We have a three year old Golden. Had him since he was a puppy. We're home all the time (obvs) and don't travel very often. Once a year (twice this year), we have to kennel him when we go out of town for a weekend. He doesn't really handle it well - stops eating while he's there and won't eat much for about a week or so after we've picked him up and he's been home. I've always chalked it up to separation anxiety of a sort (though he doesn't show any of those behaviors at home). Because I've talked about how our dog behaves after he visits the kennel with my family, my sister mentioned that she had seen a posting online about the place we use sending a dog home from the kennel we use with a shock collar still on. Granted, it's online and all that. She's going to watch the discussion and see if the kennel responds. She said that some kennels use shock collars, though not all, and I feel kind of stupid because that never crossed my mind. Do kennels use shock collars? Is this prevalent enough that I need to be asking about this?

W7D3 is done. I tripped twice - once felt like a cartoon version of falling, but managed to catch myself and kept running. lol Welcome, Miss Peregrine!

I request books two-three weeks in advance from home. I renew as needed. So far, so good. I also have a wish list in an app on my phone so that I have it with me at HPB or random used book sales.

I have. My kids have. It can be an issue of the fabric your clothes are made of, too. Depending on which activity we're doing and how tick friendly the environment is, we may also elect to wear shorts and t-shirts, socks and shoes, and apply Deep Woods Off. We make sure to shower at night because I'd rather have a higher percentage of DEET. This is what works for us, but YMMV. It feels to me like it won't matter what suggestions anyone makes, because there will be a reason why it's not a possibility. That's ok. You'll need to find what you want to make work. The best any of us can do is throw a bunch of suggestions out there.

You might want to check out GoKaleo. I've lost 52lbs in 20 months. I don't count calories per se, but the same principle still exists. I swap high calorie foods for lower calories foods and eat fewer calories than I burn. My overall picture is high carb, low fat, and no oil. It's just the means by which I work with my body's satiety mechanisms, though, so that I can sustain lower calorie eating without feeling like I'm starving. I've been successful before on gimick-y things (and for me, low-carb was a fad diet), but I've never been able to sustain it for more than 6mos. At that point, once I left the diet behind, all of the weight went back on super quick. In the end, there is no one perfect diet. The *best* diet is always the one you can stick with for the rest of your life. This is a whole lot slower than the time I lost 40lbs in 6mos, but I not only can maintain the weight I've lost, I can keep going. I've lost more in 8mos of year #2 than I did in year #1. I'm just shy of halfway to my goal and just keep plugging away. :D

I wouldn't necessarily be ok with that either. I don't find that acceptable behavior for my kids either. I expect that they maintain calm and use gentle words. I expect that they'll mess up just like I do, but they need use their social skills to deal with conflict in their lives. Again, with NT children.

Well, I can only answer from the perspective of a NT child because that's my only frame of reference. I would definitely be sad and frustrated if my child did that. First, because it's expensive and I'd have a hard time replacing it. And secondly because I would (obviously) not want them to destroy other people's property. That being said, no, I don't think getting angry enough to blow my top and yell at the child is going to address the issue. It's not going to teach my child a lesson aside from maybe that mom's unpredictable, scary, and unsafe. For a NT child, I'd have to stop and breath for a bit. I'd maybe even need to take a time out (because this isn't something that requires an immediate response) after I made sure that the child was in a safe place (and had limited access to destroy more property). Then we'd have to talk about how them destroying something of mine made me feel, encourage them to empathize with another person (me) and imagine how it might make them feel. We'd talk about making things right (restitution). Above all, I would remember in the future that I need to be careful what is in this child's reach at least until they can be trusted otherwise. I might also reconsider leaving the child unsupervised until I could trust that they wouldn't destroy things. I suspect all of the above is more challenging with a non-NT child. I'll have to defer to those who have experience with ASD children as to what would be most appropriate. I can't imagine, though, that yelling at an ASD child is any more effective than it is with a NT child. No, I would not be ok with a friend hollering up a storm at my child. If I wasn't there, I would expect that if they couldn't handle it without yelling, that they would call me so that I could help mediate and provide restitution.

