My 15 1/2 year old dd has been having a rough time of it lately. Our relationship has also been suffering. My dh thought it would be a good idea to have a little one on one time together. I had wanted to take her overnight for dinner and theater but it would cost too much. I was trying to figure out something besides just dinner and shopping any ideas?

She has been going to a pediatric neuroophthamologist since she was 7. She originally had severe migraines quite often. (Thankfully now she only gets them once in awhile) This doctor just evaluated her for Marfan syndrome a few months ago but since dd's vision has worsened over the past few days, it really has me concerned.

My 15 year old dd has been in glasses or contacts since she was 7. Her vision isn't horrible but has gradually gotten worse over the years. Yesterday she noticed that things were blurry. Then she realized it was just one eye. Today she still has the problem and it is quite noticable. She wears contacts and even put in a new pair last night just to make sure that wasn't the problem. I'm concerned because it seems to be so sudden and also because we are still trying to pinpoint what connective tissue disorder that she has. I called the doctor and made an appointment for tomorrow. I am taking her out of school for the appointment. Now I am second guessing myself and I'm wondering if I'm being too cautious.

I don't think he would have enough room to work out the problems. There are usually 20-30 problems in a lesson.

Many years ago before I met dh I went to a concert with a date and another couple. I wore a miniskirt that had a zipper halfway down and then a tiny slit at the bottom. Apparently when we were getting out of the car the slit caught on something and ripped. Of course I didn't know about it. I thought it was weird because as we were walking up some stairs a bunch of guys were staring at me and smiling. It wasn't until about 1/2 hour into the concert that my date told me what had happened. The other girl that we were with knew the whole time but didn't tell me. Apparently the slit went halfway up and I was flashing my bright pink undies to everyone. To this day I can't figure out why I didn't feel a breeze except for the fact that it was very crowded and hot. People kept on bumping into me anyway so for some reason I didn't feel it. Unfortunately I didn't have anything to sew up the tear but I was wearing a denim jacket and tied that around my waist. My boyfriend and the other couple had the nerve to get mad at me when I didn't want to go out after the concert. Needless to say, that was my last date with him.

Actually these aren't her friends. Maybe it shouldn't be so upsetting to her because of that but it still is. Last fall I got a call from a mom in our subdivision needing a ride for her dd. I agreed because I was trying to be nice. The first semester I drove this girl home from school 2-3 times a week. She offered to drive my dd in the morning but my dd enjoys the ride with her dad every day. It give them some one on one time. At that time they didn't offer to drive dd home from school. After Christmas I received a phone message from a dad needing a ride for his daughter. The other mom also received a call from him. She said that her older daughter could drive the girls home from school a few days a week and that he should call me to see if I could drive the other days. Even though we didn't know this girl I felt like I was put into a situation where I couldn't say no. So since January I've been driving the girls home 2-3 days a week. My dd really didn't know the first girl very well. My dd is a sophomore and she is a freshman and they only have one class together. The got to know each other a little better because of riding to together every day. They got along but I wouldn't call them friends. After the 2nd girl came into the picture (she is also a freshman) the two girls started to complete ignore my dd. I know it seems strange that my dd should care because these aren't even her friends and she has no desire to be friends with one of them but it is still hurtful being excluded. My dd has tried to make other friends at this school but it has been tough. It is a very small school and many kids already have their "groups" since grade school. My dd did make a new friend but she happens to be a foreign exchange student. They get along well and even went to a movie one night. In January a new foreign exchange student started going to the school and eating lunch with my dd and this other girl. The two foreign exchange students have so much in common and became close friends very quickly. They are still nice to my dd but often exclude her. I don't think they are trying to be mean but it is just the way it is. Quite honestly my dd has no time to join clubs, etc. She just had to quit dance last night because it was becoming too much. She has been under an extreme amount of stress due to her schoolwork and some medical issues we have been dealing with. My dd just wishes that the two girls in the car wouldn't constantly talk about their plans and exclude her every day. At the same time it seems almost worthless to mention that she'd like to go because she has no desire to become friends with one of the girls.

