It sounds like I've written him off? Really? I've not written him off at all. He's a great kid. I could list all kinds of great things about him but I wanted advice for this particular area. We've all got weaknesses and strengths. Actually, this aspect of his personality has lots of good things about it--he clearly states his position, he's not a follow the crowd type, he's self directed, he's not overly emotional and keeps his head about him in nearly any situation, and on. But the flip side of that is that he can come across in a way that is going to be off-putting to others. My signature line might not be clear I guess but he's six. I'd like to help him learn to interact/make requests in a less demanding way.

How do I teach a child who is naturally bossy to be polite and stop making demands on people? His personality is ESTJ if that means anything to those who know Myers Briggs types. He was born directive to put it mildly. A snip of ESTJ childhood characteristics from this site: http://www.personality-power-for-everyday-living.com/Parenting-skill-estj.html I really don't think we created this and his sibling is the exact opposite. In play, they naturally want to be the "boss of you" Strong need for people interaction...strong Pre-school and early school the ESTJ can be bossy, domineering, pushy I know I'm not going to change his basic personality drive (nor would I want to do that) but I want to modify the rough edges. We've talked, modeled, talked more, gave consequences, had him rephrase, etc. and nothing sticks for long.

Allergy meds work best when they start before the season and go through the entire season. My son takes quite a while to get back if we miss a dose. Allergy meds don't control all his symptoms though with his worst outdoor allergens. So there is a certain point in the spring and summer seasons when he'll be particularly bad even with meds. I wonder if it's possible the allergen profile shifted on your daughter (here we are moving to grasses from tree pollen I believe) and the new allergen might be harder to control. Time will tell on that. If it's a cold it will subside and if it keeps going you'll know it's allergies instead. My son can tell me the difference--I don't know if your daughter is old enough to tell you if her nose is itchy?

I actually don't think you have to do anything formal for K (great books, cooking together, exploring nature, etc.) is wonderful. FIAR always has great reviews and would be something to check out (I didn't go this direction but considered it). My biggest recommendation is RightStart Math. It's fun and gives such a great foundation for math. Of course at K you could certainly just do lifestyle math for free. But Rightstart is a really good program. We used Handwriting Without Tears for handwriting and I like it--it's a very solid program and fun (especially if you use the extras). For phonics we started with Headsprout. It's got great reviews (homeschool reviews.com) and my kids absolutely love it. I've got some uncertainties with the program (one of my kids was memorizing). We added I See Sam readers and they love those and it's a great curriculum (and cheap). I highly recommend them no matter what else you use (and they could certainly be stand alone..which is what I would do if I could do it over at this point). ABeCDeDarian is a solid program I might have used had I known of it/known how reading was going to play out here. For all the rest we use Heart of Dakota (it's got a lot of Bible so might not be for everyone) and I'm pleased with it--there is lots of variety and hands on activities. That covers our other non-core areas like literature, art, bible, etc. I recently found Karyn Henley's bible curriculum and they are lots of fun if you're looking for anything bible related.

I'm using the same curriculum. I hope that continues for some time--I'd hate to juggle multiple curriculum choices per subject just in terms of prep time and cost. My twins are incredibly different--in personality, learning style and academic needs. So I'm selecting curriculum that fit a wide range of learning types and needs. When we run into issues (one is struggling with phonics for example) I'm picking curriculum based on the one who has the particular needs. We do certain aspects together (science, history, literature, etc.) but the core subjects I'm finding easier to take turns even though I'm doing the same lesson twice. So far the things we're doing for those (Rightstart, I See Sam readers and Headsprout, HWT) are not long lessons so it's working out fine. This allows me to tailor the instruction (pacing, detail, etc.) to each child. It also allows the one who struggles more less opportunity to compare himself to his twin.