So dress appropriately and wear Deep Woods Off ala the CDC - http://www.cdc.gov/ticks/avoid/on_people.html

W7D2 is done. I made it the whole 25 mins without walking- the last 5mins were pretty tough, though.. Between the warm up/cool down plus the walking I went 2.44mi which is my longest distance yet. It's pretty cool.

My tipping point was a third, unplanned pregnancy. Honestly, two children was probably my actual limit of what I could handle with the emotional and mental resources I had available. The stress (and probably depression) of coping with an unwanted pregnancy took me a very long time to get over. Step one was getting premanent birth control to limit family size and eliminate that worry from the equation. It wasn't nearly enough, though. I think if I had found better coping skills then I could have probably skipped the next thing I did, but hindsight, eh? Then, as a way to free up more mental/emotional resources for me and help me reset things, I put my kids in public school for a year. I didn't volunteer. I didn't participate in a bunch of school activities. I focused on a bunch of stuff *I* liked to do and left the educating to someone else. It wasn't even all that bad, but I didn't have enough of anything to go around and I knew it would get worse if I didn't do something to change it. We homeschooled again the following year and it went much better than it had before. I felt like a new person and had more of me to go around. Then it became a matter of maintaining my balance. One of my kids had problems dealing with his anger so a lot of what I do to deal with the yelling issue works to help him deal with his anger in a more productive fashion because both really are an anger issue. We - *Get regular physical activity. Dh and I run. The kids ride bikes, swing, jump on a trampoline, play soccer, etc. *Have an anger thermometer on the wall in the dining room. We check in periodically with "What number are you right now?" followed by "How can I help?" *Established "We use gentle touches and gentle words on ourselves and others" as the family rule and talk about that. A lot. Anyone in the family can remind another family member of this rule. *Identified triggers so we can be mindful of the things that really get to us. I know my kids better now and knowing that helps me better anticipate and deal with things that pop up in our day. I can also identify how I'm feeling before I reach my limit and do something to change that before I reach the "need to let off steam" stage. *Got a hobby (quilting) and joined the local guild for that hobby. My mom and I joined together. Once a month I go somewhere without my kids and hang out with my mom and a bunch of other people who also happen to quilt. This hasn't happened as much lately, though, because of childcare issues. *Got up off my a** a lot sooner to deal with things before they got to the "out of hand" stage. Worked with the kids on learning how to mediate their conflicts. We talk through a bunch more stuff. It takes longer than me just yelling at them to "knock it off," but they bicker less and have started doing some of that on their own. This helps control the general volume in the house which in turn helps me and cuts down on my triggers (see above). *Learned to let go. Messes happen and as much as I hate cleaning them up, yelling at my kids because of that stress doesn't really stop messes from happening. Similarly, kids sometimes break things. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes by accident and yelling doesn't really address any of those things. So for the second, I learned to say, "accidents happen" and figure out if I could fix it (because money is tight and I can't replace everything). For the first, we talk about consequences and using our brains to think things through before acting which may also include restitution. *Breathing, parental timeout, waiting to respond (not everything requires an immediate response), counting to 10 (or 100), mindfulness, anger/frustration/disappointment narration *Randomly say "potato" when things are threatening to boil over. It started as a key phrase we could say to help diffuse what was going on with one of my kids. Now everyone says it if another family member is reaching the boiling point. It's funny. We laugh. It gives the person in question a chance to flip on that rational part of the brain that gets shut down. *Changing things up. Leaving the house and going somewhere (the park, the library, bowling, swimming, etc). Eating a cheap meal out so I don't have to do dishes or think about meal prep. Staying home, but not doing whatever it was we were doing. Let's watch a movie. You kids go play with Legos in the basement. Mandatory recess (you kids go play outside). Let's have popcorn and smoothies for dinner. *Changing my expectations. What's developmentally appropriate in this situation? And even if it's developmentally appropriate, does my kid have the skills/tools for that? Am I expecting too much of this child at this time? Above all, I remind myself (often) that everyone (including myself), wants to do well and will do better provided that they have the tools and support to enable them to do so. Knowing that, what can I do to help make that possible? It's not perfect. I'm a work in progress that still messes up. I don't have to feel guilty about that. I remind myself of this often.

