3littlekeets Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Please help me sort this out. My DS10 plays Y baseball. He loves it and he's getting better:tongue_smilie:, but he'll never be a star athlete -- nor will most of the kids playing youth sports, right? It's about learning teamwork, sportsmanship, etc. Last night we played against a coach who yelled at his team, berated the players, was even screaming as one of his kids was bating, then yelled at the kid for striking out. :confused: My son was pitching at the time. As parents of the opposing team, we were appalled at the coach's behavior. He yelled at the Ump numerous times, etc..... Today, I call the Y and ask to speak to the director. I was told, "He's a good Christian man and nobody on his team has ever complained." So, I'm complaining...my kid isn't on his team, but he's exposed to the awful behavior! And, perhaps the other parents don't care -- I do. This man is representing the Y and teaching children about (un)sportsmanlike conduct. The Y director kept saying "it's just how sports are ma'am" like I was an idiot! :glare: I tried explaining my concerns and that there is ample research on proper youth coaching behavior, but just got the "ma'am he's a good man and his parents don't complain." So, should I just let it go? I'm really annoyed that for 9/10 year olds, coaches are allowed to berate players -- and that my child has to watch it! Okay, let me have it..... I"m a whiny, overprotective mom, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dtb1999 Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Last night we played against a coach who yelled at his team, berated the players, was even screaming as one of his kids was bating, then yelled at the kid for striking out. :confused: My son was pitching at the time. As parents of the opposing team, we were appalled at the coach's behavior. He yelled at the Ump numerous times, etc..... Today, I call the Y and ask to speak to the director. I was told, "He's a good Christian man and nobody on his team has ever complained." So, I'm complaining...my kid isn't on his team, but he's exposed to the awful behavior! And, perhaps the other parents don't care -- I do. This man is representing the Y and teaching children about (un)sportsmanlike conduct. The Y director kept saying "it's just how sports are ma'am" like I was an idiot! :glare: I tried explaining my concerns and that there is ample research on proper youth coaching behavior, but just got the "ma'am he's a good man and his parents don't complain." So, should I just let it go? I'm really annoyed that for 9/10 year olds, coaches are allowed to berate players -- and that my child has to watch it! Okay, let me have it..... I"m a whiny, overprotective mom, right? I don't think you are being whiny or overprotective. I think he was way out of line. I don't think his behaviour has any place in coaching 9-10 year old kids. Ridiculous. :glare: I am glad you called and said something. Hopefully more parents will, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle O. in MO Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Herein lies my frustration with the YMCA. If you were speaking to the coordinator of the baseball/softball program, I would go to the actual director of that particular Y facility. Remind him/her that the "Y" mantra if you will, is to facilitate Christian values and good sportsmanship. Telling you "That's just the way it is" doesn't cut it. If that doesn't work, email their corporate headquarters in your state. Get the name of the person you spoke with at your Y that gave you this "lame" excuse, and talk to the person in charge of all of the Y's. If that doesn't work, consider signing your son up with another organization (if you can get him in somewhere else). *sigh* I've had this concern with my 10yod and soccer/softball, but I know it's worse for the boys. I think at some age, probably 12 or 13, you won't really be able to avoid this type of behavior. We once had a coach who'd let us know when our team would be playing "difficult" teams/coaches and that would give me/dh the opportunity to decide whether or not to let dd play in that particular game. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Put it in writing & send to the director. cc your child's coach (to let your child's coach know you appreciate their *good* bhvr) If you don't get a good response, send a letter to the editor of your local newspaper. Try to get a dialogue started about positive coaching & making sports a good exp for the kids. Here are some interesting links to get you started: check out positive coaching http://www.positivecoach.org/subcontent.aspx?SecId=111&ID=4 & this blog has lots of interesting commentary about the state of youth sport. This particular entry recognizes the author of a book called Why Johnny Hates Sports http://blogs.timesunion.com/youthsports/?p=102 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 If the behavior was truly as you described, then it was over the top for that age group in a "teaching league." Did you speak with the baseball program director or the YMCA director? I agree with the above poster who said you may need to contact someone higher up at the Y to ask how this coach's behavior squares with the YMCA's values. However, unless the parents on *that* team complain, most likely the man you spoke with won't do anything. If it's not bad enough for those parents to complain, then nothing you say will likely matter. How over-the-top was it really? Was it bad enough that you're willing to take time out of your day to video the coach in action, drive to the YMCA, and play back the tape for the director to see? If it's not worth your time to do that, then just let it go. Hopefully the parents and kids on the other team will just remember this man as the "bad coach they had" one summer years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Wow. I hate to see kids getting coached in that way. Baseball is supposed to be fun! That said, in our area, if a coach did that, he'd be asked to leave the game. If he didn't improve, he'd not be allowed to coach. I don't think you're being overprotective at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted April 7, 2009 Share Posted April 7, 2009 Have your husband call, too. They can't ma'am a sir:-) Seriously, men do take things like sports differently. I'm glad I have a husband to help me parent my son. My husband would be irate to hear a guy act like that. He would call the Y and write a letter, too. Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3littlekeets Posted April 7, 2009 Author Share Posted April 7, 2009 Thank you all very, very much! I really appreciate your thoughts. I will document my issue in writing and go see the Y director in person, too. And, UGH, I should have known to ask DH to call. He was really angry, too. Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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