Made my evaluation appointment for DS16 today (gentle, please)

[Tiramisu]

I think why people are suggesting additional testing is because at this point you have confirmed there's a problem but without saying what the problem is exactly, meaning the symptoms have been confirmed but not the cause. And some of us know by experience that without knowing the cause, it's really hard to help, even in terms of getting the best treatment and accommodations.

 

When we first got testing at 14, we went to an educational psych and we got the processing speed explanation.

 

But then once we got the np eval, we found out her real processing speed problem is caused by a motor problem. Had we known earlier, she could have got OT. Had I known earlier, I could have improved her experience by doing more work aloud and requiring less writing, since her mind actually works very quickly. If not for knowing the motor piece, she may not have been eligible for a note-taker or the current pen that records lectures supplied by the school; of course, her APD dx helped with that.

 

Since you have talked about things that sound like dysgraphia, I am suspicious of a motor issue. Motor problems can affect speech and language development, too.

 

It's your decision not to go forward with more evals. I can't do all the evals I'd like to do either, because of finances. And I've settled for some creative at-home therapies, too. So I understand.

 

However, I would try to think about the different ideas that people are bringing up to you because you're going to want to make sure all factors are covered for accommodations. As an example, I don't think extra time alone may be the best you can do for him. If you can establish good accommodations now, they will probably have him covered for the future. It almost seems as though you are tired and worn out, but it's worth trying to push for all helpful accommodations taking a wide view of what the underlying issues might be.

Edited July 21, 2016 by Tiramisu

[Tokyomarie]

Meds are usually not a recommendation for slow processing speed. Not all people with slow processing speed have a significant ADHD component, and for those who do, meds are to treat the ADHD, not the PS.

 

Here is an article by Ellen Braaten, PhD, the author of Bright Kids Who Can't Keep Up, ​a book about processing speed deficits. It gives a good overview of the topic. I see she also has some clips on YouTube that you can watch.  

Edited July 21, 2016 by Tokyomarie

[Guest]

Thanks for the update. I was chomping to hear about the results last week. Was this testing private or through the public school? For some reason I thought you were using a NP.

Private. You probably thought that because I didn't really know this at first. :) I learned of this service through a friend who had her child evaluated there. I'm not at all knowledgeable about the different types of people in this service or what they do and don't do.

[Guest]

I think why people are suggesting additional testing is because at this point you have confirmed there's a problem but without saying what the problem is exactly, meaning the symptoms have been confirmed but not the cause. And some of us know by experience that without knowing the cause, it's really hard to help, even in terms of getting the best treatment and accommodations.

 

When we first got testing at 14, we went to an educational psych and we got the processing speed explanation.

 

But then once we got the np eval, we found out her real processing speed problem is caused by a motor problem. Had we known earlier, she could have got OT. Had I known earlier, I could have improved her experience by doing more work aloud and requiring less writing, since her mind actually works very quickly. If not for knowing the motor piece, she may not have been eligible for a note-taker or the current pen that records lectures supplied by the school; of course, her APD dx helped with that.

 

Since you have talked about things that sound like dysgraphia, I am suspicious of a motor issue. Motor problems can affect speech and language development, too.

 

It's your decision not to go forward with more evals. I can't do all the evals I'd like to do either, because of finances. And I've settled for some creative at-home therapies, too. So I understand.

 

However, I would try to think about the different ideas that people are bringing up to you because you're going to want to make sure all factors are covered for accommodations. As an example, I don't think extra time alone may be the best you can do for him. If you can establish good accommodations now, they will probably have him covered for the future. It almost seems as though you are tired and worn out, but it's worth trying to push for all helpful accommodations taking a wide view of what the underlying issues might be.

Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate knowing more about things I can do, or things that can be helpful, like book recommendations or the smart pen. There was more to the evaluator's meeting than I have reported here. I am protective about what I write here for a few reasons, not least of which is that this is my son, not myself, and I don't want to spread info about him on the world wide web.