Then, gently, maybe you need other supports in place to help you be more successful at what you've already indicated is something you were working on. You've got a lot on your plate. Maybe that means you need more help? A mother's helper? Someone who can come in and help with other things around the house so you have less you are responsible for. For some families this might mean limiting family size (for both physical and mental health) - that was one of mine. For some families it might mean putting the kids in public school for a season - did that, too. For others it might mean medication to address underlying health issues (physical or mental). More co-op? More sharing the load with another homeschooling family? Key words or phrases family members can say to help trigger the rational bit in your brain that gets overwhelmed in the moment. Therapy. CBT. Meditation. Yoga. Mindfulness. I don't think there's any one right solution and it's going to vary from family to family and person to person. I don't think however, that anyone needs to "suck" at parenting while others are perfect if they avoid x, y, or z. I think we can set aside certain parenting practices as less than ideal without anyone needing to feel less than. We all do less than the ideal when we're hurt, sick, overhwelmed, stressed, or otherwise out of our element. When we know better and have the tools and supports we need, we do better. It's not instantaneous, but change is possible.

All of the above, plus, even though the kids might be sad, the adults in the house who can follow the training guidelines are the ones responsible for supervising the dog. So if mom (or another responsible adult) is not home, the puppy stays in the crate. Both the puppy and the kids will get over it. There will be plenty of time for them to hang out together once the training issue is under control.

There was no golden age when tough men went off to war, killed a bunch of people, and came home unfazed and lived their life as it was before. Nope. We just talk about it more. We also called it different things - shell shock, soldier's heart, combat fatigue. They even recognized similar effects amongst Civil War soldiers and a lot of them would have lived on a farm, had family members die of illness, etc. So, were Civil War soldiers too sheltered? We also used to shoot soldiers who were so traumatized by their experience that they couldn't go back out to fight again. Should we go back to that? The Toronto Star has a good article tracing the route from earlier terms (shell shock, soldier's heart, combat fatigue) to PTSD just as a start - http://t.thestar.com/#/article/news/insight/2015/03/07/solving-the-riddle-of-soldiers-heart-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd.html Not yelling at my children does not mean that they never face criticsm. It does not mean that they don't face hard things. Thinking that people just need to toughen up excuses poor social skills and bad behavior. So instead of expecting the yeller to change, we expect everyone else to accomodate them? It's just shifting the responsibility from one person (often the one who is in power) to the yell-ee (the one who isn't yelling). "Stop making me yell at you! Toughen up and deal with it!" That's absurd. People do better when they know better and when they have the support necessary to do better. I'd much rather live in a world where the yeller gets help to develop better social skills, a more diverse tool box, mental/emotional/medical support to adress underlying issues, etc. than a world that tells the person being yelled at to "get over it." And, I think we can do all that and help people develop the social skills necessary to deal with those who lack proper socialization. I think there's a huge difference between "I think kids *need* to be yelled at" and "I yell too much and I'm working on changing that." I don't think the second group should lump themselves in with the first group nor feel that criticism directed at the first group needs to be felt personally by them.

Because what you listed would be the road to constant nauseau for me...even six months in. A diet of fat, meat, cheese, and a side of green and yellow vegetables would be very sad for me. I'll take my beans, grains, starches, and fruit any day. So, yes, you're right, YMMV. And also, because the "keto" diet that's in vogue with low-carb dieters and the ketogenic diet for epilepsy are two different things.

The BBQ Bean Burrito is a favorite around here, but since my girls are spice phobic, I usually sub my favorite BBQ sauce for the one in the recipe. Since I make the brown rice in my InstantPot, it really is a quick and easy kind of meal.

W7D1 is done. Went with my dh and the kids. Love going with dh, would like to leave the kids at home. :D

Well, I don't like being yelled at. It doesn't inspire me to work harder, change what I'm doing, or make myself better. So, I think it's a safe bet that the same is true for my kids. That being said, everyone yells at one time or another. If they're angry or stressed or hungry or frustrated. If I yell it's because I don't feel like I'm being heard. I get heard that way, sure, but it's not especially productive.

