If you saw someone in authority, specifically in a church but not the pastor, exhibiting behavior that was in line with grooming but saw nothing specific, what would you do? This is a nice man. Everyone I know seems to like him. He's good at what he does. But I see some warning signs. Nothing overt. Nothing that screams abuse. Small things. Things that I don't think should exist in a church. Inviting children to participate in a traditionally adult program. Insisting on a modesty based dress code for the women in this program, which includes dress/skirts to the knees (and there is no historical precedence or practical reason for this dress code). Singling out and approaching a tween girl (my dd) who did not meet this dress code. I'm not saying this man is a predator, but three strikes you're out, ya' know. Again, I'm not accusing him of anything. I think he believes what he was taught about modesty-based dress. I think he's trying to fill a gap by inviting the kids to join in. I think he and the pastor and probably dh think this is all harmless. I vehemently disagree. I'm ready to take all my kids out of this church right now. But this is dh's church. I don't really go anyway. I'm going to talk to dh. I want to talk to the pastor and the man, too. I don't want to come across as accusing this man of being a child predator! I'm not accusing him. But his actions are reflective of that, and they ALL need to understand that. These actions, intentional or not, are sending the wrong signals to my child and programming her to be more accepting of predatory behavior. I will not accept that. I'm really upset about this. It's after 3 am. I've been up for over an hour because I'm that upset. I would love to sit them all down and give them a good tongue lashing!!! And then take my kids and walk out of that church and never look back. But that approach is not going to go over well. It's likely to just make everyone defensive and cause bigger problems. I need a more diplomatic way of handling this. Suggestions?

A woman after my own heart :001_wub: Sorry things have been piled on you. :grouphug:

:grouphug:

So.....speakers don't listen. Speakers only go one way. You need a microphone of some kind to listen. It's two different processes. One sends. One receives. One cannot do both. Most all phones, tablet, computers, etc. are equipped with both speakers and microphones (ever so small!). If it "listens" to you, or has the capability of voice activation of any kind, then it has a microphone somewhere on it. Even bluetooth speakers would need a microphone to "listen" and send what it hears back to through bluetooth to your device. So in other words, all you need are speakers that don't have a microphone (and are not voice activated.) There are TONS available. I really like this one: https://www.amazon.com/Lugulake-Aluminum-Portable-Bluetooth-Playtime-Silver/dp/B00FGR5XNQ/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1513271835&sr=8-3&keywords=bluetooth+speaker+stand

So these are great ideas! And definitely a lot to consider. And lots of ides for others to make different emergency kits for whoever might be reading this now or in the future. For my use, out of teens I'm giving them to, only one is NOT commuting from home. Most of them will be living at home (with Dr. Mom), and the little kit is just for them to use while they're running around to/from classes and out with friends. The one that is not still living at home will be on a small campus with an easily accessible clinic open 24 hrs and a convenience store in his dorm building. Everything he should need should be available on campus.

Wow. Lots of good ideas.

But Pepto specifically says antidiarrheal. :confused1: Not trying to argue. Just trying to figure this one out. I really almost never use stomach meds. I realize that Immodium would probably be a better choice to treat specifically diarrhea, but considering that I have limited space to work with, wouldn't Pepto be okay to keep on hand to treat digestive issues in general (at least until something more can be had)?

Wouldn't Pepto tablets work? Maybe not quite as well as specifically for diarrhea, but more to keep on hand just in case? I rarely use digestive medicines (other than for heartburn for myself). I have Dramamine in the vehicles for extreme cases of motion sickness, but I mostly use peppermints for that. I have kept Pepto tablets on hand, just in case, but I usually end up throwing them out because they've expired. Pretty much same for Immodium.

No issues with TTO being used neat here, either. I've used it for cold sores. Applied it directly whenever it started to hurt, so multiple times a day. I've never used it for ringworm, though. *I* would probably just apply it neat several times a day.

yes, forgot to add pepto bismal tablets!

