Spoke to someone at the sponsoring bookstore today and double checked that books from home would be okay. Great reminder. I am sure we will be purchasing a few books anyway. :-) I just want to make sure that the girls have hardcovers of certain books that they will want to keep. The person at the bookstore mentioned that we might be able to see 4-6 authors during the 2 hour window on Friday depending on the lines for each one. I think my 14 yr old has decided to forgo Veronica Roth, anticipating a long line for her, so she can see other favorites. ( I personally felt the 3rd book ruined the Divergent ​ series so I am not too disappointed about missing her. ) We have seen a few of the authors that will speak on Saturday before, but since Saturday is already tied up for us, my dds will be thrilled to see some new authors on Friday. Just hoping my oldest can miss school. I've only been to Charleston once (about a month ago) and I am a little nervous about driving downtown. I told the girls we would head into the city early Friday and I plan on parking and not moving the car again until the book signing event is over. Cindy

Or is anyone planning to attend this year? Just found info on this when checking one of her favorite author's websites to see if they would be close by soon for a book signing. It looks terrific. I am going to phone and email for further information today. http://yallfest.org/2015-festival-info/ My two daughters and I would love to attend - I love a lot of YA fiction also. We already have a prior commitment for Saturday, Nov. 14th but are considering driving down to attend the Friday afternoon book signing. Some of my 14 year old dd's favorites are going to be participating in the Friday event (Gail Carriger, Rick Yancey, Kiera Cass, etc. and I would love to have Elizabeth Wein sign my copy of Code Name Verity​). Rick Yancey was actually scheduled to be at our local book festival in September but had to cancel and my dd was quite disappointed. I may let my oldest miss school to drive down - if there are no tests or projects that day - because she is the aspiring writer in the family and she loves that sort of thing. It might be a fun girl's trip - leave after school on Thursday and come back Friday night. Just thinking things through here. We will definitely be planning on attending next year's event so we can attend the Saturday panels. Cindy

Thanks to everyone who replied and sent PMs. Just hearing that I wasn't crazy, and that others have been there before has really helped even though I hate that others have had to experience these feelings. I am a little more at peace with my emotions and lack of logic in regards to this person. Just typing all of this out over the past few days has definitely helped me process some of my feelings and to realize that my emotions don't have to be logical. I will be employing some of the techniques and ideas suggested, and may still end up seeing a therapist, but I am truly in a better place than I was a week ago. Thanks again, Cindy

ProfessorMom, Somehow my reply isn't showing up in the post above. Just wanted to let you know that viewing my situation as a break-up with the accompanying loss and grief had not occurred to me. I has made me evaluate the situation somewhat differently over the past couple of days. I wanted to thank you for your reply and for sharing your experience.

I will now have that song in my head all night. :laugh: ​ It would be a good mantra. Thanks for your thoughts. Sometimes, I still wonder what I did to make this person turn on me, and it can take me a while to realize that if I had been paying better attention I would have realized they did this to others in the past.

This has given me a lot to think about. I do want to be able to see this person and not have my gut clench. I don't want a relationship, but I don't think they will ever truly see what they did as wrong because to them the end justifies the means. Knowing what they are willing to do to people who were their friends, well it does sort of make me feel sorry for them.

Thanks, this is something that is probably true in this instance. Now that I think about it, I can't really think of a time in the past when this person truly seemed happy. It's just that things appear to be going so well for them when we are struggling. I feel bad saying it, but thinking it does bring things into perspective.

Not feeding the resentment is my goal. I am not succeeding right now though. Time has eased this somewhat, but I thought it would be much better by now (nearly two years out - hard to admit that.)

Forgot to say that I am sorry you have had to deal with resentment recently. I am considering therapy, so glad to know it has been positive for you.

That's an idea. :laugh: Although, I probably won't be comfortable posting that mantra around the house. But in my head there may be adjectives added abundantly.

I have to say that this seems so simple, but this may be the idea I need. Love the idea of post-its too. I have tried to think of other things, but whenever I would see this person or be reminded of it, my ideas always are forgotten. The example is helpful. Thank you so much.

It is comforting in a sad way to know that others struggle. Sometimes I feel so alone in being unable to shake this. This person and their family seem to have an absolutely charmed life since this all happened. It is hard to move in the same circles, and I find myself making excuses to not attend things where I know I will run into this person.