 

It seems like there's a tone in this sub-forum that I don't jive with; it bothers me. Of course I want my son to do well and have all the tools he needs to reach his goals. But I do think there is an important point in there about accepting the child you have and working towards a future that suits him well.

 

The most wonderful thing reported in the whole evaluation, to me, was my son's scale rating of his home life. On a scale of 1-10, he said it was a 9.5. Knowing that he reports feeling safe, happy and accepted at home is a huge, important element for me. Some of his struggles with perfectionism are so similar to myself, but at 16, I would have said the opposite about my home life. I would have said that I feel more criticized and more pressure to be perfect at home than at school and it was already bad at school.

[SKL]

My challenged kid was tested by the school in 1st grade, and she tested out average or above in everything.  And that is consistent with most of her test results before and since.  But anyone who works with her on academics can see she has a problem.

 

The other day I took my kids to a reading class and met the mom of their classmate there.  She talked about her daughter's LD diagnosis and how that entitles her daughter to more support (though whether she gets it apparently depends on the teacher).  I didn't have much to add since my daughter's situation is so ... confusing.  I do think my daughter's test results are partly propped up by all the work we do at home, but what else am I supposed to do?

 

I'm not sure what a diagnosis would do for us.  I think there are pros and cons and I don't know if the pros outweigh the cons for us right now.

Edited July 21, 2016 by SKL

[Pawz4me]

My challenged kid was tested by the school in 1st grade, and she tested out average or above in everything.  And that is consistent with most of her test results before and since.  But anyone who works with her on academics can see she has a problem.

 

The other day I took my kids to a reading class and met the mom of their classmate there.  She talked about her daughter's LD diagnosis and how that entitles her daughter to more support (though whether she gets it apparently depends on the teacher).  I didn't have much to add since my daughter's situation is so ... confusing.  I do think my daughter's test results are partly propped up by all the work we do at home, but what else am I supposed to do?

 

I'm not sure what a diagnosis would do for us.  I think there are pros and cons and I don't know if the pros outweigh the cons for us right now.

 

DS 17 will be tested next month with an anticipated diagnosis of ASD/Asperger's. This is a kid who had some testing as a toddler, was determined to need some speech and occupational therapy and then pretty much got along okay . . . until he didn't (in terms of anxiety and social issues--his academics are stellar). The overwhelming "pro" for us for pursuing testing now is that we don't want him to hit another wall and then have to scramble to get the appropriate testing done to line up any needed accommodation. Now maybe the next wall will never appear in his path. But we'd rather have all our ducks in a row just in case it does than take a chance on not needing to have them lined up. ;) We've watched that play out in the last year with a niece who was diagnosed as ADHD in third grade. But it was never an issue . . . until it was. She hit a wall at full speed in college, and that particular wall is preventing her from pursuing the career she's wanted since she was a little kid. There's been much scrambling around to get updated testing and diagnosis so she can get the accommodation she needs (a quiet room for taking an exam she HAS to pass to continue down her chosen path) for a fast approaching deadline. We prefer to avoid reaching the point of having to do any chaotic scrambling. Plus we believe that DS has reached the point where knowing exactly what's going on will help him understand himself better. I don't see testing as wanting to change a kid or not accepting them for what they are. I see it as just another tool to help them understand themselves and reach their full potential (whatever that may be).

[Tiramisu]

Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate knowing more about things I can do, or things that can be helpful, like book recommendations or the smart pen. There was more to the evaluator's meeting than I have reported here. I am protective about what I write here for a few reasons, not least of which is that this is my son, not myself, and I don't want to spread info about him on the world wide web.

 

It seems like there's a tone in this sub-forum that I don't jive with; it bothers me. Of course I want my son to do well and have all the tools he needs to reach his goals. But I do think there is an important point in there about accepting the child you have and working towards a future that suits him well.

 

The most wonderful thing reported in the whole evaluation, to me, was my son's scale rating of his home life. On a scale of 1-10, he said it was a 9.5. Knowing that he reports feeling safe, happy and accepted at home is a huge, important element for me. Some of his struggles with perfectionism are so similar to myself, but at 16, I would have said the opposite about my home life. I would have said that I feel more criticized and more pressure to be perfect at home than at school and it was already bad at school.

