Jenny in Atl Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I see these kinds of emails to be another sign of how lonely many people are. In some odd way, they are trying to connect to others. But yes, I find them annoying too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I just requested for the 2nd time that my dh's aunt stop sending those forwards to me. I don't mind the cute/funny ones but she insists on sending me all kinds of racist garbage about all kinds of things that are easily proven incorrect with a minimum of looking. On this last one she emails me back telling me she thought the email was informative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 (edited) I've also been known to send back the Snopes article:) There was a point a few years ago where I was being inundated with political petitions for causes I do not espouse from people who only had my email address for a totally unrelated cause and mostly had no way to know my political opinions. I asked the most egregious forwarders to desist, etc, and most did. I finally, though, got to the point with one particular relative (for whom I don't particularly care anyway because of other aspects of her behavior) that I had determined I would send the following response the next time: "Dear __________: Because you have taken the time to share your petitions with me, I know you will be equally happy to support ________ by signing this petition and send it to all your friends". I was then going to find and forward (individually over the course of several days) every petition I could find for causes that she is adamantly against but that I support (not hard, as we are 180 degrees apart in almost all of our opinions and beliefs and she has known that for over a decade). Can you tell I got a little bit ticked off?:) Luckily (for me, as it would have been a really petty thing to do), she got angry over the last response I did send her and said she was taking me off her email list forever for everything. It was a list of all the specific kinds of emails I was requesting that she no longer forward to me. I wasn't quite that lucky, but I did get a respite for a while.;) Note that this was a younger relative, and not one who has any known mental illnesses or other situations than plain persistent rudeness as an excuse. I usually just delete the ones from my dad about religion, my husband's elderly cousins about the latest health fad, the ones from some other friends of cutesy pictures, etc. The one that truly puzzles me is the one friend who will send those "answer these 10 questions about yourself, send it back to the sender and forward on to 10 others" kind of deal periodically. There is usually a "who is the least likely to forward this" question and she always enters my name (correctly, as I *never* participate). So why bother including me in the first place???? Edited January 16, 2009 by KarenNC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apiphobic Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I used to reply with a link to snopes, but after some angry responses I just started responding with this. It sure has cut down a lot on the junk mail! Excellent article from http://www.jamesshuggins.com/h/web1/bcc_field.htm My friends send me "stuff". And organizations I belong to send me "stuff". And mailing lists I am on send me "stuff". When you send people stuff you can send it in two distinct ways: 1. So that everyone can see everybody else's email address, and 2. So that everyone can't see everybody else's email address. When you put the email addresses in the "To" field or in the "CC" field, everyone can see everyone else's email address. But, when you use the "BCC" field, the system hides the addresses of everyone else. I am writing this page to encourage everyone to learn about the "BCC" field and to learn how to use it. The "BCC" field gets its name from "Blind Carbon Copy". "BCC" is a term that was originally used (back when dirt was a novelty and typewriters used carbon paper) to indicate a carbon copy that was being made but wasn't being acknowledged. It was a kind of "secret" copy, one that the addressee didn't know about. Today, in internet email it has a different use. It is used to hide email addresses so that you don't disclose everyone's email address to everyone else. Why should you hide the address of everyone else? Because when you don't those addresses can get forwarded all across the internet. When you send twenty of your friends an email showing all twenty email addresses and those people forward that email to twenty of their friends, suddenly 400 people now have your friends' email addresses. These email addresses remain in the email and many people don't edit them out. I once received an email that had been forwarded and forwarded and I was able to harvest 278 email addresses from that one email. Ever wonder how your email address gets on those spam lists? This is one way. Consider if every time your friend called their friend, they handed out your phone number to people who didn't know you. And then those people handed it out to people that they called. Or what if every time your friend wrote (through the mail) their friends, they handed out your snail mail address to people who didn't know you. And then those people handed it out to people that they wrote. This is what happens when people send your email address to people who don't know you. Are you writing 5 of your friends who all know each other? No problem. They all have each other's email address anyway. You aren't disclosing anything. Are you in the office or in a business transaction. No problem. But, the next time you open up that email that was forwarded to you with a joke, motivational story, funny cartoon, or even with one of the ubiquitous virus alerts, look through that email. See how many email addresses you can see for people you do not know. And as you forward that email across the internet to your friends