Thank you. I am not religious, but what you said about justice rings true for me. I think that may be part of it. That makes a lot of sense, and I guess I never thought of it exactly that way. Cindy

You are correct. I know I feel - whether I'm right or wrong - that this person "gets away with things" and even seems to come out on top when they are not "playing fair" or even purposefully stepping on others. It's comforting in a weird way to hear that others can take time to process or deal with the emotions. I know that I shouldn't dwell on it and sometimes I am able to step back from this, but other times I let the pity party roll. Thanks for your thoughts and experiences. They really help. I feel as if there is no one IRL to discuss this with without dredging up hurt.

Maybe. It is tangled up in other emotions sometimes.

Thanks. I am so sorry your children are hurting. :grouphug: Seeing our children hurt is one of the hardest things a parent has to do.

I have considered it. I am really having a hard time keeping up with all of my dd's appts. at the moment - I have one with a lot of medical problems as of the last 6 months or so. I was hoping for some ideas to try on my own first, but may reconsider taking time out for therapy for myself if I have to. My feelings seem so petty and inconsequential when faced with my child's health, and as Tsuga mentioned above there are so many important issues in the world to dwell on or fight for that when things are going well, I feel almost silly to consider therapy for this issue. I don't mean to reject your idea - it really may be what it takes - I just feel very self conscious when thinking of talking to a therapist about this problem. Thanks for your reply. Just typing this out has helped me think through why I have been so reluctant to speak to a professional.

Everything you said makes so much sense, and I will reread it and try to take it to heart. I love that poem too. I tell myself many of those things, but still find myself overwhelmed by resentment because my heart doesn't always listen to my head. I know that I am so privileged in so many ways and my hurt cannot compare with some of the things you mention. I try to remind myself of this, but in the moment it just doesn't help and I resolve to "shake it off" or "let it go" but it just rears it's ugly head again when I am having a hard time. Possibly I can't let go of this feeling because one of my babies ( she is nearly an adult, but you know what I mean) was so affected. Like I said above, she has moved on and even reconciled to a degree, but I just can't seem to get beyond this feeling. I don't like it, and I know that I would be happier without out these feelings, but that doesn't seem to help me in the here and now. Thanks for responding. I appreciate it.

Thank you. I appreciate the hugs.

I feel that my relationships with my family are suffering due to resentment as well as jealousy of someone who was once very close with my family, but due to lying and other behaviors is now cut off. We (my family) have had a lot of struggles since this happened-not due to this person- and it is hard to hear about good things happening to this person without feeling resentment and a little jealousy. Not proud of it, but it is what it is. I would love to get past this, but it bubbles up whenever I am having insomnia or a bad day and then I tend to let it fester. Due to privacy issues, I am leaving out huge chunks of background - that is not really relevant - I just need ways to help myself move past this. Most other members of my family have moved on, but since we live in the same neighborhood and have kids in the same school, I can't avoid hearing things and feeling why me. I devoted a lot of time and energy to this person and their family in the past and feel used and betrayed. Does anyone else deal with this now or have you in the past? I try really hard to not bring this up with my dh or children - they are past it for the most part, but I do have a child who was devastated by this person's behavior in the past and even they have moved on. I don't gossip or even mention this to friends. Like I said above, I am not proud of my attitude, and I try not to dwell, but it reappears when I am struggling with other things and I just can't shake it. Please be gentle. I want to "let it go". I am just not sure how to do it permanently. Cindy

So sorry. Losing a kitty is hard and a best loved kitty just makes it harder. ((()))

Hank the Cowdog books were always fun for our girls at those ages. While not classic literature by any means, they were amusing and lighthearted. The main character, Hank, reminds me of Barney Fife - he is always threatened and needing to save the ranch. I believe the author reads them and he even adds silly songs occasionally. Even grandparents enjoyed them on long car trips. Of course ymmv but most are not scary, of the ones we had my girls said to maybe avoid the Halloween one and the one with the bull in the title because that has one of the main characters getting injured and the dog needing to get help - of course everything works out in the end. :-) Hope this helps, Cindy Edited to add that we used to purchase these through Rainbow Resource but our library had a few as well.

My husband took our 14 yr old dd to see Taylor Swift in a nearby city last fall. After he was there (he went to see the show with her), he found out that the coliseum actually had an area set up for parents of concert goers to wait. Maybe you could call the coliseum and find out if they offer something like that if you would be more comfortable with a parent being on site. If they will be buying merchandise or just looking at merchandise, doing so before the concert might be easier - of course there will be long lines anytime. I think my dd and her dad went around 3 hours early to wait in line and purchase merchandise. He had taken the older girls to several concerts, but I am assuming that 1D will be more comparable to the chaos of the TS concert. Hope your daughters have the time of their lives.

So funny. Sounds like you had a fun time with family - except for the outhouse of course.