. . . and he's ridiculously easy to buy for this year. However, just in case it helps, here's what is under the tree for my 10 year old: Sewing machine (He has been experimenting with making costumes inspired by The Ranger's Apprentice and other adventure-type books.) A large-scale building kit my husband put together for him that can be used in the backyard. A collector's set of Harry Potter novels (the one that comes in the psuedo trunk), with a bonus copy of the new Beedle the Bard book The Lord of the Rings trilogy, nice, large-type hardcovers The newest sequel to The Ghost in the Tokaido Inn, packaged with a big coffee table bargain book about samurai A bunch of DVDs my husband found on sale Khet (some kind of board game) Roboquad (I argued against this one, which I felt was significant overkill, but my husband was adamant that there be a "toy" under the tree.) A Shutterfly photo book of all his theatre and dance experiences It's way, way too much, but that's how Christmas goes around here.

Well, I think this is one of those situations in which, as they say, "the perfect is the enemy of the good." Sure, sending a mass-produced card you've done no more than sign is a less than ideal way to keep in touch. However, from my end, as the recipient of the card, it's a whole lot better than not sending anything at all. At least I know you thought about me for the 30 seconds it took to sign, address and send the card.

Well, that explains a lot!

Gee, nothing like putting words in someone else's mouth, huh? Again, this can be turned around: Well, even though I know you don't like to receive gifts, I think that's wrong. I'm just a much better adjusted and more understanding person, because I like it when people give me things. So, I'm going to insist on giving you things you don't want and don't need because it makes me feel good. What if the absolute truth is that some of us enjoy giving (although, truthfully, I'm a whole lot more enthusiastic about giving when it's spontaneous rather than because the calendar says I'm supposed to do so) and don't particularly enjoy receiving? And what if the truly generous thing to do is to honor each person's wishes? Because, you see, I kind of thought that the idea behind giving presents was to let that person know you appreciate them? And I sort of assume that the best way to do that is to care more about their joy and comfort than your own? But I guess I'm just wrong.

