No, they are going to give our family tools to help. I couldn't just call up any ol' psychologist if my dd were having an issue. I would need to be set up with a psychologist who specializes in highly gifted children like my daughter. The issues these children face are often quite complex. My dh and I are very thankful for the help we have and continue to get from those who have devoted themselves to studying children like ours. I find the whole thought of "training" a child like a dog to be extremely degrading. Of course, because before I got married I was one of these women. I was focused on school and my career and did not want to be tied down to one guy. My husband is the only man I have ever seen exclusively. Yes, my dd knows that my husband smoked pot in high school and I did it in college.

They teach it in the public schools here in 4th grade. We didn't do it this year because dd has had informal exposure. If I do formally do it eventually, it will be at a much higher level than the crap they use in our local public schools. We live in NC which has a very rich history.

I have a lot of dialogue. Dd might read or do an assignment and then we talk about it. I'll look over something she has done and help her see the strong and weak points. There are times when yes, it is time for me to write on the whiteboard and actually do more traditional teaching. Sometimes I seek out a person more qualified than myself for instruction. I find that different learning goals require different approaches. I do what it takes to get the job done. My student prefers to work independently. I see great value in independent study. I also think one's ability to be taught is important. My dd does great independently, but sometimes gets frustrated at the instructional methods of others. Working independently is not something we have to work on, but being able to do something somebody else's way is at times.

I asked a question about TRISMS on the High School board, and asta and several other members were very helpful. http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=94223 I'm pretty much sold on my decision to use it, but dh and I are going round and round with what level to get. So I will get out my:lurk5: and soak up any information on this thread too.

I think what she is referring to is the social world she experienced as a young woman. Upper middle class/affluent women were expected to be wives and hostesses. Even women who were sent to college were sent for the purpose of finding a husband. Once that was done, the young lady was expected to drop her studies and tend to her wifely duties. Homeschoolers included. I cringe every time I see someone with the attitude that homeschooling, just because it is the superior choice for themselves, is the superior choice for everyone. And what I find really strange is that some homeschool moms who were once friends with other moms when their kids were little and the moms were *JUST* SAHMs will end relationships just because the other moms send their kids to school - even though the moms continue to be SAHMs. :001_huh:

Keep in mind I march to my own drummer when it comes to my spiritual beliefs. But I do feel the teachings of Jesus are important to my life and that what Jesus taught was to do good works. For me, just believing that someone was crucified and rose from the dead is not going to help me be more like Christ or closer to God. As for eternal punishment, I don't believe in hell. I believe that people who are able but do not do good works are not going to experience what can come from doing them, and that is an eternal punishment IMO. I do agree that my interpretation of the Bible is that works are a necessary result of faith.

As it does for us. We have a flagpole in the yard and I love art with a patriotic theme. We consider the flag to be a very important symbol that has a deep meaning for each of us, but we just don't say the Pledge on a daily basis.

How can prejudice ever be overcome if it is not talked about openly? IMO keeping prejudice hidden in dark corners is what allows it to grow and fester.

ITA with this. I agree with this too, partly. What Hirshman is talking about here is a certain segment of the female population. I think if a woman gives up her well earned career to stay at home out of fear or obligation, there is an increased risk of depression, resentment, and other issues. A woman who makes the choice based on her own wants and needs is more likely to reach out in an effort to continue to find ways to fill her own wants and needs outside of the home. This is true. So while I think Hishman has approached the issue a bit narrowly, I can totally see her point. I found it weird that they used the mom who runs a magazine out of her home an example of "The other side." :001_huh: :lol::lol: At June Cleaver BTW!

Wow. Well, I am glad I'm not a Christian to these people then. I have a Catholic background, I married a Methodist, and when I have the choice as to where *I* want to go church I pick the Unitarian church. And I know how many fundamentalist Christians feel about Unitarians. I would rather be considered a non-Christian than to think I had the ability to understand God's plan. But then again I really don't believe that God has a plan, because I don't believe in God as a personified being. When I think of "God's plan" I think more about seeking harmony and enlightenment, peace and joy.

I know a lot of SAHMs who say working moms consider them to be inferior. I have never experienced this either, but you're right about extremist cases existing in every group. I do know the "mommy wars" are very real, and the most hateful stuff I see comes from militant SAHMs who appear to feel threatened by the idea their children really won't be ruined if they go to daycare. Or the women don't understand that a woman can have a career and not even use daycare. It's not just good enough for them that they have made a choice, they have to feel as if it is the only choice. But things have been this way for a long time. When women were trying to win the right to vote, other women were as much an obsticle to overcome as anything else. I think it's a wonderful thing when a woman can financially and emotionally afford to stay at home. I am so lucky to have that choice. So many women do not have the choice. And I'm lucky that that choice for me does not mean I have to turn into June Cleaver.

Wow. I would have to say that in this case, I'd have to sit down with the coach at the end of the year and let it be known that if I'm forking over the $$$ for my kid to be on a team, I expect the coaches to have their stuff together. I understand that sometimes, a team decides to change original plans and do one competition instead of another. But to be given simply the wrong date...TWICE...that's inexcusable in my opinion.

Laura, I am sorry you are so upset, but I posted a legitimate question that was in no way an opinion. The reason I asked this question is because my husband's family is Methodist. We say the Apostle's Creed in church. The same one I remember as a kid, "I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins..." I am trying to figure out if my husband's family and their church is another group under attack by whatever brand(s) of Christianity is negative toward the Catholic faith. That is why I asked the question. I was truly not trying to offend you or anyone. My grandparents were from Ireland. My grandfather was Catholic and my grandmother was Protestant. Not hard to understand why they immigrated, huh?