Most of you agreed with me that the excluding behavior is inconsiderate but I would appreciate some suggestions about how dd can handle it. 2-3 times a week we drive two of dd's classmates home from school the other days one of the girl's sisters drives them home. Every day the two other girls talk about their plans for the weekend, etc. Yesterday they even started including the older sister and would say things like "the three of us have to go do such and such...". They would completely exclude my dd from the conversation. Quite honestly at this point my dd doesn't even want to hang out with these girls. One of them seemed pretty nice in the beginning but the other one is a bit wild. I think the one girl wants to be more like the "wild one" and for some reason looks up to her. My dd just thinks it is rude and is a bit hurt when they always exclude her but she doesn't know what she can do about it.

The biggest problem right now is that she doesn't have time for the classes. She has had so much homework. If she goes to class she ends up paying for it by having to stay up to 11 or 12 to finish her homework. Right now she also has to go to physical therapy 3 times a week and get ready for a piano recital. Even if she chose to drop piano instead she probably wouldn't be able to go to dance. She already cut down to just 2 days a week this year. Also it is recital season and all of the classes are getting ready for the recital in June. This is for all classes. There is added pressure of not being able to miss a class or she'll be behind on the dance.

It was completely her decision though. She came to me about it. It's hard because she has been dancing for so long and it is part of who she is. Right now the connective tissue disorder (we don't know which one) isn't causing her any pain. (thank goodness). We thought she had Marfan's which most likely she doesn't. She had a genetic test, which came back negative but there are false negatives about 10% of the time. We found out that she had scoliosis while screening for Marfan's so we had to go to an orthopedic surgeon. She was sent to physical therapy a few weeks ago and now they found out that she has problems with her shoulders (they keep on dislocating). Then she had to go to another orthopedic surgeon. He said that he was pretty sure she had a connective tissue disorder but since we were following up with the Marfan clinic next year and have several other followup appointments over the next several months (eye doctor, cardiologist, etc.) that we wouldn't have to worry too much about pinpointing it at this time. He ordered 6 more weeks of physical therapy. I think you may be right though that the stress of dance on her joints, etc. probably isn't the best at this time anyway. Tonight we are just trying to keep upbeat about the whole dance thing (IRL at least. I know I sounded pretty depressed in my post). We are focusing on some of the positives including the fact that she won't have to stay up until 11:00 or so doing homework on those nights she has to go to dance.

My oldest dd (sophomore) has decided that she has to take a break from dance. She has been taking ballet for almost 12 years. She loves it. She has never wished to be in competitions, etc. but up until last year she was able to take dance several times a week and it was her "life". Last year she had to cut back when she started high school because of the work load. The past couple of months have been very stressful for her. Her homework load is incredible and she also has to get ready for a piano recital. She barely ever has time to practice piano. Add to this that she has to have physical therapy 3 times a week for the next 6 weeks. It seems that she has had non stop doctor's appointments for the past 4 months. She has a connective tissue disorder which we have been slowly learning about after numerous doctor's appointments. Her dance recital is in June and the pressure to attend class has been enormous. She has had to miss several classes due to her homework, illness and the weather and it has added to her stress. The bottom line is that she can't do it all so she has decided to stop dance until summer. Even though she plans to, I doubt she will sign up again next fall. I feel so sad because I feel so much has been taken away from her. I wish my dh would let me bring her home again. She is doing well at school and it will prepare her well for college but at what cost.

Happy birthday to him! I can really relate. My ds is turning 10 the end of the month. His older sister is turning 13 one month from today. My oldest dd is turning 16 in July. It is a year for milestones. I wish they were all little again. Where did time go?

My dd's high school starts break on the 14th so we will start then. We will have off for 2 weeks! I'm so excited. We all need a break right now.

I just don't understand why parent wouldn't teach their kids (young and old) that it just isn't polite and hurts feelings.

My dh travels about 300 a week for work. I travel 70 miles a week to bring dd home from school ever day, 60 miles a week for dance, 60 twice a month to visit my parents and 70 miles 1-2 times a month to visit dh parents and then various shopping trips, etc.. I would say between my dh and I we travel about 1800-2000 miles a month. I never realized it was so much.

