Best Incentives to Get 10 year olds to do their work, best environment?

[SonshineLearner]

So, I have a bright 10 year old. BUT, my problem is that she's not self motivated to finish her school work...so it's me kicking her over and over to finish. Since I can't follow behind her forever, I'm trying to think of motivators that will help her to develop some self motivation.

 

Also, do most of you stay at the table with your children? She's usually in the front room which is a table and couches.

 

Has anyone been able to give their children the big picture in life? I mean...since trivia information isn't valued, why do you tell your children they need to study?

 

She does Henle Latin, math, SOTW cds, IEW (not well...it's hard to force writing, for me at least), presentations, and memory work. Her passion is ballet, and I really can't take it away...it's the bribe for homeschooling under the radar...and it's really good for her!! The only additional activity she has is Awanas.

 

She is in 5th grade and she's actually on the young side, since her bd is in August...but she can do more work...she just doesn't feel any desire. How many hours do your 10 year olds spend on school?

 

I want to transition her this next year to self motivated. I want her to start 6th and in that year...get ready for Junior High, which is when my other girls(in public school) started acting more responsible for their own work!

 

Anyway, I need some motivation for her to study more out of self desire! And desire to achieve knowledge. I'm open to bribing:-) Any hints??

 

Carrie:-)

[CookieMonster]

I would start with a simple chart listing her required accomplishments for the day. It's her job to do what's on the list and check it off. You, at some set time during the day, check her progress. Unsatisfactory completion of a task brings previously determined consequences. The consequences should be such that they are a sufficient deterrent.

 

She's probably a little old for a sticker chart version hung on the fridge. Something savvy, computer generated, and placed at the front of a binder might be more motivating.

 

Your biggest job will be to stay out of her hair. Don't remind her. Don't fall back into the pattern of kicking her behind with constant questions of progress. Just let her take charge. Check her list at the right time every day and be faithful with consequences. It won't take long before she is internally motivated to do what's on the list - but she might flounder a bit at first. Treat her like the responsible young lady you know she is becoming, and watch her rise to the occasion.

 

(Ok, so she might never fulfill her chart requirements with glee. But, even if she's doing them just to keep out of trouble, that's ok. She's still taking responsibility for herself - and you are not having to constantly watch over her.)

[Maria/ME]

I concur with Cookie Monster...

 

My dd will be 11 in a few weeks. I find that at this point she is craving more of a structure/routine, but at the same time resents it. I pulled up a agenda of what I hope to accomplish each day and she watches it follows it as a guideline.

 

I've discussed that we can have flexibility but also need to accomplish certain things. I think at this age the BIG picture may be hard to grasp day to day. I have told her that we are trying to get more accomplished now so that we can have more time for summer fun...she gets that.

 

I have to remain firm but not pushy. Usually after a reminder she does well to sit and accomplish something. Lots of praise...focus on the positive of her day seems to help.

 

Tonite she just came up with a schedule of her own! It's far more realistic than mine was!!

[Aggie]

10 is pretty young to not have more supervision, imo, esp when our expectations are high. I would have her check in with me after she finishes each subject. And set a time for each one. I agree with Cookie....don't badger her all day. Say your expectations once, follow through with consequences.

 

She may not be instrinsically motivated, now or ever. And she may not see the big picture for several more years. I know adults who don't see it yet. But I believe dc must learn to do what is assigned whether they want to or not.

 

One motivator here has been Saturday school. What dc doesn't finish on Mon, she does on Saturday. What's not finished on Tues is finished on Saturday, etc. The key here is to have her miss something wonderful on the first Saturday. "Dc, we are going to ____ on Saturday. If your work for the week isn't finished the day it is assigned, you lose your freedom to go."

 

Also, our dds are very involved in dance. They understand, though, it comes after school work. If school work (or chores) isn't finished, I'm not taking them to any outside activities. There is NO WAY I would allow them to take any extra classes if they couldn't, or wouldn't, follow my instructions and obey. After all, if they don't obey me, how can I know they'll obey any other adult?

 

Our 11yodd still does work right here in front of me. She had a little while when she could go into her room, but her work suffered. I can see her, ask/answer questions, check in, while I'm in the kitchen or doing laundry. Works here for now. :001_smile:

 

Sorry this is so unorganized. :) The dogs are driving me crazy!

[kalanamak]

Have you read:

http://www.amazon.com/Ending-Homework-Hassle-John-Rosemond/dp/0836228073

 

His idea is to stop making it your problem and start making it the kid's problem.

[Jenny in Florida]

I went through about two years of just hating homeschooling with my son, largely because it was like pulling teeth to get him to do any work. And, all too often, the work he did do was pretty sloppy and half-hearted.

 

He's now 10 (turning 11 next month), and we finally seem to have turned a corner. I'm not sure how much of it is just maturing and how much is the changes we've made in our routine, but here's what I see that has "worked."

 

He has a lot of control over what he does each day and in what order. I have weekly goals written out for each subject. On Monday morning, we sit down together and make up a "weekly planner," on which he decides how much of each thing he will do each day. Within certain parameters (math first, anything that requires my attention early in the day, etc.), he is then free to do his work when, where (reading in the living room, his bedroom, the backyard, etc.) and in whatever order he wishes. He seems much happier and more invested in his work when he has more control. That way, when he does finish on time and get good scores and all of that stuff, it's really his accomplishment, and he can feel proud of it.

 

The other thing that seems to have made a huge difference is giving him the opportunity to earn Wednesdays off. (Well, it's mostly off, since he does usually have to do a math lesson in the morning.) Basically, we spread out his work evenly over Monday-Tuesday and Thursday-Friday. Assuming he has satisfactorily completed all of his assigned work by the end of Tuesday, he gets most of Wednesday off. Sometimes, we go on a field trip, but most of the time he just uses the day to relax and read fun stuff or do projects he has trouble finding the time to do otherwise. That time off the re-charge in the middle of the week is a huge incentive for him.

 

One other small thing is that he does seem to be motivated to a certain degree by grades. So, I developed a point system this year that rewards him not only for how he actually does on various assignments but also just for getting them done on time. For example, he earns five points a week just for doing his assigned science reading or his Spanish listening or various other things. If he does fall behind, he loses one of those points for each day he's late with that task.

 

It's still not "perfect," but it's pretty good. We're both so much happier, and we get along so much better than we did the last couple of years. I hope you find something that works for you, too!

 

Edit: Oops. I just realized I didn't answer a couple of your questions.

 

How long does he spend on school? Well, it depends on how efficient and focused he is on a given day. Most of the time, we start math by about 9:00, he takes anywhere from 30-60 minutes for lunch, and we're done by 2:00 or 2:30. So, that's about four or five hours a day? Remember, too, that we do only four full days. So, if you average that over a regular five-day week, it would be between three and four hours a day.

 

I usually sit with my son (at separate desks) for the first couple of hours of each day. Once he's through the most challenging subjects (math, geography, grammar/composition), I'm free to wander off. And he often wanders off, himself, to do the reading for various subjects.

 

The big picture? Yes, I think my son gets that. He has been flirting with ideas for college and career for a couple of years, and just this year it really clicked that what he does academically now will actually matter in the long run. I think this is a very individual thing, though, and the age at which it happens probably varies hugely from child to child.

Edited February 16, 2009 by Jenny in Florida