Y'all are great! Love these ideas. I do a car emergency kit already. So this is in addition to that, specifically to carry in their book bag (or, if they don't want to, to put in the glove compartment for easy access or desk drawer or something). For this kit, I'm trying to KISS. Things that can pull double duty are good. Simple to find, simple to use, simple to store. Everything has to fit in a 9 x 4 1/2" vinyl zippered pouch. For instance, while I have instant ice packs in my tackle box kit I keep in my vehicle, they would be too bulky for these kits. I will put Zyrtec in and not Benadryl because (1) Zyrtec is an antihistamine and will work for less severe allergic reactions, even though it's not as effective as Benadryl (IMO). (2) Benadryl will make them drowsy, and they don't need that. They will need to be able to function. (3) They typically use Zyrtec when allergies do act up (inevitable in Georgia), and (4) there are clinics at both campuses if they need something more or have a severe reaction (in addition to 911). I use ibuprofen because that works for my crew. I wouldn't need to include acetaminophen for them because no one has issues with ibuprofen, but I could see where someone else might want it instead or in addition to. I have an herbal first aid salve that will work for everything skin related (except burns). It covers pain relief, itching, swelling, rashes, bruising, bites, stings...again pretty much anything, so unless they get a burn, they're covered. I should get burn cream. I need to replenish my stock on that anyway. We're in GA. I have bought hand-warmers before for emergency kits. We never used them. That could go in a car kit, though. Updated list: first aid salve (single serve packets) burn cream (single serve packets) bandaids ibuprofen Zyrtec Emergen-C packets tissues honey sticks (maybe not--but I've already bought them. And they'll be safer in the vinyl pouch than stuck in a pocket of their backpack, which is what they'd likely do instead.) cough drops peppermints Colgate Wisps menstrual pad (for dd) laminated card w/ important info copy of insurance card (excellent idea!) Hmmm...not sure if I will be able to fit much more in there!

I remember many times my oldest exhibited non-NT behavior, except at the time, I didn't know it was not typical! I thought I was the one messing up. There were many times I'd be in tears. I knew my ds was ADHD. I never had a diagnosis but I knew it. It's the major reason we pulled him out of regular school started homeschooling at 1st grade. And I was right. (He finally got an official diagnosis when he started a B&M school in the eleventh grade.) BUT I didn't have a good understanding of that or how to deal with it. I learned, but little guy had to put up with my learning curve. Also, there were other things that I wish I'd understood were not ADHD but not NT either. For instance, he wasn't being rebellious because he didn't want to wear jeans. He genuinely had issues with the rough texture. He wasn't being rude when covering his ears at the Christmas concert or when the preacher got real loud. The sound was truly something that hurt his ears! Poor guy. I say this so you know you're not alone. Give yourself a hug. You're doing the best you can. Just keep going. Listen to others who've BTDT, especially when things start being repeated by multiple people. (I really wish I had done more of that!) You're going to get through this.

Maybe you could try talking to your pediatrician over the phone (might have to leave a message for him to call you). Tell him you didn't feel comfortable covering some things in front of your ds, but... and go over everything you're outlining in this thread. All the different things. All the different times. Tell him you KNOW all this combined is not NT and you NEED a referral. He should give you one. If he doesn't at that point, I'd fire him and find someone else. (If that's possible--I know insurance stuff sucks sometimes.) ETA: Just thinking if you find a way to get him to go ahead with a referral, it'd save time in trying to find another ped and then getting a new patient appointment and then getting the referral. You could still fire him.

First, you are not a horrible mother! :grouphug: You are not "doing it wrong." Does a "doing it right" parent exist, anyway? Aren't we all struggling to figure out how to best help our own children in all their variety? Second, to me, this does not sound NT. Your ped. doesn't live with you. Trust your gut. Ask around and find a good psychologist to go to. Talk to them about insurance. I've found they are very understanding that most people need every penny they earn and don't have room for extra bills, necessary or not, and generally will work as much as they can. (They have bills, too.) :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Excellent idea!

Oh, they're also getting new battery charger packs in their stockings, so they'll have that to help keep their phones charged.

