[Have you ever felt someone wasn't doing "enough" hs'ing wise?]

The next time the subject comes up, I would ask "do you want my honest opinion?" and if she said yes, I'd give it. Obviously I'd be kind about it, but if someone was really telling me they wanted to know my thoughts and ideas on a subject, then I'd feel confident in offering that up. So unless you think she's likely to be telling you she wants your opinion when she really doesn't, that's the way I'd suggest handling it.

 

:iagree:

 

Or say, "Do you want help with this or do you just want to vent?"

[Infants and Solid Food]

I have not held off on dairy, but I have on nuts. She LOVES cheese and yogurt. I might be a bit more careful, but we don't have any food allergies/sensitivities on either side of the family.

[s/o guns & boys: Is there anything you don't let your girls play with?]

Sigh.

 

I get really tired of this argument.

 

Here's the thing: There were many things about the way I was raised that I resented and "rebelled" against. And there were a few things I think my parents got more or less right.

 

What I came away with is the idea that what matters most about parenting (and homeschooling and lots of other things) is being thoughtful and intentional about my choices. Once I know why I make the decisions I do, I can explain to my children clearly my reasons.

 

While there are things my kids haven't loved about the way they've been raised, neither of them has ever, ever said anything to suggest that they will swing the other way just for the sake of it.

 

In fact, my daughter is pretty clear that she understands and appreciates our efforts to be good parents. She admits we haven't always gotten everything "right," but at least so far she holds no resentment.

 

My son, who has had more personality conflicts with my husband, has told me he intends to be a different kind of dad. But, on the whole, he appreciates having been raised intentionally. And, again, although he doesn't always agree with our decisions, he does understand them and doesn't seem to be holding his breath for the moment he can go wild out in the world.

 

Neither of them had Barbies or guns or violent video games. They don't eat meat or dairy or most refined sugars. They've never had a hamburger or milkshake. They've never gone to another child's birthday party without bringing along a cupcake I baked at home (since they do not eat the cake that is served).

 

There are many, many movies and TV shows "everybody else" watches that they have not been allowed to see.

 

But we've explained every single one of those decisions. We've never required them to say they agree, but we do insist that they honor our choices.

 

Neither of them has ever indicated they intend to do things differently in their own lives or as parents.

 

I'm sure some kids rebel against decisions and rules they perceive as arbitrary or unfair. But we work really hard not to make rules like that.

 

Hmmm, could be you're "tired of this argument" because you're seeing one where none exists. That poster did NOT argue with you at all. She simply stated that reason that she did not make the same choices as you. She did not said that you should do things *this* way for *this* reason. :chillpill:

[If you do a toy rotation.....]

how do you separate the toys? Do you keep 'like' toys together or put some in each rotation? For example, if you have several boats, do you put one in each bin to be rotated or do you keep them all together? Do you rotate blocks or leave those out all the time? Or maybe one type of block in each rotation (like duplos in one, wooden alphabet blocks in another)

 

I am being slowly driven insane by the number of toys my kids have.....but they really do play with everything. I've toyed with the idea of rotating toys before, but if the dinosaurs are in one bin and the boats are in another, you miss out on the imaginative play of having the dinos riding in the boats? Any advice?

[Interesting article on actress/neuroscientist/hs mom Mayim Bialik]

I want to read that! Link?

[Do any of you that have boy(s), NOT allow guns/weapons etc, for play?]

My mom tried to not allow guns.....my brother just finished sniper school!

[How to prepare for MIL moving in]

It can work! I've never done it, but I have a friend that has been living with her inlaws for 5 years!!! She gets upset about it sometimes (doesn't think her husband is motivated enough to get them out.....but they are on their way) but it does work for them. There are always negatives in a situation.....but a built-in babysitter would be great! Definitely lay out expectations beforehand and try to extend as much grace as possible.

[Thoughts about co-ops and SOFs]

I'm a yellow circle. I try to be a VERY yellow circle. I want yellow in all areas of my life. But, rainbows are beautiful and although I have yellow in all areas....I want to not just include, but embrace ALL other shapes and colors. (In fact, I believe that if I don't do this......my yellowness will fade) My embracing other shapes and colors doesn't change my yellowness!

 

I am enjoying this analogy!

[Pajamas]

Well, ask yourself this. Do you want to teach her that slovenliness and and careless attitude is okay at home? If that is okay with you, then allow her to wear pajamas all day. What you teach her about personal hygiene now will have a lasting impression on her later. Getting dressed isn't about clothing choices, it's about a hygiene habit that does affect attitudes about many other things.

 

I'm honestly not sure if this is a joke or not. Are you being serious? How are pjs unhygienic?

[Pajamas]

I have never, ever heard the "air things out" theory. Now THAT'S weird. I and my kids always wear underwear with pajamas. I even always wear a bra. I don't like going without one- I like the 'support'.

 

My kids and I bathe in the evening, because I like clean bodies in clean beds. (I could say here that I think people who shower in the morning are filthy pigs because they wallow in their sweat/dirt all night long......but I won't.....because that would be rude!) Of the days we're not going anywhere (although there aren't THAT many of them) we probably stay in PJs 1/3 of them.

 

I'm not going to bother being offended that some people think were slovenly, I have better things to do......BUT I do have a question for the people who think we're slovenly/lazy. Is it equally slovenly/lazy to come home from an activity and put pjs on hours before you go to bed? Say for example, 6 pm. If my family got up and got dressed and was out doing activities all day, came home at 5 and by 6 everyone was in pjs watching a family movie and eating junk food. Is THAT lazy and slovenly? People are more likely to 'stop by' in the evening than in the morning.

[Pajamas]

I agree with the 'pick your battles' thing. I try not to say 'no' too much and this seems like an easy thing to let her do.