Is this inconsiderate or am I just over sensitive to this kind of thing. Several times lately my children have been put into a situation where they are with a group of friends who talk about getting together but don't invite my children. For instance the other day my dd was riding home with two other girls from her high school. We car pool and it wasn't my turn to drive. The two other girls were talking all the way home about their plans for the weekend (shopping, movies, etc.) but didn't invite my dd. The following Monday they talked the whole way home about all the fun they had. My dd met a girl who is a foreign exchange student. They seemed to become quick friends (eat lunch together etc.) Second semester another foreign exchange student started eating lunch with them. Since the two girls have so much in common my dd is starting to be left out. They treat my dd nice but now they start to get together outside of school and talk about their plans in front of dd. She feels bad that they never include her. My ds is on a bowling team with 3 other boys. Several times now one of the boys has asked another boy over for a sleepover. I thought it was rude to mention it in front of the other two boys but my ds didn't seem too upset. Today the boy invited the 3rd boy over too without inviting my ds. He even came over to ask his mom who was sitting next to me and I was having a conversation with. Then the other 3 boys exhanged phone numbers and talked about getting together. The other boys seem to like my son and they have a fun time and joke around a lot so I don't know why they don't invite my ds. I could tell that ds was a little hurt. Quite honestly we probably wouldn't have let my ds go on an overnight anyway because we don't know the parents very well and we can tell that their values are different etc. but my ds still feels bad about not being asked. I would also never allow my son to exclude one of the other boys and I was surprised that this other parent would. I have always taught my children to never do this. For instance if they are playing outside with a group of friends and want to invite a specific friend over or to a birthday party they have to call them or talk to them without everyone else being around. I don't think that my kids are necessarily being excluded for a reason but it seems that lately kids aren't being taught that it is rude to discuss plans like this in front of others.

I am trying to plan next year for my dd who will be in 8th grade. She will be going to a private school for freshman year so I'm trying to prepare her as well as possible. I would appreciate any feedback. My goal is to concentrate mostly on areas where I feel that she has weaknesses and also on areas that I feel she will need for high school. I also noticed that when my oldest daughter took the Plan test that they only had english, reading, math and science on it so those are the areas that I think would be most important to concentrate on to be sure that she is on level. She will be doing Lial's Algebra and I'm thinking about possibly having her do a few of the Singapore math books to prepare her for geometry. My oldest dd recalls that many of the things that she learned in Singapore math she is using now in geometry. I'm undecided about science. She will be taking biology as a freshman so I'm not sure what path I want to take for that. This year she has been doing Prentice Hall science explorer but we haven't done many labs. I really dislike labs and dd really likes to read about all different science topics so it has really been more of an interest led study. She really needs to work on her writing skills so I want to focus on that. She has been using Jump In this year with ok results but I am looking for other suggestions. She is ok in grammar and spelling but I'm wondering if we need to continue with an actual spelling curriculum. She isn't the best natural speller and will probably need to use spell check her whole life but any papers she will be doing will be typed. If we dropped these two subjects it will give her more time to focus on other areas. I will do a government/constituation unit with her and finish our American History studies (post civil war) but I don't think we will focus on this area. She will be doing world history freshman year and American History sophomore year again anyway. She is using Rosetta Stone Spanish but has difficulty with the lessons where she actually has to type words or phrases. We will probably continue Rosetta Stone for the vocabulary but I am looking for something that I can supplement to help with the grammar. I have no experience with Spanish so it would have to be something that she could do independently. We will probably continue with Lightning Literature and also some kind of vocabulary book since she isn't especially strong in these areas. Have I missed anything important and does the rest look ok?

oops. I cut and paste a chart and it messed up when I posted it. Here it is again: A+ 100-99 A 98-94 A- 93-92 B+ 91-90 B 89-85 B- 84-83 c+ 82-80 c 79-75 C- 74-72 D 71-70 D 69-65 F 64-0

I'm not sure what grade you are talking about but at my dd's high school the grading scale is like this: A+ 100 - 99 4.3 C+ 82 - 80 2.7 A 98 - 94 4.0 C 79 - 75 2.4 A- 93 - 92 4.0 C- 74 - 72 2.0 B+ 91 - 90 3.7 D+ 71 - 70 1.5 B 89 - 85 3.4 D 69 - 65 1.0 B- 84 - 83 3.0 F 64 - 0 0.0

It is also my email name. I regret that they found the post that upset them. They found it by doing a google seach under the topic they were looking for. They weren't necessarily looking for me but found my post relating to that topic. I didn't say anything awful and I hope I never had but it worries me that now that this particular person found that post that they would continue to read any other posts that I make. I don't plan on saying anything bad but I share things on this board that I don't want this person to read about even if it is just my concerns about homeschooling.