Ours is long, but here you go! Happy December! Well, you probably suspected it would happen: We sent out our first holiday newsletter last year, and now it’s become tradition. It’s been another full, busy, eventful year, but aren’t they all? We’re all well and hope you are, too. G finished her freshman year at Mary Baldwin College with a bang, carrying her usual insane academic load and joining one of the college’s two a capella groups. In the spring, we made an impulsive, quick-turn-around road trip to attend their big concert and hear G sing her solo on “Time After Time.†She also kept busy over the summer, assisting with our church’s week-long Chalice Camp and then marking two theatrical milestones. In June, she had her first lead, in Alice in Wonderland with the Osceola Center for the Arts. Later that summer, she earned her first paychecks performing in the ensemble of Aladdin Jr. at the Plaza Theatre in downtown Orlando. At the beginning of the summer, she spent several days rehearsing and recording a new CD with the Orlando Deanery Girls Choir. She returned to the MBC campus right after her Aladdin run to attend training and be a part of this year’s orientation team welcoming incoming freshmen. She is a peer advisor to a group of freshmen in her program and serves on the program’s Steering Committee, working with the administration to grow and improve the program, and on the Community Council, the program’s judicial body. She is now midway through her sophomore year at MBC, majoring in Arts Management with emphasis in theatre, and is planning dual minors in vocal performance and history. At least, that’s the plan this month. She keeps tweaking things. Just last week, she learned she has been accepted to the other a capella group on campus, the Chamber Singers. While home on semester break, G will do her annual aluma appearance with the Deanery Choir for their annual advent concert. She is also scheduled to perform with our church’s children for their Christmas eve concert and will sing a solo for the service. And, of course, she’s already looking toward summer and lining up things to keep her happily occupied while she’s home. M’s year got off to quite a start in January with a wonderful opportunity. He was invited to participate in “workshopping†a new opera based on a Stephen King short story, “The Man in the Black Suit.†He and Jenny spent three weeks at the beautiful Atlantic Center for the Arts in New Smyrna while M lived and worked with a team of professionals to develop the opera. At the end of January, there were two public performances of the piece. The response was strong enough to justify continued work and exposure. So, in February, M (with Jenny along for the ride) headed to New York for another week of rehearsal and two more presentations. In addition to working on the show, M had a chance to do some sight-seeing and, what was probably the highlight of the trip, to ice skate at both Rockefeller Center and Central Park. In the spring, M kept right on singing, as part of the children’s chorus for the Orlando Opera’s production of Turandot. It was the biggest production the company has done to date, and the kids had a great time and earned much praise. Immediately after that, he went into the final round of rehearsals for Pirates of Penzance Junior, in which he played pirate lieutenant Samuel with much gusto. His annual ballet recital rounded out the season. Over the summer, he spent a week on tour with the Orlando Deanery Boychoir in and around Nashville, TN. They sang, saw some sights, and generally had a good time. A week at Camp Wingman with the choir and other young singers from affiliated local choirs completed his summer. He returned to both the choir and the ballet this academic year. Probably the highlight of his fall season was performing with the Orlando Ballet in their production of Don Quixote. The other big news is that he was selected to understudy Fritz in the company’s annual production of The Nutcracker and will perform the role at three matinees for local students. He is also rehearsing for the choir’s annual Lessons and Carols event, coming up later this month. Model rocketry continues to be exciting, too. He is now an official member of the National Association of Rocketry and can be found launching his assorted vehicles the first Saturday of most months. We managed to squeeze in a vacation in October, surprising G with a trip to Manhattan over her fall break. She got her birthday present early: tickets to Gypsy, her very first on-Broadway, Broadway show, and got her program signed by Patti Lupone. (G, by the way, says that there should be a whole paragraph about Patti Lupone here, but we decided to spare you all that.) While there, she also saw her second and third Broadway shows. We all enjoyed a visit to the Metropolitan Museum (Egyptian wing for G, samurai armor for M) and took a great behind-the-scenes tour of Lincoln Center. No sooner had we returned from that vacation than we learned that our church’s annual Halloween activities, which we’ve attended for the decade we’ve lived in Florida, were endangered due to budget cuts. So, we volunteered to help and ended up having such a good time that we promised to do it all over again—bigger and better—next year. This meant, of course, that R had an excuse to hit the after-Halloween sales and run more than slightly amok. We now have the distinction of owning more Halloween decorations than we do Christmas. Meanwhile, Jenny is still spending way too much time in the car, although it’s almost fun since she got her new MINI Cooper Clubman, which we have officially dubbed the coolest car ever! And all the driving from Florida to Virginia and back does offer plenty of opportunities to take M on field trips, including great museum exhibits about Egypt and Pompeii so far this year and one about China planned for January. As always, you’re welcome to visit Jenny’s sporadically updated blog about our homeschooling life: http://tweakedacademy.blogspot.com/. And check out [name of daughter’s YouTube channel], the online home for G’s musical and comedic stylings. And, although we hate the idea of sounding like a cheap greeting card, we wish you all the best for the holiday season and the whole rest of the year!

Some of the ones people already mentioned, especially Steel Magnolias. However, the single thing that gets me every time, no matter what film and no matter what context, is children being separated from their parents. For example, the stampeded sequence in The Lion King, I can't even stand to watch. I have to leave the room. And Lilo and Stitch? When Nani is singing to Lilo because she thinks Cobra Bubbles is going to take her away in the morning? Forget it. I'm a blubbering mess.

I think both film versions have merit. The newer one, in my opinion, is much more faithful to the spirit of the original book, which is dark and weird and a bit creepy. And I think Depp's portrayal is much more Dahl-like. However, I think the earlier one is a much better movie. That's the one I go back and watch over and over again. Of course, I had a huge crush on Gene Wilder when I was a kid, so that may affect my perspective . . .

That's true for me, too. Off the top of my head, I don't remember at the moment what I gave OR received last year. What I do remember is the crushing sense that there was just too much stuff and the feeling of failure that I didn't get my husband anything great. But I'm lost on the specifics. And I think one of the reasons I so enjoy the anonymous giving is that a tally is impossible. Edited to add: I, too, accept gifts when they are given, and I do my best to be gracious about it, but it always feels like a command performance. I truly don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but it's an act.

Well, not to put too fine a point on it, but earlier, you said this: I'm anonymous as far as the receiver is concerned. So, your contention that those of us who want to give without receiving are "emotionally blackmailing" those around us doesn't hold up. I cannot blackmail a child I've never met who doesn't know I exist. As far as that child is concerned, those gifts probably come from either their parents (since some programs allows parents to "shop" for gifts for their children to take home and wrap) or Santa. You know, come to think of it, I guess Santa must be a real basket case, huh?

. . . I display them as long as the Christmas decorations are up. If we get photos, I usually stick them on the fridge at least for a while. Cards from folks to whom we are close I usually pack away with the decorations for at least a year. When they start to get dog-eared or I need space in the boxes, I toss.

Agreed, and I guess maintaining contact with me doesn't make the cut . . .

Gee, that's kind of a sweeping generalization, don't you think? Just because someone sees things differently doesn't mean they are attempting to manipulate you. Seriously, I'm kind of reeling from the assumptions here . . . I mean, why is it okay to say that people who don't like receiving gifts are guilty of emotional blackmail, rather than to suggest that those who insist on giving us gifts we don't want are imposing on or manipulating us? If I've made my feelings and my wishes clear, and you decide that it's your "right" to do what I've asked you not to do, why is that indicative of a flaw in my character? Well, I would suggest that the two things are related. I don't know about you, but I happen to have limited resources. Don't get me wrong: We have a lot more than a lot of people. But it's not unlimited. So, we do have to choose where our money goes. And every dollar that we spend in one place (on yet more toys and goodies for our children who don't need them) is a dollar that can't go to some other use (such as giving to charities). I don't feel guilt about being better off than others. In fact, I feel truly lucky to be in a position to do something, in my own small way, to make things better for them. For what it's worth, my absolute favorite kind of giving is the anonymous kind. The greatest joy I get during the holiday season is donating through angel tree-type programs to kids I don't know and won't ever meet. So, I'm having a little bit of trouble seeing how I'm blackmailing anyone . . .

We are not Christians in any traditional sense and have always celebrated Christmas as a purely cultural, family holiday. And as far as I know, the rest of my family still sees it that way. I, however, have been moving over recent years into an uneasy appreciation of Jesus in a very abstract and symbolic way. So, for me, the holiday has taken on some additional significance.

Actually, no. I truly don't especially like getting presents. It just makes me feel obligated to like them and be grateful. I feel like a performance is being demanded of me, and it spoils any joy I might feel in receiving the gift. As I said, though, I have just a bit of baggage . . .

We have one friend who usually sends a New Year greeting. And I do look forward to that, although I'm afraid to take it for granted this year . . .

As I was holing up in my bedroom earlier today trying to finish a couple of projects for family members and wrapping a few gifts, I suddenly realized that I had not given any thought at all to what I might get. And that I had no particular interest in receiving anything. But I suspect a lot of my attitude has to do with some baggage I acquired in my childhood regarding gifts.

Oh, I have some friends who never send cards, and that's just who they are. But what about those who have in the past and just didn't bother this year? And I would assume that you do somehow keep in touch with friends and family? I think what's getting to me is that I can't think of one single "friend" who makes that effort. And, before you ask, yes, I do. I send e-mail and Christmas cards and so on. It's just not reciprocated. Ever. And, hey, I just feel like a card at Christmas--and at this point, I'd settle for something no more elaborate than a mass-produced photo card with no signature or even an e-card--would be so much better than nothing.

I've been reading the various threads about Christmas cards with a certain amount of sadness. And, having just come back from yet another disappointing trip to the mailbox, I just wanted to share how I'm feeling. We've received exactly three cards this year, one of which was from our lawn guy as a thank you for the small monetary gift I sent him. Our card list isn't long by most standards, but I think I sent out about 25. Many of those went to people with whom such cards are our primary contact throughout the year. I would like to keep in touch more often, but seem to be the only one making the effort. And now, apparently, my family and I are not worth the trouble and expense of a single card each year. I am incredibly sad and hurt. Today, I was excited to open the mailbox and see the envelope of what was obviously a card, but it turned out to be addressed to my father-in law, who died over the summer. (My husband is the executor of the estate and receives forwarded mail.) So, while many people may not feel that it's "worth it" to mail cards to people with whom you correspond only once per year, I can tell you that, from my end, that gesture would mean the world to me. Please consider reaching out to your own once-a-year people. You never know which of them may be crying his or her way home from an empty mailbox this season.