It sounds like you did great! Just remember that it's a learning process and requires some degree of trial and error. Another really good idea is to find a salon and hair stylist who is familiar with curly girls. They can recommend products and help teach you and your daughter how best to care for her hair. Not all of them will be familiar with how to handle curly hair so call around first. If your dd hasn't had a cut in awhile, now's a good time to go in for a trim. Healthy ends helps, we've found.

Half of a bottle of Aussie 5-Minute Miracle Moist left in for 20 minutes really did the trick. I'll have to figure something out for when she goes along next year to prevent the issue. :)

There's silicone in the detangling spray that will make things counter productive down the line. It will build up and start to make the hair sticky. Usually, if her hair is braided at night, there really isn't anything to be done the next day except maybe taking the braid out and finger combing it real quick. Two braids tend to come out less than one big braid. I just do plain braids, too, from the base of the neck out. We don't use a brush because that makes my dd's hair ridiculously frizzy. If you'd like to do something then, I'd spritz it with my conditioner/water spray, use a wide toothed comb, and braid it back up. Dd will get tangles around her neck in her hair, but ime it's more of a maintenance thing and far easier to stay on top off. When dd combs her own hair, she's lucky if she combs any more than the top layer. It really does go best, and take less time, if I stay on top of it myself.

If you have Amazon Prime and a mobile device, the Amazon music app will let you download music onto your device for offline listening. Just make sure to shut cellular data off to the app if it's a cellphone because even if you listen to your offline library, the app still uses data. They have lots of running/workout playlists and that's often what I listen to. The app will also play in the background so if you use a running app, you can run that one on top. Amazon music will also let you create your own playlists both from their pretty large catalog and from your own library of music. At least one of the running playlists on Amazon is a tempo run and I'm fairly certain most of those songs are in the 180BPM range. I think Spotify will also let you download playlists for offline listening. I've seen a few Spotify running playlists out there (especially on the Women's Running Magazine website).

Wash less. More conditioner. There are lots of different products, but that's the general rule. Most people will recommend that whatever products you choose, they should be sulfate free. I also do not use detangling spray. At least not that is labeled as such. You can make your own detangling spray out of a tbsp of conditioner or so and some water in a spray bottle. Also, as KungfuPanda mentioned in the other thread, braids are really best until the child is old enough to be able to manage it all on her own. Braids at night are key. We do one braid down the center, but others would say two are best. Most of the time with dd, we "cowash" - basically get her hair wet, apply conditioner, comb through with wide tooth comb, rinse most of the way out, and squeeze dry. We don't use a brush. I'll run a wide tooth comb through her hair after we squeeze it dry. As long as she's home and I'm involved, we can avoid most messes. If someone else is responsible for her hair, or if she is, then all bets are off. The Aussie 5-Minute Miracle Moist saved us tonight. If it's really bad, rub liberal amounts in the big tangles, separating them as best as you can, and rub more in. Put a shower cap on and let sit 20 minutes and then comb out. She was stil pretty tangled before that point and I thought we'd be there all night. That hefty bit of heavy duty conditioner (probably half the bottle) plus time really did the trick.

*sigh*. Yeah, that's what I thought. That's also the part of my instructions that were ignored. Next time I think I'll try written directions and send her braided. I can imagine fine curly hair would be tricky! We've made some progress in the bottom half of her hair. The top half is tangle free. I'll just keep on with the conditioner and the comb in front of the TV. I'm at least more confident that we're headed in the right direction. Thanks all!

My curly girl went camping with my mom and came back with matted hair. I thought I had sent really good instructions with them, but obviously not. So, I've put an incredible amount of conditioner on her hair and slapped a shower cap on it while I figure out what next. Aside from trying to very slowly, in small sections, working a wide toothed comb through the tangles, is there anything else I can do? Maybe rinse conditioner and reapply? Should I get a different conditioner? I have the Paul Mitchell Detangler conditioner which works for our standard tangles and snarls...but this ain't standard. I think this could take all night so I'm game to send dh to buy anything at this point. Super magical unknotting potion? I'm only slightly kidding.

YNAB = You Need a Budget - https://www.youneedabudget.com