Even electronic locks often have mechanical keys, too. Loverboy's last apartment before moving in with me had mechanical locks AND a keypad at the front door of the building. He went outside (without his key) to watch a tornado go by. (Yeah, it's Iowa). The tornado knocked out the power for that end of town, and he couldn't get back into the building because he didn't have his mechanical key! :laugh:

My list for avoiding "educational neglect" is really short. IMO, there is a really barebones level of education that ALL children need. Oh, yes, I believe that "more is better" when it comes to education and expectations, but at it's most basic level: 1) All children must learn to read (if intellectually able). If you can't read, it is extremely difficult to learn in any other category. If you can't read, even finding a restroom in an unfamiliar place is a challenge that is heartbreaking to those of us who take our reading skills for granted. Yes, math is important, too, but if one learns to read, one can learn math at a later time if one really needs to. Downsides of not learning math: a) Math is learned in a series, building, year after year. If you don't learn your basic math facts until age 14, at what age will you learn fractions? algebra? mutivariable calculus? Possible, but not probable. b ) If you don't learn math, there are whole categories of jobs you can't take. "Math is the language of Science," so no higher level science. No accounting. No engineering. Even being a cashier requires math skills. But you could be an artist, a writer, a translator, or a low-level construction worker. c) you are at risk for being exploited financially. Yeah, with Duckens, it always comes down to money. It is the lens through which she sees the world. 2) Do you have a plan? This means that there is continued educational improvement. You don't stop once your kids can read Frog and Toad fluently. Even for unschooling families, this may be, "Encourage our children in their personal interests through library trips, museum trips, online information, and outside mentors." If your child is interested in Ancient Egypt, you get them the supplies to mummify a chicken. Or unschooling families may just say, "Before 2pm, work on yer stuff!" This implies that Phineas and Ferb videos will not be watched at this time. But it is a plan. If these two requirements are met, then I don't want to pass judgment on someone else's homeschool. I may not agree with their system. I know I am at the other end of the spectrum of over-scheduling my children. But to me, this is the bare-bones minimum.

Do you have a friend in your local area who uses a pressure cooker with which to cook? If you FB, put a question out on FB and see if you can watch him/her cook using the pressure cooker at least once. I've done this for 2-3 friends. Once they see how easy it is, they are much more confident with the pressure cooker.

We love love love love love our pressure cooker. We bought it after I had an Indian friend explain how easy it was to do beans in it. 1) Read the directions that come with the pressure cooker. Loverboy and I slogged through them as a bedtime story. We were at the point when our children were still young enough that we could read adult stuff aloud to each other. 2) Things we have had good experience with cooking in the pressure cooker: --beans (usually chickpeas for hummus, but all kinds of beans have been cooked) --grains (steel-cut oats that I then freeze in individual servings for "instant oatmeal" in the morning) --squash (it just cooks faster) --pumpkin (every autumn we process 3-6 cooking pumpkins and freeze the pulp for pumpkin recipes) 3) Things we have not had good experience with cooking in the pressure cooker: --meat (the roast tasted washed out). 4) Recipes 4a) Hummus: (none of this is premeasured) Chickpeas olive oil lemon juice garlic salt (preferably sea salt) variation: add dry ranch dressing for ranch hummus; watch the salt in this case variation: add curry powder for curry hummus variation: add onions and extra garlic for garlic/onion hummus 4b) Pumpkin muffins 2c (or 1 can) of pumpkin 1 yellow cake mix 1c mini chocolate chips Bake in greased mini-muffin pan until done. Probably at ~300dF. 4c) Pumpkin dessert recipe like this one. 4d) Pumpkin tomato soup I'm too tired to type in the recipe tonight. If anyone wants it, PM me, and I'll type it in another day.

You're right, I totally made that up to scare her. Totally. That's what I do, spread misinformation and lies. *sprinkle* It could also be that you only heard one side of the story: the friend's side, whom you love and respect.

I'm really not sure how you figure that because CPS is really, really personal; but in my part of the world I'd call CPS and that's as someone with an unsubstantiated open case against her so I'm not living in a naive bubble. In the OP's part of the world, I wouldn't because there are other people like truancy officers to try first. I really, really, really wouldn't call CPS unless there was no one else. The truth is that I had not planned to post. I had thought that I erased my post, but it posted instead. "IT'S NOT PERSONAL" started out to say that CPS has a set of rules they have to follow. Many, many, many rules to follow. They can't just take your kids because they don't like you. They also can't leave your kids with you if they like the banana bread you served them. CPS sees many, many families every year. They should have a good judgment of what level of worry they should have on a case. Anybody here ever had a 2yo do a wipeout and get a black eye a day before going for a well-child check-up? Yep. Happens all the time. And doctors are mandatory reporters. But our doctor know that our child is not underweight. She has regular checkups. She is current on vaccinations. There is a record of us calling First Nurse or the doctor's office whenever we have concern. Our child is washed and clean and interacts well. Should the doctor be concerned? The truth is that he sees hundreds of children a year, and he knows what level of worry to assign to our kids. CPS also sees hundreds of children each year. They make judgments of whether children are in imminent danger. Are children taken mistakenly? Sometimes. Is a shark likely to kill you? Sometimes. But usually not. CPS also has the ability to get the whole story, and make a judgment with that information. The OP does not. Neither do I. Neither do you. None of us do.

I'm looking and looking for your friend's situation in the news. All I can find are tragic New Jersey stories of children being starved or injured or dying in homeschooling situations (on secular sites). It must be out there somewhere. What am I missing? You would think that the media would be all over a story like that: wronged homeschooling mother of 10! Children returned to homeschooling parents! I must be doing the wrong search in Google. Was this the same lawyer that was making a lot of money for holding this opinion and reassuring his well-paying clients that they were wronged? Just wondering.

I have been using the Chinese Rosetta Stone. Pros: --It is a nice supplement to the local Chinese Language Class I am taking with my daughter. --It has helped with my vocabulary and my use of some basic phrases. --We got it for a good price through Homeschool Buyers' Coop. Don't be in a hurry to buy. They have new specials all the time for Rosetta. Cons: --It does not teach grammar. Thank goodness I have our Chinese teacher to help make sense of this! --I needed my Chinese Language partner through My Language Exchange to help me translate some of the most basic sentences at the beginning. --Many colleges do not count Rosetta Stone as "one year of a foreign language" because RS does not teach grammar. 1) Talk to your local community college or university admissions office for what their standards are. 2) Talk to your local high school language teachers of what program they would recommend for a student that may attend high school and take the language. This doesn't mean your son will go to high school, but it will be compatible with what his peers will be learning, and he can slip into the foreign language high school classes if your family goes that direction. 3) How old is your son? (You don't have to answer here). I have a few resources for really young children (early elementary or younger). 4) Do a search of the boards of Russian language resources. See what other programs are out there besides RS. RS is well publicized. That doesn't mean that it is the best choice for your son. 5) Does the Russian RS use the Cyrillic alphabet to teach you or does it use phonetic English? There may be a steep learning curve if it's the Cyrillic alphabet. The Chinese course uses Pinyan (Chinese written in "almost phonetic" English and with marks for the tones).

1) Do NOT discuss this directly with the mother. You have been beating around the bush with this parent for up to two years, and she has not been able to get herself together enough to teach her kids. What do you think the result will be if you talk with her? Have any of your discussions with her in the past two years made any difference? If you confront her, will she magically say, "You're so right! I'll start teaching them today!!!!" You will lose her as a friend, and you will lose the window into their lives to advocate for the children. You have obviously been troubled by this situation for quite awhile. And you are troubled enough by this to post on the Hive. 2) Call CPS. I would be shocked if the kids were taken from their parents over this. We are not living in the 1980s anymore. Homeschooling is mainstream and generally has a positive reputation. In situation when children are taken for "educational neglect" these days, there are usually other things going on. Just watch the coverage and read the comments on secular websites in these cases. The advantage of calling CPS is that IT IS NOT PERSONAL.

If you want to read a "classic," simultaneously read the Cliff Notes. For some classics I have read, reading the "summary" is the only thing that helped me to trudge through the original text and understand what is going on. There is the added advantage that Cliff also discusses symbols, has literary analysis, background of the time period, and an author's biography (which often explains motivation for the book). If we are still homeschooling in high school, we will use Cliff's Notes as our lit program. There are dozens and dozens of titles for dd to choose from, and we can read the book and Cliff's together as discussion. By the time anything makes it on the Cliff's list, it is considered either a classic or wildly popular literature that has influenced our culture (like Harry Potter). Imagine reading even 3 books/year with your high schooler. You will have read 12 by the end of high school. So, again, you can do this WITH your kids and learn WITH your kids. ----------------------------------------------- Folger Shakespeare Library is the ONLY way that I can do Shakespeare. Consider it to be Cliff's Notes for Shakespeare. There is a summary (in 20th Century English) for every scene and every act. Knowing what is going on is half the battle. Text is on the right page; vocabulary translation of unusual words/phrases are on the left page. Several years ago, I loaned my Folger copy of Hamlet to a friend's daughter. The daughter had been dreading and struggling with Hamlet in class. After borrowing my Folger copy, her mom reported back that her daughter had said that it was, "One of the best things she had every read!" I would wish this for you, chefwife8. Imagine tackling one Shakespeare play each year of high school with your kids. That would give you (and your kids) 4 plays. So, again, you can learn with your kids. ----------------------------------------------- There are also many versions of Shakespeare for kids these days. We like the Usborne Shakespeare, but there are many choices for kids. See what your library has, and your librarian should be able to help you. Once again, you can learn WITH your kids. Do some searches for opera or ballet storylines for kids, too.

I'm glad you're aware of your child's abilities, but it's hard to tell what direction a child will go when they are so young. 1) Colors? Dd7 wasn't even talking at age 2! The standard is 5 words by age 1. She had 4 by age 2. And yet at age 7, she is a regular Word Girl who dabbles in several languages. 2) Your child just may not care. Dd had one little friend at preschool who had no interested in learning his letters and sounds and to read. He just had no interest. Of course, in his free time, he was counting to 1000 (at age 4.5) and he had a financial maturity (no impulse buying, saving sincerely) of a child many years older, but words held no interest for him at this time. Try teaching him with M&Ms. See if he can identify the colors then!

PBS. Lots and lots of PBS. History. Science. Travel programs (geography, world awareness). Even the dramas (Masterpiece Theater, Call the Midwife, Bletchley Circle, Sherlock Homes, etc). They often cover books-made-into-movies (so you can follow the storyline) or a historical time period. **Some of this you can watch and discuss WITH your children. Dd7 has been watching Nova and Nature (science programs) with me for years. It starts with, "Look at the giraffe!" and now she can comprehend some pretty complex concepts about "sprites" (rare and unusual lightning in the upper atmosphere). If I come across a travel show of a country we have studied for geography, I save it for her on the DVR, and we watch it together. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Be unafraid of the "Juvenile Nonfiction" section of the library. When you want to research something I feel overwhelmed about, I often start in this part of the library. I can find an easy chapter book written on the level of a 12yo as an introduction for my subject of choice. I usually read this independently, but occasionally read together with dd7.

Depending on the school there may not actually be empty classrooms for the simple fact that they're always locked. At the local U they keep the classrooms locked when not in use and even when there is class going on the teachers/profs will only leave the door propped open a few minutes at the beginning (and end) of class then close it, at which point the door will lock. Doors aren't left in an unlocked position at that school. A good point...which is why you befriend the janitor. He/She has the "keys to the kingdom." Even the department chair doesn't have that much power.

1) Ask about a study room. You may (or may not) be taking it from a study group, but the 30 students studying on their own will thank you. Do you need to "check out" the study room? Some of the college libraries do not lock their study room doors. You pick an unoccupied room, and if someone comes in and says, "We have the room reserved for the next hour," then you graciously vacate it. Talk to the librarian and see if there is any reasonable agreement you can come to (where if a student group needs the room, they can kick you out). 2) Find a student lounge. If it is a university, there should be one in nearly every building. Be unafraid to look for student lounges on different floors (one building has a lounge on EVERY floor). The upper floors would, of course, have less traffic/use). My children are regularly (more than 2x/week) on campus and interacting with students in passing. We have never had any issues with videos, adult discussions, or other "inappropriate" behavior. Our students aren't perfect, but the ones we have interacted with are pretty fabulous! 3) Look for a smaller branch library on your campus. Our local university is at peak student population of 34K students. We have the main library, but I have also used the STEM library (hidden upstairs between Chem and Physics buildings) for studying, and the Biochem/Biophysics Reading Room (one room with two big tables in it and a bunch of periodicals) to study. I know there is a Reading Room in the Journalism building, too. There have got to be other study rooms sprinkled around campus. Be brave and be gracious when looking into nooks and crannies. 4) Find an empty classroom. Some times of day, this is easier than others. Midday -- not likely. After 3pm...totally possible. 5) At least one of the churches across the street from the university has a student lounge that is "open to the public" (as long as you aren't tearing up the place). We study there when dd3 is in preschool in the same building. Midmorning, all the students are in class, so we have the run of the place. One student did come in and take a catnap on the couch this morning, but he's the only one we've seen. The church community have opened their arms to us (pastors, members, employees) and made us feel very welcome. 6) Befriend the janitors. If there is an empty study space to be found, this is the person who will know about it. Humbly and earnestly explain your situation. If there is someone else besides the janitor you need to talk to about it, this is the person who can tell you where to find that person. This is the person with keys to locked classrooms and knowledge of what is possible. The ones I have dealt with are more decent than the average person you meet and will bend over backward to help you. And remember: You are out very little to ask questions. You can ASK anything. This doesn't mean you are entitled, but you can ASK.

4) I have one friend who doesn't have a given middle name, so her maiden name became her middle name. Her maiden name is Smart. So now she can literally say, "Smart is my middle name!!!" 5) I also nannied for a Jewish family. They named new babies as a variation on a recently deceased relative. Since Jews have been chased and persecuted all across Europe for the past 1500 years, this was a loose way to keep family records. Example (not real names): When Grandma Elaine died, the next baby girl was named Genevieve Elaina. This is helpful for genealogy, and little Genevieve had a special place in Grandpa's heart compared to the other grandkids because she was named after his beloved Elaine.

I haven't read the other responses. Not in my family, but: 1) I have a friend for whom the firstborn son always switched first and middle names with the father. So if my friend was named, "John Lewis Smith"..... His father was named, "Lewis John Smith"..... And his grandfather was named, "John Lewis Smith"..... And his great grandfather was named, "Lewis John Smith"..... going back forever. He was Lebanese Maronite Christian, so imagine the names as Arabic names. I don't know if this is a traditional Lebanese, Arabic, Middle Eastern, or Maronite Christian tradition. Or just his family. 2) I nannied for a Chinese-American family for two years that explained this to me: Some Chinese children of the same generation will all share the same middle name. Somewhere there is a literal and prescribed list of what this generation's middle name will be (for your family). So your grandma and all of her siblings will have the same middle name. You dad and your aunts and uncles will all have the next name on the list as their middle name. You, your siblings, and your first cousins will all have the second name on the list as their middle name. All of your children, nieces, nephews, and the children of your first cousins will have the third name on the list as their middle name. Imagine running into someone with your same last name, and you could trace how you are related to that person by their middle name! 3) Our new family tradition: Loverboy and I are not married. And I am a feminist. Does my name not count for my children? And yet hyphenation can be awkward. Disclaimer: I acknowledge that hyphenation is the best choice for many families. My daughters have my last name as a second middle name. Example (no real names have been listed): Dad's name: John Smith Mom's name: Jane Jones Child #1: Emma Jill Jones Smith, aka Emma Smith Child #2: Anna Julia Jones Smith, aka Anna Smith Four generations from now, imagine how easy genealogy will be? My maiden name will be listed on all of my daughters' legal documents throughout their life.

I wish you were my gym teacher, Farrar. :001_wub: Let's just say: Gym is one of the many, many, many reasons that I now homeschool my own kids.

1) Who would want to wreck a beautiful cliff? 2) Would it be a vacation home you would rent for a week? 3) Wanna bet we'll see this home in an action film within the next 5-10 years? Of course, that will be just before it falls into the ocean.

"THOU SHALT NOT compare thyself to other homeschoolers." I'm not sure if it's an official homeschool commandment, but it should be. Your job is to educate your daughter(s) in the best way you can. If that takes 3 hours a day for some people, then good for them. If that takes 6-7 hours/day for you, then good for you. If it takes 24 hours/day, then that is what it takes. ----------------------------------------------------- There may be a difference in what specific curriculum you choose, too. A curriculum with just reading is not the same as one that asks open ended, multi-step questions that must be answered (written) in full sentences.

We pay for a lot of lessons. I am not naturally athletic, and I come from a long line of short, round, German women. I also have "public school gym trauma." I am hoping that my girls will have several sports they enjoy when they are adults. They don't need to be the star of the team, but I hope that if someone invites them to go [fill in the blank], they will say, "Sure! let me get my tennis racket!" or "Sure! Let me get my swim suit!" or "Sure! Let me get my hiking boots!" Within the last year (but not all at the same time): Swim & Gym (2x/week) Taekwondo (2X/week) Gymnastics (1-2X/week) Swim Lessons Golf Lessons Tennis Lessons Zumba Nature Camp (lots of hiking) Not organized: Swim in the pool in summer Play at the playground Dad takes the kids for a walk up to the pond to play (a block away) EVERY NIGHT when the weather is good. Dad takes the kids out in the yard to play (when the weather is not as good). Family bike rides Family weekend walks at parks or nature reserves

Could you buy #3 and build on to it within 5 years? It would be expensive, because building on would probably involve hiring an architect, but someone on the hive has probably done this before. However, #3 would be a lower mortgage, so you may have some extra funds with which to work. Get all the information about "building on" before you purchase. You don't want to buy a house and find out that there are zoning rules that would stop you from doing what you needed.

I've heard from people who have been married far longer than I have been that "When you are married that long, you don't just have good and bad years; you have good and bad decades." I hope that you and your husband are able to find your way through this. I believe that it CAN be better when you get through this. It may be different; it will probably not be perfect; but it will be better. :grouphug:

Dd is 7 and is beginning 2nd grade. 1) Whenever we read chapter books (Captain Underpants, Little House, and currently a book about Wild Magic), at the end of each chapter I try to ask dd7 to tell me two things that happened in that chapter. Sometimes I also ask her to relay two things to me periodically as we read history lesson. To keep dd engaged, we "share" reading by alternating paragraphs. Sometimes this is every other paragraph. Sometimes dd reads one paragraph/page, and I read the rest. It depends upon the level of book. 2) IEW's PAL Writing Program walked me through it very gently. Mostly this is from Part 3 of PAL Writing. It uses a Story Sequence Chart with many questions, but in a nutshell: --Who are/is the Main Character(s)? Describe them (tall, short, blond, brunette, funny, serious, etc). --What is the Setting? --What is the problem or surprise? --How is it resolved? --What is the Clincher Sentence? (ending sentence) You could purchase the book, the system, look for a copy used, or borrow it from a friend to read Part 3. IEW also has an awesome return policy of if you purchase from them (their website or at a convention), you can return it at any time, for a full refund if you don't feel that it will work for your family. 3) I've heard good things about Teaching the Classics, which may or may not apply in this situation. You can do a search for TTC or Teaching the Classics Threads to research if TTC will be helpful to you.

The good: Dd3 has started preschool MWF mornings. She gets to play with friends, paint, and make snack. Dd7 and I work in the church building where the preschool is held. There are fewer distractions, and we don't lose the time we would used for travel to go home and come back. They have a comfy "student lounge" that is open to the public. I had thought we would work on Math and Phonics at this time, but instead we wisely use the time for "mom-intensive" subjects of piano and Chinese. The marvelous (piano playing) janitor at the church surreptitiously directed us to a piano in the basement we can use for practice.* We still have time for math afterwards. *Another win for the policy of "You are out very little to ask." The bad: I lost the Phonics TM for dd7 and the Math TM for when younger dd turns 4. I know I had them in the spring, as I reviewed them and made tentative plans for this fall. I've cleaned out all the boxes in the garage and all the boxes in the storage room, as well as general looking all over the house. I don't know where else it could be. Loverboy has been great through this, and we finally ordered replacements, so now the originals will surely show up!

Academically: For the most part, I had excellent teachers who were superior in their knowledge of their subject matter and their ability to challenge and teach students what they needed to know. I really feel as if I received a private school education from the local public school system. Socially: I lived in a perfect storm of: 1) Intense bullying from select students; subtle bullying from a bigger group that was systematically approved and encouraged by what was considered acceptable class situations. 2) Depression, thoughts of suicide, and active self-harm (sometimes daily cutting), running away from school to sit in the woods and read my textbooks. 3) Parents that thought that #1 and #2 had nothing to do with them. Parents who didn't care if I went to bed cold (not enough blankets in winter in a wood-burning house) and didn't care if I went without eating for 2 of the 3 daily meals. Parents who told me that it was my fault when I was physically harmed (black eyes, broken tooth, etc). Our relationship has never recovered, and I don't think it ever will. I did graduate, but only because of a fluke. I was so advanced early in high school that even though I missed the last 1.5 years of high school, I only had one required class to meet graduation requirements. They gave me a textbook and let me read it at home. The school said I needed a school teacher to sign off as my "tutor," so my boss at the ice cream store (a former teacher) agreed to do so in exchange for working for free. I worked every afternoon for free, so she got free labor and she didn't have to pay taxes for me or anything. In exchange, I got NOTHING from her. Yet another situation where my parents didn't care that their child was exploited. (I kept my part of the bargain; my boss did not keep hers). I took a test at the end of the year, got a D, or maybe an F, and graduated. If I had it to do over, I would have gotten my GED and gotten the heck out of my school and home situation. It surely couldn't have been any worse or more damaging than staying there.