[Why can't two straight men sleep in the same bed?]

I don't like sleeping with other women.

 

My neighbor invited me to a retreat with her church group. I knew no one in the group and hardly knew my neighbor. I was horrified to discover that I had to share a room with 3 other women, and was expected to sleep with my neighbor. I didn't like it one bit. One of the women undressed completely in front of us (in her 50's) and my neighbor was a messy tooth brusher. She was all foaming and dripping toothpaste. It was awful.

 

And I detest it when women choose a bathroom stall next to mine when there are others non-adjacent to use. I just don't get it. I'll go to a movie theater bathroom with 15 stalls, and I'm alone. Another woman will come in and choose the stall directly next to mine. I really hate that!

 

And I hate it when people talk to me when I'm on the toilet, too.

 

I NEED SPACE.

 

Y'know, when I use a public restroom, I go in the first stall that I see that doesn't have feet sticking out! I don't pay any attention to if there is someone in the adjacent stall or not.

 

Now, I would notice if someone was undressing in front of me! But toothbrushing doesn't bother me either. Women at my book club were talking about how much they HATE toothpaste in the sink, but really, I just can't get that worked up over toothpaste!

[avoiding bathing suits ...]

The pools we go have signs that say you must be wearing swim attire and emphasizes that basketball shorts and t-shirts are not allowed. I've never seen anyone wearing non-swimwear in the pool.

 

I think there are lots of choices that are modest. Someone linked http://www.limericki.com the other day.....there are CUTE suits there!

[I keep hearing people say that getting things under control in one area of your life]

It seems to me that if I divert all my attention to one part of my life, the other parts fall apart. :rofl:

:iagree::iagree:

[Does making a final curriculum decision make you depressed?]

It's as if the decision process is the most fun part of it all. I listen. I investigate. I research. I talk to dh for endless hours. I snoop at homeschool conferences. I pray for guidance. But when I finally press the *purchase* button, I get cold feet and butterflies in my stomach. But choose I must. I cannot do everything that I want so much to do. Time is flying. To choose means to give up lovely things for the sake of other things. Happens every year. :sad:

 

I sooooo relate to this! I feel an intense pressure to pick the 'best' thing..... but there's no real way to know for sure what the best thing is. I hate that I can't do everything.

[Renting a house--do I tell them ahead of time that I homeschool?]

I'm sure the landlords mentioned it because they thought it would be a selling point for YOU. They're just trying to show their property in the best light possible......I very seriously doubt that they care about how you educate your kids.

[Newly discovered authors - fiction]

I recently discovered Michelle Moran. I read Nefertiti and The Heretic Queen and LOVED them. They are really, really great stories. No explicit sex or violence, though it is referred to. Then I read Cleopatra's Daughter and was literally sick to my stomach. There is a LOT of violence that is referred to- nothing graphically described....just mentioned. And it is relevant to the story and I'm sure it's very historically accurate. But it made me not want to read any more stories that take place in ancient Rome. Blech. But I highly recommend the first two. (Egypt instead of Rome.....seems it was not as violent a society????)

That's my only newly discovered author!

[Shadow Children?]

They're really good. I read them when I taught 5th grade and I think that would be as young as you'd want to go.....it is dark kindof like The Giver.

[Average size of women in U.S.]

I had a crazy experience yesterday. I HAD to buy some new clothes because we were taking an extended family picture. I took 7 or 8 shirts into the dressing room ('cause you know you have to try a million before you find one that is halfway decent). Well, shockingly enough, they all looked okay. Dh told me to buy them. All. Dh does NOT spend money like that. Later, I asked him if he was embarrassed by my jeans/t-shirt combo that I wear all.the.time. He looked surprised and said 'no, but you came out of the dressing room and you were not crying- if you're not crying....we're buying it!"

I'm only a size 8/10....but I have huge bOOks and it makes everything look awful. Either it's too tight in the chest or I look like I'm wearing a sack.

[Recommendations for Life Skills type books for teens?]

He does have stuff targeted at teens. But I'm not 100% sure if it's a book or a curriculum.....the youth group at our church is doing it right now. Even though it's not finance, I would highly recommend 7 Habits for Highly Effective Teenagers.

[how difficult is it to make a tankini swimsuit?]

Someone posted a link to http://www.limericki.com the other day- their suits are soooo cute! I seriously want to order a new suit and I don't need one!

[How to make a baby(fetus) wiggle/kick/move?]

I'm so glad she felt the baby move!! Just wanted to say that my doctor told me that when I was up and active that it was very calming and soothing to the baby- like rocking. When you're still and calm, the baby wakes up because they're not being 'rocked'. It seems to make sense!

[I am going to redesign my school room based on my new focus...]

Someone posted a link to someone's "calendar time" blog post not too long ago, but I can't find it now. You should be able to find some cool examples if you google for them. The one a PP mentioned at Smooth Stones is great! If you go to a teacher store (or they even have some at B&N) they have bulletin board packs that are all decorated with the same theme and include things like a reusable calendar, weather graph, counting the school days, etc. Lots of preschools/kindergartens do this in "circle time".

HTH!

[When you hear of others having babies, do you]

Yes. A thousand times yes.

 

The least appealing stage of motherhood, IMO, is the baby stage. Once they get to crawling, it gets better. Up until then, bleh. My favourite age is the toddler & pre-school years. Kids that age are awesome.

 

It's so crazy how different people are! I LOVE the baby stage. LOVE IT. I could snuggle babies all day, every day, forever. However, they just keep getting bigger! And they don't want to be cuddled- they want to explore! (Which is great too, in it's own way, but it's not babyhood!)

[80's Again: Yesterday at the library I saw two moms with alligator-clip feathers]

LOL my nearly 60 year old MIL has one! I, however, do not.