Repost from Gen. Board: Please help me figure out how to educate my ds6...

[Sue G in PA]

I've posted about him before. He has Aspergers and probably a plethora of other disorders we haven't had diagnosed yet. He's very bright and reads well. Many of you will remember he's gone on strike...doesn't want anything to do with academics. I thought if I made it *fun*, he'd do it. No go. I printed dinosaur pages with math problems for him to color (like paint by number) and he enjoyed that...yesterday! Today, I printed some dino pages where he had to fill in the blank w/ a dino word from a word bank...spelling/handwriting, right? He fought me on that. We read ONLY dino books and that's been okay. I'm considering a dino lapbook and after baby comes doing a dino unit study...I found a free one online. He plays Leapster games, ed. computer games...sometimes...when the mood strikes him. He'll play with pattern blocks...when the mood strikes him!

 

I'm just worried. I don't want him to fall behind. I don't want to push him either. Where IS that happy medium? I ordered MUS Alpha for a change of pace from Saxon 1 for Math thinking Mr. Demme might get through to him. We'll see how that goes. Am I worrying too much? If I would just let him "go" for this year and restart fresh next year, would that be so horrible? My fear is that he won't want to/be able to get back into the swing of things period! ARGH! Sorry to burden all of you w/ this. I'm just tired of fighting him, yelling at him, worrying about him, etc. Thanks for letting me vent.

 

BTW...dh and I are against medicating him BUT if it is the only thing that would help...I'd consider it.

[JamBerry]

RDI works on social & cognitive development in folks on the spectrum, and is very homeschool friendly. Some folks who begin RDI (at ANY age, even COLLEGE age) do decide to take a year or so off from academics and just work on some of the stage 1 RDI objectives and developing their relationship with their child (referred to in the RDI world as a Master/Apprentice relationship or in terms of Guided Participation, depending upon where you're reading). At later stages, RDI actually incorporates academic objectives into the program if you haven't already.

RDI is compatible with many forms of schooling/homeschooling, but may be most compatible with the Charlotte Mason philosophy (both of which closely follow the concepts of Vygotsky). A great book to learn more about Vygotsky/Guided Participation is _Awakening Children's Minds_ by Dr Laura Berk.

You can talk with other homeschoolers doing RDI & CM at this yahoo group: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/CM_RDI/

and to other RDI homeschoolers in general at this yahoo group:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HS-RDI/

And learn more about RDI in general here: http://www.rdiconnect.com.

A couple fantastic blogs for folks homeschooling spectrum kids are:

http://aut2bhomeincarolina.blogspot.com/

http://www.niffercoo.blogspot.com/

 

Anyone, hopefully something in there will help. We homeschool our ds10 (NT) and my ds almost 9yo with ASD. His thing at 6 was trains. And while trains still are his favorite thing (all probably always will be!), he is into so much more now too. Cooking was popular while we were indoors this winter (loves to help in the kitchen now when he can), and now he's looking forward to the return of camping weather. He'll help out around the house, is reading some and writing (which is neat because he is also language disordered), and is just a fantastic kid and getting better all the time.

Pam

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[chiguirre]

Honestly, if he's reading well you're ahead of the game. Is he in K or 1st grade? Unless you absolutely have to consider him a 1st grader, I'd vote for K. If he's done half of Saxon 1 and he's reading, you've more than covered K and he might be hitting a wall. If he's been cooperative in the past and it's a new thing, maybe a break is what he needs.

 

If you think it's a behavior thing, that he is testing his limits, you'll have to be firm about doing his work. This won't be pretty, but it is necessary. Last year ds had a lot of running away from the school table :rolleyes: and I had to literally stand over him to get him to stay put and do his (easy) work. Sometimes that's just what you have to do :(. I'm lucky to have an ABA therapist come 4 times a week so I get a nice reality check on ds's behavior with other teachers. He pulls the same stuff with her, too, so I'm not being a mean mommy. It's just something he has to work through. On the bright side, he's been so much more compliant this year and seems to be starting to see the value of putting in the effort to learn skills. So, it does get better, but it's hard! If you have an older child (tween or teen) they might be able to help you with the constant vigilance.

 

I'm not opposed to drugs at all, my oldest is on Risperdal and that's worked well for him. But my HFA 7yo doesn't need Risperdal for aggression. I know ASD kids who are mainstreamed in ps and they are often on ADD drugs, but our pediatric neurologist said that if ds could concentrate 1 on 1 for 15 or 20 minutes, he didn't see the point of going that route. That was almost 2 years ago and ds can sit through a 30 minute read aloud or a 30 minute math lesson (that includes some worksheets, direct instruction and flashcards) now, so that seems to be out. Most drugs in spectrum kids are kind of experimental so often a doctor will give something a shot to see if it helps or not. There's no sure thing and some drugs can make behavior worse. You won't know until you try.

 

I hope you have a proud mommy moment soon to temper your frustration! That's always what helps me keep on track.

[Elm in NJ]

I would just work on maths and read together ( he reads to you, you read to hime) for a while. Maybe practice handwriting a few days a week whilst you work on his other issues. I don't think he will fall behind.

 

My 8 yr old also has 'issues". Lots of them. If we do maths, grammar or reading and writing daily, I am happy. It is such a struggle with him and if he is having one of his days, I tell him if he does math, grammar and writing well with no complaining or tantrums, he can have the rest of the day off. Sometimes, he finishes at 10 am and plays with Legos for the rest of the day. Not my ideal situation but in my case, it is for my sanity.

 

Although, I've been known to give him a toothbrush and soap and tell him that if he doesn't want to do school work, he can help me clean the house. :D But my ds is nearly 9, not 6 though.

 

Elmeryl

[Stacy in NJ]

I do think it's terrific that he's reading and doing basic math at 6. It should ease your mind that at least academically, he's doing fine. I would be concerned that he's not able to cooperate with "school" stuff. Have you tried a reward system? Can you make a simple chart with the very basic stuff you expect from him for schooling (1 page of math, handwriting, FLL - or whatever you're using), that includes boxes to check-off? If he really enjoys computer games or some other activity, can you use these as rewards to be given AFTER all or part of his school stuff is done? I do think it is important that all children, whatever their issues, develop some level of cooperative attitude. Self disciple is incredibly important. Six is young, so I would keep expectations gentle, but I wouldn't give up on trying to cultivate a more cooperative attitude from him.

 

((Sue)), I don't have a child with aspergers, so I really cannot fully appreciate the challenges both you and he are facing.:o

[JamBerry]

I totally agree. The cooperative attitude is the most important thing to work on at this point, for any kid, but especially for a kid on the spectrum. There are 2 ways to approach working on that. One is to get him to 'comply,' and the other is to help him want to work with and learn from you, which is very challenging for a person on the spectrum who has difficulty referencing others faces/actions, inferring their intentions, and trusting them to lead them when things are uncertain. That's what so cool about RDI--it works on overcoming those challenges to help the child become a willing apprentice to mom/teacher rather than just someone who follows the rules (though there is a lot to be said for that too sometimes!)

But definitely working on that teamwork relationship is key to long term success, especially when he gets into higher grades that require more analysis and teamwork. Unfortunately for a kid on the spectrum, the uncooperative attitude is usually rooted in an inability/deficiency in being able to work well with someone and isn't just about attitude. Given the right leadership and scaffolding, folks on the spectrum can overcome those challenges and become good team players.

Pam

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