Dd learned it when she was a baby. We have issues with the forced allegiance to a government thing for a kid who doesn't even know what she really wants to be when she grows up yet. Then there is the whole "Under God" thing simply because in recent history, that phrase has come to represent only one group's definition of God and we don't want to force our child to swear allegiance to them either. So we have never forced dd to say it.

I wonder this..... For people who don't believe Catholics are "true Christians"...do they believe Methodists are "true Christians"?

While my daughter clearly likes boys and I would be surprised, I would be just as happy if she decided to have a family with a female partner as I would her having a family with a male. I also would be happy if she decided to be a planned single parent. I'd be happy if she decided she didn't want kids at all and focused on her career. I'm glad my daughter has a lot more choices even than I did, and certainly many more than my mother did.

The same could be said of religion. But certainly not all religious people take things to the extreme of repressing other groups or being ugly, mean, or spiteful. There are all kinds of feminists. Personally, I really like men :tongue_smilie:and I like TV shows with strong male figures. But I still want my dd to know she can grow up to have a family without a man. And even though men are taken advantage of in some cases, women haven't totally shattered the glass ceiling- yet.

That is INSANE! :cursing: I seriously can not say what I am really thinking right now. I am so so sorry that you have had to be persecuted in this way.

My daughter would go absolutely CRAZY if she had to be around kids her own age for that long. She would be longingly looking across the schoolyard to where her friends were and hating the fact she was stuck with a bunch of babies. Some of her friends are moving on to middle school and would be in a different building altogether. It's because my dd doesn't have to put up with agemates for long periods that she tolerates and even enjoys some of them now. Ugggg- yes, the public school's idea of "socialization" is often for the birds.

Here is what I honestly think - when you join a competitive team, it is your responsibility to get your child to competition. Most parents who invest the kind of time and money to have their child on a team do so because our kids are more serious about whatever the thing is than the kids doing it recreationally. So now you know how expensive it can be to have your child on a team. I don't know anyone who has their child on any sort of competitive team be it dance, cheer, travel soccer, swimming, whatever, that will tell you it isn't expensive. At this point, it's not only your child you have to think about. The other team members shouldn't have to suffer because of your and your dh's misconceptions. My dd is on a dance team, not a swim team. But I would be BEYOND livid if my dd was doing a duet and the other girl's parents all of a sudden said, "Sorry, we can't afford it after all and we mixed up the dates and have other plans." Even in a large line, one kid missing can mean the difference between platinum and silver or getting an overall for our team. If your dd doesn't show, her partner will have to scratch and all that time and money that other family has invested will be for nothing. Edited to add: I just asked my dh what he would say if dd was doing a duet and her partner canceled. Keep in mind that solo and duet costumes for dance are easily over $200 and the private lessons to learn the routine are $30 a week. He said- "If they told me the grandmother died, I would want to see the obituary." Team parents take this stuff very seriously. And then you also have dance recital. Your dd not being there will mean the coreography might have to be re-worked. I think what you have to do is get your dd to that swim meet and finish out whatever is left of your competition season. I would call your dd's dance teacher tomorrow first thing to let her know dd won't be at the recital. He or she needs as much notice as possible to get the routine ready. Then, you need to sit down with your dd and help her to decide what her priorities are. If it is swimming she loves at a level she wants to do it competitively and you can afford it- great. But you'll need to find a dance class where there aren't performances during swimming season, or be totally upfront at the beginning of the year that your child is doing dance for the class aspect and won't be performing in recital, etc. (we have a few at or studio who do this) I'm really sorry you are in this predicament. :grouphug:

Could you just let him just start LL8 if he already has skills and you think LL7 might be too light?

It doesn't bother me at all but I always thought it was impolite not to ask the *parent* first if the child could have a cookie or other treat. It does not seem like that is the norm though. I am always thankful when someone informs me of their child's dietary restrictions or preferences. I am also very impressed with the vast majority of parents I know who, for various reasons, don't eat certain foods - and I am even more impressed with their children. The kids read the labels on food and politely decline it if they feel they should. What does annoy me, though is if the parent *doesn't* inform me of the dietary stuff, and then gets all huffy puffy because I gave a kid a typical kid food like a fruit roll up. I mean I'm not a mind reader here, ya know! I also get a little annoyed when people bring their kids to a party and don't notify me he can't have the normal party stuff. If I knew, I would have had something special there for the kid. I haven't run into this much, but I hate when people feel the need to give me a lecture about how superior their food choices are. I mean I love to hear about their choice, interesting facts, that kind of thing. I just don't like it when a lecture comes with it. I'm sure they wouldn't like it if I started telling them how wonderful it would be to take their vegetarian kid out for a steak. :tongue_smilie:

Lol- I agree. But fortunately most of the Christians I know aren't like that guy. :D

Well, if she did decide to make those choices, there is really nothing I can do to stop it. Keeping her locked up in the house is not going to solve the self esteem issues and other psychological issues that can cause a child to act out in this way. What I can do if I see evidence of her making wrong choices is to set up an appointment with a qualified professional (for the whole family) to help get to the root of the issues. Having a true dialogue is much different than just asking a child questions to get them to say what you want to hear. That's exactly right. The more situations she is exposed to and the more people both good and bad she is exposed to, the better prepared she is for a time when I won't be there to tell her what to think or what to do.

Well then the term it is perfect for us, because when my dh is in there he does act primitive and lacks sense. :tongue_smilie: