Crissy Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 It makes me so sad, but I want to be supportive. I wonder what I can do for her. She bought a home close to her stbxh so their children are close to both of them, and I've offered to help her move. What else can I do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 Listen w/out judgement. I wish I had had someone to do that when I was divorcing. Thank you. I've not been through this with someone I love so much. I will listen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 I will listen. I have no doubt that you will, Crissy. I'm sorry.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 I think the hardest thing for me was having those people that listened, then proceeded to say I told you so, or they reminded me of how stupid my choice of a husband was. I already knew it and even if I agreed, it wasnt what I needed to hear at the time. I am sorry you had to experience that during what must have been a very difficult time in your life. I am glad, however, that you felt comfortable sharing it here. I will be sure to avoid any negative comments when I visit with her. Thank you, Tbog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 I have no doubt that you will, Crissy. I'm sorry.:grouphug: Thank you, Elaine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Stay friends. Don't assume she won't want to come along to events with couples. She needs to be able to decide whether she feels like an odd one out or not. Often still coupled friends make that decision for the divorced person. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Are you living near her? If so, can you help with things like house cleaning or cooking? Can you take the kids somewhere fun? When a close friend's dh had an affair and then abandoned the family, she had a hard time doing basic things like cleaning. The kids needed a break from stress, so friends took them out to movies, or for an afternoon of play, etc. It's hard, but listening and helping with basics are really the best thing you can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Find genuine moments to compliment her. It's not uncommon for a newly divorced woman to feel stupid, or gullible, unattractive or used up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 Stay friends. Don't assume she won't want to come along to events with couples. She needs to be able to decide whether she feels like an odd one out or not. Often still coupled friends make that decision for the divorced person. Rosie Good suggestion. When I was single, someone commented that I didn't seem to mind being the odd one out. I was devastated because I had never thought of it that way before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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