That is great news about your son and it's something to feel good about and celebrate.

 

In our situation, I didn't get the right evals until 17 with my oldest because I was dealing with a big learning curve. Another kid refused evals for years. Both developed depression because of their struggles. They are rather bright and could compensate a lot and their problems were not as much as an academic problem as a social one that influenced friendships and family life. That means we were coming from a very different place than you are having a happy, content guy.

 

My experience taught me that I would choose mental health over academics. But I've also seen the mental health helps the academics and the academics can even give the mental health a boost. So I would just cover all bases so as not to close any doors while protecting his self- esteem.

 

I have a DD who might benefit from evals and another who might benefit from a a therapy I've been looking into, but both are very happy now and learning well, so I have decided to ride the happy wave since dealing with the emotional stuff improved the academic situation anyway. Our NP completely agrees with this approach.

Edited July 21, 2016 by Tiramisu

[kbutton]

Plus we believe that DS has reached the point where knowing exactly what's going on will help him understand himself better. I don't see testing as wanting to change a kid or not accepting them for what they are. I see it as just another tool to help them understand themselves and reach their full potential (whatever that may be).

 

:iagree:

 

My kiddo with the language-based processing problems gets left out of things by default because he can't keep up--over time, he can learn behaviors to advocate for himself, but the problem with the slow processing of language is that by the time he figures out that he should ask someone to repeat themselves, they are on to another conversation, literally. I don't know what the future holds for all of his interventions, but it's profoundly sad to have your son try hearing aids for two weeks for a processing issue and find out that his normal behavior is just the tip of the iceberg of how wonderful the kid is, but he can't keep up and show who he is when he can't process sound properly. It's shocking to put those things in his ears (with no "hearing" issue), and have him seem alive and attentive instead of spacey and tired of listening so hard. It's awful. That may not be the kind of thing going on with your son, but evals are how you find out about if it is. Speech evaluations are really no big deal. Neither is the APD evaluation. It's your decision--we're mentioning things that helped our kids. YMMV for therapy--no two people have the same response to things. Nothing is wrong with accommodation.

 

I would not take my son's speech lessons away any more than I would his glasses. (I know you haven't mentioned speech issues.) I know people would overlook childish speech to some extent, but it's a lot more than childish speech. He has motor problems, so speech is fatiguing for him. Even changing his speech volume is hard and taxing. He will stop talking altogether when he's tired even when he has something really important to say. That's so sad. We didn't realize the APD was just as profound as the speech until we got more information.

[Mom28GreatKids]

Thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate knowing more about things I can do, or things that can be helpful, like book recommendations or the smart pen. There was more to the evaluator's meeting than I have reported here. I am protective about what I write here for a few reasons, not least of which is that this is my son, not myself, and I don't want to spread info about him on the world wide web.

 

It seems like there's a tone in this sub-forum that I don't jive with; it bothers me. Of course I want my son to do well and have all the tools he needs to reach his goals. But I do think there is an important point in there about accepting the child you have and working towards a future that suits him well.

 

The most wonderful thing reported in the whole evaluation, to me, was my son's scale rating of his home life. On a scale of 1-10, he said it was a 9.5. Knowing that he reports feeling safe, happy and accepted at home is a huge, important element for me. Some of his struggles with perfectionism are so similar to myself, but at 16, I would have said the opposite about my home life. I would have said that I feel more criticized and more pressure to be perfect at home than at school and it was already bad at school.

Oh I love, love, love hearing this Quill. It means you have handled your son's issues with grace. I so hope my son will say the same thing of his home experience at that age. I do not want him to feel ever that he is broken and in need of fixing. I am quite sure that every mom here longs to hear the same thing you did from your son. I want to give my little guy every tool possible for a normal happy life, but I love his little self just the way he is. I love how he expresses himself in such unique ways because his words are so limited. He is so intelligent and I want to respect his perceptiveness. Thanks is for sharing this. You give this mommy hope.