I can't find the book/author. I'll keep looking. But the consistent finding is that the one biggest factor is spiritual training (and modeling) in the home by parents. Barna has some good books on what's important (spiritual formation wise) in raising kids http://www.amazon.com/Revolutionary-Parenting-Research-Shows-Really/dp/1414307608/ref=pd_bxgy_b_text_b I liked this one. Revolutionary Parenting: What Research Shows Really Works What you do at home is what matters--have a family prayer and bible study life, model what it looks like to live your faith. Pray for your kids. What they see in their parents has been shown time and again to be the biggest predictive factor. Barna keeps finding that the early formation is most important (I keep seeing age nine). Not that transformation doesn't happen older--God can do anything--but what you're doing now is vitally important for what happens later and so it's good you're thinking about it now. edited to add: it's that Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers book referenced above. (they base this on their research) But I don't think you need to read that one as much as realize it's your family life and what you model and do now that is the determining factor and put all the energy into that now. I'd be more inclined to read books (like the Barna one) that show how to carry that out at your children's ages now. Books about how to deepen your own spiritual life (like Celebration of Disciplines by Foster) or family devotions stuff might be good choices too. I think the solid research (Barna etc.) is showing it's not church attendance per se but rather parental influence. Maybe the stats you're seeing show parental involvement and that translates to home. But church programs, youth groups, etc. haven't been shown to be the determining factor. I of course want to add that there are certainly kids with no home spiritual life modeled, older teens and adults, etc. who have a transformative spiritual experience and live that out in their adult life even though spiritual seeking/living was not modeled at home. My husband is one. They are just the rare ones.

My spectrum son is much younger so I don't have suggestions for curriculum. I am a former public school (Jr high/high school) teacher. I'm so glad you're bringing your son home just because of the bullying alone. :grouphug:

The best program I found is RDI (Relationship Development Intervention). It's a developmental approach. They have gone back developmentally from birth and identified all the steps neurotypical kids make that are missing in spectrum kids of all stripes. The program helps the child make discoveries in those areas. http://www.rdiconnect.com/blogs/rdi-culture/archive/2010/04/19/what-is-rdi.aspx It's not a quick fix but works great with homeschooling and my son has made lots of progress. It's the most comprehensive program I found for actually improving autism related areas in my son. For example, he would rarely reference our faces for information when he was confused (let alone something more complex like pick up that the person speaking might be using sarcasm based on tone of voice and check their faces to see if they are joking). Now he does that naturally in life and it's completely due to discoveries in RDI. Our insurance covers it as we are fortunate to live in a state that covers autism related therapies via insurance mandate. I know not everyone has autism therapies covered via insurance. It has been far less than things like weekly OT or speech. I'm sure it varies by area. It's far less expensive than ABA (which I personally couldn't see using with a 10 year old Aspie).

I do think vocabulary is caught when heard. So you want to surround them with vocabulary. Though in childhood their brains are sponges you might find you pick it up too! Since you struggle in this area I'd focus on good quality read alouds and also audio books. There are some free high quality and classic works here: http://storynory.com/ You have a mix here (some with lots of vocab and others more simple) http://www.kiddierecords.com/ for free. http://librivox.org/ is a little hard to search but has children's recordings and is free too. Most libraries have some good audio books as well.

I would love something that goes through the bible with all the important stories/concepts covered. Revolutionary Parenting has a (well researched) list of the scriptures that most parents who raised spiritually active adults said were the most important. Those would be my dream things covered along with other stories and concepts of course. Sort of walk through the bible form. I think suggesting picture story bibles that also cover the scriptures being covered along with the scripture that can be used directly from the version preferred would be my desire. You could have different story bible suggestions for various age groups (and the scripture too for those of us who do both or those opposed to story bibles) for each lesson. So you would have the story, music if possible (lots of great CD's out there), scripture memory (suggested by age group perhaps) with activity, and some idea (craft, experiment, discussion, journaling suggestion etc.) to make it come alive for various age groups. Family prayer is so important too of course. For olders family and individual devotional suggestions might be nice. I think it would be hard to do a curriculum that covers old and very young kids all in one shot though. This would be my dream bible curriculum and when you make something anything like it please let me know!

I just want to mention--The Family Time Bible in Pictures is extremely realistic. So much so it is sometimes quite upsetting to my very visual and sensitive spectrum child. We use it. I keep it up and don't read certain stories. It's that upsetting to him (the pictures are what are upsetting). It's not my favorite but I know many love it. Do look because it has a completely different artwork style than the Jesus Storybook Bible (and message emphasis too...) and might be more what you personally want and the wording is what you were looking for in amount.