Good thoughts! I'm concerned that a protein bar would get smashed. I was thinking the honey sticks could be a good pick-me-up, but is it very likely that they'd break open? I was afraid I'd need to include some mini scissors or something cause they'd be too difficult to just break open. Menstrual pad is a good idea. I had already planned on it, just forgot to add it to the list. The discreetness factor is something I didn't consider about peppermints/honey sticks vs. cough drops. I may add those in. Emergen-C is definitely going in! I use that a lot. We tend to add the raspberry flavor to orange juice or Sprite. We do that a few days to a week heading up to trips. Money is a good idea. Not sure if I'll put that in it for their stockings, but maybe hand it to them later and stress to hold on to it for emergencies. They all have phones that double as flash lights, so not sure that I'd want to take up the space for another one. Tissues. Yes. Definitely need to add that in. Pens. Those things do have a nasty habit of disappearing, don't they!

I can tell you what I did with ds. Nothing. Well, I DID stuff, but nothing worked. :mad: Finally, he got bugged by coworkers enough to start wearing deodorant more frequently, and the odor of his room went down considerably. This happened about the same that the next boy started needing deodorant... and not wearing it. I walked into my oldest's room one day and was pleasantly surprised at how it did NOT reek! Then I walked across the hall and into the younger boy's room. :ack2: You would've thought they had switched rooms or something. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: No advice. Sorry. Good luck!

Mine like Rummikub, Munchkins, and Catan.

I'm making small college/school emergency kits for my older kids for stocking stuffers. The pouches I bought are only 9 x 4.5 in. The idea is that they're small enough to keep in a backpack or glove compartment. So far, I'm putting in the standard first aid stuff: bandaids, single-serve homemade first aid salve packets, ibuprofen and allergy medicine. I'm also planning on including peppermints and honey sticks. I'm going to make a laminated card with simple instructions and tips, in case they don't remember how much or what to take for what. I could add in cough drops, but both the peppermints and honey sticks could be used for coughs. I don't see a reason to add acetaminophen when I've already got ibuprofen. Maybe regular 12-hr Mucinex? That's what I give to big kids who get stuffy noses and/or sore throats. Any other ideas? Ds is going away for college. Dd will be living at home and commuting. I'm also giving one to her boyfriend who will be commuting from his home as well.

A cheap smart phone that can't do anything BUT text and calls. :lol: I just upgraded my very cheap smartphone to something I could do more with, but before that, I was very limited. About the only thing I used other than texting and making calls was a calendar app. I would think you could do the reverse, if you wanted.

I'm so sorry.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

We saw icy mix falling. None of stuck. (Roads are a bit slippery, though.) My ds works about 45 minutes north west of us. There was two inches (per him) of snow on the ground when he left work this afternoon. Snow sticking within 20 minutes of us! But not at my house. :toetap05:

I'm not going to make any decisions based on astrology, but I find it fun in a reflective sense. I like to find things to make you smile, even if it's something like laughing and blaming Mercury's retrograde for accidentally sending an inappropriate to text to your mother-in-law. :scared: :rofl: Astrology is one of those things that's way more nuanced than saying this alignment caused a particular whatever. Everyone that I know that takes it seriously will be quick to tell you that it doesn't cause anything...it simply makes certain things more likely, and even that is dependent upon other factors. I don't understand it well myself. But I do think it's fun and can even be useful. Having been so certain of various things in my younger years, I've learned to be very careful of saying never. Also, I see belief in astrology as essentially being a religious or faith-held belief, something not far from belief in, say, spiritual gifts. For instance, some [people I know IRL] would swear that astrology is bonkers, but have no problems proclaiming their "spiritual gift" and using that to excuse certain behaviors. For instance, I know of one self-proclaimed "prophet" who excuses her rudeness because her spiritual gift means that she speak it like it is. All of that is meant with a smile and a tone of casual conversation over coffee... ...but since Mercury is in retrograde, I will assume there was a communication mix-up and apologize now to whoever I offended. ;)