We DVR the show, and he'll watch re-runs, even. Alton has become an honorary member of our family, it seems, and gets appealed to frequently (as in, "What would Alton say about that?"). It's definitely inspired my son to learn some kitchen stuff, and he's constantly begging for more. In fact, he's getting cooking implements in his Christmas stocking this year. So, cooking shows, definitely. Also, I wanted to mention that there is a chain called the Young Chef's Academy that seems to be national. They have cooking classes for kids. http://www.youngchefsacademy.com/ If it makes you feel any better, my daughter is 14 and can't do much more in the kitchen than use a microwave and a toaster. And you're right to plan ahead for college. We're vegans, and my daughter finds it nearly impossible to eat in the college dining hall. We try to keep her supplied with quick-prep things she can microwave, and she has a toaster and rice cooker in the dorm, but she still has a rough time keeping herself properly fed. There is a full kitchen in the dorm that she could use if she wanted, and I've tried repeatedly to encourage her to learn to do more, but she has no interest.

A Christmas Story The Muppet Christmas Carol The Nightmare Before Christmas Miracle on 34th Street (in black and white, thank you) It's a Wonderful Life (maybe) The Nutcracker (probably at least two versions) Elf A Colbert Christmas (okay, not a movie, but still . . .) We have several DVDs under the tree, most of which will probably get watched between Christmas and New Year: Prince Caspian, Monty Python's Life of Brian . . . and more I can't remember off the top of my head.

This is his second (maybe third?) year doing his history and science reading on his own. We were continuing to do some reading aloud, mostly literature-type-stuff, until last year, when he made it clear he much preferred doing it himself. This may be a personality thing, though, because my daughter enjoyed and benefitted from more reading aloud for longer. I think she was 11 before she was doing all of her history and science reading by herself, and we continued to read literature aloud even after that.

We had a very similar experience recently at the King Tut exhibit. My 10-year-old was more interested and better behaved than those students. In fact, he specifically requested that we hang back in one room and let the group pass us so that he could concentrate and enjoy the exhibit. That is an opportunity a student in a school group--even one from a good school--would not have had.

I certainly do feel tired, even though I don't work for pay. However, I don't agree that scads of money are necessary to provide a really good high school education. We paid for very few outside classes. In fact, the two distance learning classes I splurged on one year turned out to be a total waste of money. My daughter took a few online classes through Florida Virtual School, which is free to as as Florida residents. (It's my understanding that many states have similar programs.) That provided us a good option for classes I just didn't feel qualified to teach (math) and also gave her a record of grades from outside sources, including honors and AP classes. Other than that, we did it on our own, with textbooks I bought on www.half.com and online resources (www.learner.org, www.ucopenaccess.org ) and plenty of books to read. (I like to buy, but you could certainly use the library for much of this.) Our local library has many of the Teaching Company courses available, too. It's do-able. Honest.

Both of my kids are more socially adept than I ever was, and, although this isn't strictly a talent, they both have much more self-confidence and poise. My son, especially, is like a little diplomat. Someone we know referred to him a couple of years ago as "a 40-year-old man in a little boy suit." It blows me away sometimes. They both have various performing talents and the confidence to put them to use. My daughter, though, sings. And that should probably be capitalized: She Sings. I've always loved singing and have sung with church choirs and such, but she just blows me out of the water. She has such control of her voice and so much understanding of where it comes from and how to use it. Of everything my kids can do, that singing voice is the one thing I truly envy.

Thanks for sharing, and keep 'em coming. I realized I forgot to say what my kids are doing. They are cooperating on two items for his office. We bought a long wooden plaque and a wooden picture frame. My son used his woodburner to put my husband's name on the plaque and "2008" on the frame. My daughter is now working on painting the wood around the words/numbers. We haven't given him current pictures of them for a while, so we putting one of this year's Christmas photos in the frame. It's one of the few gifts for him that I actually feel good about this year.