I have ideas that are a bit more than I think you want and ideas that might not be quite what you want either in the other direction I suspect. But I'll pass them along anyway. We absolutely love that Jesus Storybook Bible mentioned above too. It's our current favorite. I tear up reading it often. Beautiful. But I'm not sure if it has too many words to hold the attention on the page for you and unfortunately I don't think you can preview it on Amazon. The pictures are nice and colorful (often full page w/ the text there too) but it has more paragraphs per page than you might want--I opened to a random page just now and it had four paragraphs (about 2/3 a page of writing) on one page. But it's not a waste to get it and try because if not now in time I think they will love it. It's just a really great storybook bible. That said, I think (based on my own child with, I suspect, similar preferences and "wiring" as your kids and the same age as your oldest) that it might possibly be too much wording right now especially for the youngers. We also did this one: http://www.amazon.com/Beginners-Bible-Karyn-Henley/dp/0310926106/ref=pd_cp_b_1 This is an older version by Karyn Henley. You can look inside and see what you think about this one. There is a newer version with a different illustrator and author but same title (and cover I believe) and publisher but based on reviews you really want the older one. I had to buy the Karyn Henley one used. There is about one paragraph per page on average. We really like this bible and I think it might be enough to hold the attention of the older without losing the younger (middle at least if not youngest) if you think the artwork is enough. We loved these books (we have all four volumes..some I really had to search for at the time I purchased) especially when they were younger but it's even more simple wording (very memorable though) and you might not like the artwork either. http://www.amazon.com/Read-Aloud-Bible-Stories-1/dp/0802471633/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272234162&sr=1-7 It may be too little but do consider. My spectrum kiddo especially loved these because of the wording capturing him . Do look. You might not like the art but I believe the wording is short and will engage them--especially the youngers--better than maybe any other choice. It might be too young for the oldest though. My same age spectrum child still likes them, his neurotypical twin is ok with them but he's ok with any book and they wouldn't now be his choice. I think they would be great for the younger ones. The middle one I mentioned, if you like the art work, is the closest I have to what you're wanting.

I don't find it puzzling at all and I don't see why anyone would. It's a hobby and creative outlet. I don't see it as different than knitting or painting or anything else. It's cheaper than many hobbies really. Sure, small portion of people can certainly get over-involved or obsessed with anything and do it to the detriment of other things (think golf or fishing for some, internet addictions, people who spend money they don't really have on collections, people who watch tv to excess, etc.). Why would scrapbooking be any different? Nestof3--I'm glad you posted to this thread because I took a look at your blog and I love your scrapbook pages (and cards). They are absolutely fantastic. Wow!

When I used Little Hands my kids were (academically) beyond the program. It sounds like your daughter was too. I knew they belonged in the other program academics wise going into it but I really wanted to do the bible portion of Little Hands. So we did the bible stuff (happily) and I did my own phonics, writing, and math. We do all of Little Hearts though my kids are still doing their own phonics, writing and math as I liked the curriculums I was using. There is more reading to Little Hearts (you reading selections to the child). There is more to the curriculum instruction wise for sure: bible story or reading (history as time goes on) another something (science activity or reading, drama, art, etc….I don’t know if you’ll love these if you hated Little Hands as it’s sort of similar and it’s not my favorite part of the program.) sometimes another reading (devotional for example) bible verse memory with an activity to help practice it--some are unique, some are repetitive (not that I’d expect someone to come up with a unique activity for each and every day). My kids like them; I like that they are memorizing scripture. CD with verse to music (my kids like this). handwriting or fine motor and/or thinking skill workbook activity (I'm doing the prescribed fine motor/thinking skill book activity but my own Handwriting so I don't know how advanced her choice is). literature (we love this part) reading instruction (phonics at her level) math (we sub this as I wanted to continue RightStart and I've never tried her math selection to comment on it) There are less of the act out the story activities. I still see that but not so often and it's often (though not always) different to me than it felt in Little Hands. For example they might use stuffed animals to represent Mr. Toad's family and they act as Mr. Toad to warn them of danger--a kiddie way to narrate a chapter out of the literature curriculum). It still has rhymes with motions like Little Hands did. I don't know if they are more complex or whatever because I didn't do them often with Little Hands. We're doing them w/Little Hearts. I liked the bible better in Little Hands. It seems more skimmy now to me. Of course she’s covering more ground in this curriculum to get to the history portion. I knew what it would be and that’s why I did Little Hands bible. I like everything else better in Little Hearts. I think the issue with it being beyond her will be largely solved. However, it’s the same author of course so you’re still going to see things at times like you saw before, particularly in the “another something†box in the curriculum. I think you likely won’t love that part based on what you wrote but it's been too long for me to compare the complexity to Little Hands. I don’t love that part but I don’t hate it and I do love the literature and some other aspects. In short, I really think it would be good if you can take a look at a guide. I think you’ll get a feel really quickly for whether it’s a good fit.

