LOR - Do you ever get to see them?

[mirabillis]

This was seem an obtuse question... We're a few years off from college applications, but in 9th grade, so planning, planning, planning. I'm just wondering, if Recommenders submit their LOR direct via a portal of some sort - do you ever get to see them? Just curious. If not, how do you know they will be good? ;)

[Sebastian (a lady)]

You don't normally see them. You will want to pick people who have a good relationship with your kids as students and who can also write reasonably well.

 

We had one recommender for Eagle scout whose recommendation was all about his qualification qualifications and little about the scout. It was so odd that a board member suggested not using him for other recommendations.

[regentrude]

No. You normally do not get to see them. In almost every situation I have seen, the student has to waive the right to see the letter  - otherwise no professional recommender will agree to writing an honest letter.

 

If you make arrangements with a non traditional recommender - boss, pastor, coach - they may let you see the LOR before they submit. A college professor will not usually share the LOR.

 

That's why you only ask recommenders where you can be sure they write a good one. And any professional who could not in good conscience do so would decline. I write a lot of LORs. If I cannot write a very good one, I refuse and tell the student why. Sometimes they have nobody else and insist on a lukewarm one from me; but in that case, they know up front that it wll not be a glowing recommendation. Normally lukewarm praise is worse than none.

[G5052]

That's why you only ask recommenders where you can be sure they write a good one. And any professional who could not in good conscience do so would decline. I write a lot of LORs. If I cannot write a very good one, I refuse and tell the student why. Sometimes they have nobody else and insist on a lukewarm one from me; but in that case, they know up front that it wll not be a glowing recommendation. Normally lukewarm praise is worse than none.

 

Same here. When I was at the local community college, I had a lot of homeschooled kids wanting LOR's because the parents knew me.

 

Even if it was glowing, I told them to always ask others first it would be a good one.

 

And if it was so-so, I told them before I started. One actually went ahead with that because the student had started poorly and did well in the end (a B, but all A's on assignments after they figured it out). It was their first dual enrollment class. So I said that they had learned more than just the content, also how to study and manage deadlines. They got into a selective school.

[quark]

DS's 2 DE profs have uploaded theirs and have not shared the letters with DS (he waived his FERPA rights). We are naturally curious but of course will never even think of asking them to share what they wrote. Both know DS well and agreed happily to write him letters so we are just hoping that is a good sign. :001_smile:

 

His math mentor has not uploaded the letter yet though and that makes us nervous. Word of caution when using many different sources for one subject's learning. DS's math was sourced from so many places and in the end DS decided that the best letter would be from an online source (he figured that having two IRL letters would balance that). The mentor readily agreed but we think he could be busy or maybe he is wondering what to say about DS's IRL skills? DS did provide information about what he has done but I think we should have planned this one out more carefully in the past. We were simply responding to his needs at the time without much thought towards LORs.

 

Try to avoid our mistake if you can!

[Dmmetler]

I will also add-try to have an outside source for each major subject. In our case, so far, we haven't outsourced math. I didn't see a need to do so, and having the flexibility was helpful. But that left us with no outside math recommender, for a program that explicitly wanted one from a math teacher and one from an English teacher. I ended up (after multiple contacts with admissions), doing the math form myself but also having an extra LOR, so she still had three non-parent recommendations, but also gave the program the math information they wanted.

 

If we end up staying here next year, she will be doing an outside math course somewhere!

[Kathy in Richmond]

Our kids' letter writers never shared their recommendations with us, and I didn't expect them to do so, either. I've been on the other side of the fence for years as a teacher and college prof, and typically did the same when I wrote a letter for a student.

 

Yes, pick wisely! And start thinking about it now. There are schools which request a math and a humanities letter. Didn't see that coming with child #1, who heavily leans STEM. Fortunately one of his schools accepted a humanities letter from me, and another accepted one from his long term piano teacher.

 

[Kareni]

... if Recommenders submit their LOR direct via a portal of some sort - do you ever get to see them? ...

 

My daughter submitted letters of reference from two out of the home instructors as well as a non-academic letter of recommendation from her employer of three summers.  In her case, one of the instructors shared a copy of her letter with my daughter after submitting it.  Her employer gave her the original of his letter.  I made copies of that letter and included it with the other documentation that I mailed in support of my daughter's application (transcript, course descriptions, etc.).

 

In ninth grade, my daughter was tutored by a retired English teacher who wrote an end of year evaluation at my request.  My daughter's tenth grade writing instructor shared a copy of a letter of recommendation she wrote on my daughter's behalf for a summer writing camp.  I used quotes from both of those teachers in the counselor letter I wrote on my daughter's behalf.

 

Regards,

Kareni