I need to change my board name but I don't want to post about the change. I recently found out that someone had done an online search and found one of my posts. Now that person is very upset with me. I didn't mean any harm but now it has me wondering. I don't necessarily want everyone I know to be able to trace all the messages that I post on here. I love the input that I get this board from homeschooling and non-homeschooling issues. I don't feel that anything I post here is bad but this person is very upset and I don't want it to happen again. The problem is that if I post a message telling everyone that I'm changing my name that if that post is read then my new posts could also be traced. Any suggestions?

My ds (almost 10) rarely cries when he gets hurt or upset but he will cry once in awhile for others. For instance my bil just had to put his dog to sleep and my ds felt very bad for my bil. He cried then and my dh even had tears in his eyes when he had to tell us what happened. It was a very rough time for my bil. For other reasons he had a rough year and that dog was a lifesaver. He cried when his older sister had to go to public high school last year. He will occasionally cry for joy too (for instance this Christmas when he got his first bowling ball that he really, really wanted or last summer when my dh finally got his MBA). He is very much a boyish boy and so is his father but both have their sensitive sides (although for dh it is more rare).

Several years ago friends of ours gave my son a Little Tykes bed after their son grew out of it. At the time I offered to pay for it but they declined. I ended up giving them a gift certificate for a restaurant. At the time I had no idea how expensive those beds are. We have used the bed for about 6 years and now my son is too old for it so we decided to sell it on Ebay. We got a pretty good price for it but now I'm not sure what to do with the money. On one hand we really need the money to pay for the new furniture that we bought for my son's room. On the other hand, I feel that we never paid for the bed so I'm wondering if I should give the money to my friend. Several months back I told her that would probably be getting rid of it or selling it. She said that she didn't want it back or want any money for it. I would feel funny if I offered to give her half because we never paid for it in the first place. Any opinions?

I can understand practicing in park lots, etc. but I don't know how so many kids have experience driving on the road before driver's ed. I can't believe how many parents let their kids drive before they have their permit. I just signed my dd up for driver's ed for the summer and they said that she would't have her permit until the end of the first week of the classroom portion. She has 4 weeks of classroom portion and then they schedule the behind the wheel time separately.

I think if it was a problem with the actual material or dd was not doing well in the class then it would be a different situation. I would expect her to talk to the teacher and get extra help etc. This is not the case because she is currently getting an A+ in the class. I'm trying to find out if she feels dd is doing something wrong or approaching things differently from the rest of the class. I think this is more of a conversation between a parent and teacher or counselor then the student. I think the teacher would more readily tell me how the other students are doing (not names of course) and whether or not she feels my dd is pushing herself too much or if she is taking much longer than the other students. I'm also afraid that it would come across more as complaining if dd approached the teacher. I tried very specifically to ask the teacher for advice rather than tell her she was assigning too much homework. At their school it also seems that the counselor isn't available for help like my counselors were in school. I think she is there to help the kids plan for college but doesn't appear to be willing or able to advise in this situation. By the way, my dd has read and implemented some of the helpful suggestions given on this board but when it comes to something like the term paper and the amount of work due in the next few weeks she can't really control how much time she needs to work on it.

I'm sorry to hear that he had to go though that (you too!). I'm glad that he is ok. My nephew just found out that he is allergic to shellfish at 15! He was out to dinner with his girlfriend and her family. They convinced him to try the fish. He immediately felt flushed and his throat hurt but he didn't want to say anything. Luckily he went right home afterward. By the time he got home he could barely breath. My brother took him to the emergency room and it was pretty serious. Everything turned out ok but now he needs to carry an Epipen with him at all times.