Little Hearts is very different (to me) than Little Hands. But since you can't put your finger on what you didn't like I think it's hard to say if the same "whatever" will be off for you with Little Hearts. Is there anyway you can look over a guide?

That was it! Thank you!

I ran across a program a while back and I can't find the bookmark I had assumed I made. I believe it was a writing program (composition type writing I think) and had several levels. But the beginning/young child level was all oral. I remember it involved the child and parent making up a story together (you add, he adds, you add) and you made decisions together about choices you made in the story, sound effects, etc. I know that's probably too broad unfortunately but if anyone has any ideas of what this might have been I'm certain I'll know it when I see it.

I don't have time to read through all the replies but I'd suggest: High dose vitamin D (since most are deficient and that will affect energy). A healthy adult can safely take up to 9,000 IU of D3 per day indefinitely. Do check on the thyroid (T3 and T4 levels too). If you need an actual natural antidepressant I've seen great results with 5-HTP and with Inositol. Either are good options.

Ah, one sided does sound brain related. Seems reasonable. And I see she has risk factors for that/potential causes. That said, metabolics can cause brain injuries as well. But the tone issues I usually see are low tone throughout. My son's is relatively mild though he had gross motor delays. Did your son have the same risk factors for brain injury?

Take a look at the post of course. If you see signs of metabolics then you'd want to see someone who does them (metabolic neurologist or some geneticists for example) but if you suspected mitochondrial issues you'd have a very small pool of doctors to use who know mito. But I'm skipping ahead as this may not be the underlying issue for your kids at all. Please feel free to contact me (either place) if you've got questions. I'll try to help.

I think the way people handle grief is really complicated. My sister lost a husband as well. She (her actions primarily as far as I can tell) stays in contact with the FIL but at some pretty early point distanced herself from the MIL (divorced parents) for reasons that I think had to do with her own grief process. The MIL was the one reaching out, initially anyway, to my sister. I'm not sure a spouse somehow has more grief than a parent and so the parent needs to be the one to reach out. From what I observed everyone involved was completely devastated. I can't imagine my sister sending cards for anything soon after his death nor his parents. I can't help but think no one even thought of dates/time really other than through the lens of their own grief milestones.

I'm glad to see you say that. I have apnea and I tried to recreate her position and I, too, think it actually opens the airway but I wasn't sure. I'd really be wondering about airway compromise being behind this sleeping position. I know some strange sleep habits I had were because I was (not aware) trying to compensate for airway issues. I'm not overweight and didn't snore loudly but I did have apnea. Upper Airway Restriction would be more common for her age and sex though. Either way I think a high quality sleep study would be either illuminating or reassuring.

If she were mine I'd ask the doctor if a sleep study might be in order. That would let you know if her breathing is compromised by the position.

I actually asked because low tone is almost always brain related or metabolic. And when you run into low tone together with other things (in this case possible autism) I'd want to look into metabolics since they are often treated. However, my knowledge of the metabolic stuff that often causes low tone and autism like symptoms (very common in certain conditions affecting fat metabolism or mitochondrial function) they also include other health issues. I made a post about signs of metabolics on the link below if you want to look and see if anything fits. http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=734501 If for some reason the link doesn't work or you have questions feel free to send me a message.

I think the underlying cause is going to be important in terms of outcomes. A kid with those delays with a metabolic condition vs. environmental factors vs. brain damage from a prenatal stroke for example is going to be very different.