sending those email addresses to spammers, remember that you know how to hide your friends' addresses to protect them. When you write, remember that you can be spreading your friends' email addresses all across the internet. Learn how to use BCC. And use it. Hints for BCC Some ISP's won't let you send only to BCC. If you try to send only to BCC and your ISP bounces your email, you may need to put at least one address in the "To" field. Here is a trick: use your own address in the "To" field. You can either put your own address directly, or, if you want to be even more clever, create an address in your own address book to use. For example, you could create an address in your address book called "My Friends" and give that entry your own address. Then when you want to use the BCC, put "My Friends" in the "To" field and the real addresses in the BCC field. The email will show up addressed to "My Friends". The other addresses will be hidden. And another one: 5 Rules of Forwarding Forwarding of e-mails is one of the topics I get contacted about the most. And, one which also causes hurt feelings and misunderstandings more than any other topic. Daily, e-mails flow in from onliners asking about a "nice way" of telling someone they care about, relative, friend or associate to not forward attachments, chain e-mails, political commentary or the jokes that are so prevalent online. Netizens are afraid to ask others to stop and those who are asked to stop, no matter how nicely, get offended and feel as though their thoughtfulness is not appreciated. But let's think about this a moment. How really thoughtful is it to click the forward arrow, then a bunch of e-mail addresses and hit send? Well, your brain had to "think" about those steps but does that make the effort truly "thoughtful." I don't think so... Here are the 5 Rules of Forwarding E-mails that those who are being truly thoughtful follow. If everyone followed them all the problems associated with forwarded e-mails could be avoided. Sticking to these guidelines will assist both those thinking they are thoughtful and those who don't want to appear otherwise: Don't forward anything without editing out all the forwarding >>>>, other e-mail addresses, headers and commentary from all the other forwarders. Don't make folks look amongst all the gobbly-gook to see what it is you thought was worth forwarding. If you must forward, only forward the actual "guts" or content of the e-mail that you are of the opinion is valuable. Check out this neato free program to help you out: Email Stripper. If you cannot take the time to write a personal comment at the top of your forwarded e-mail to the person you are sending to - then you shouldn't forward it at all. Think carefully about if what you are forwarding will be of value (accurate information), appreciated (something the recipient needs) or humorous (do they have the same sense of humor as you do) to the person on the other side. Or do you just think it is worthy? If you cannot think of why the person you are forwarding to would like to receive the e-mail - then don't forward it. It should go without saying (But I have to say it because folks do so anyway.) that forwarding of chain letters; regardless how noble the topic may seem, virus warnings or anything that says "forward to everyone you know" simply shouldn't be forwarded because it is plain old B.S. or commentary that many will not appreciate. If you must forward e-mails of this type because you simply can't help yourself, at the very least check @ Snopes.com to be sure that what you are forwarding isn't a hoax. If you must forward to more than one person, put your e-mail address in the TO: field and all the others you are sending to in the BCC field to protect their e-mail address from being published to those they do not know. This is a serious privacy issue! Do not perpetuate a breech of privacy started by other forwarders who included their contact's addresses in the To: or Cc: field by continuing to forward those visible addresses to your contacts! Remove any e-mail addresses in the body of the e-mail that have been forwarded by those who brush off the privacy of their friends and associates. The above 5 rules will help qualify if an e-mail is worth forwarding and the right way to do so if it is. If one cannot make these extra efforts, then they really have no excuse to get mad or have hurt feelings when asked to stop. And if asked to stop forwarding, don't get mad; just realize the person on the other side certainly has the right to make that request. On an aside, also keep in mind that if you are forwarding a private e-mail that was sent to you, you must get the sender's permission to forward it on to others (or post it publicly). E-mails are copyright protected by their authors. Not only that, common courtesy dictates that you should ask the author first if the e-mail sent for your eyes only can be forwarded to strangers or others for which it was not originally intended. At the end of the day, when it comes to receiving unwanted forwarded e-mails, if you fear hurting someone's feelings by asking them to stop forwarding you e-mail, know they probably meant well, were really thinking of you, were trying to make a point - ahhh, just hit delete! Judith Kallos http://www.onlinenetiquette.com/5-rules-for-forwarding-email.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 What I don't like is when people don't know to do Blind CCs when they are sending them out... Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Oops, I didn't see yours first Apiphobic, Maybe I should copy your response (with no name:-) and send it to everyone who sends me one of those emails...with my email in full view! And, if they don't respond, I could send it to their whole list! Carrie:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apiphobic Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Oops, I didn't see yours first Apiphobic, Maybe I should copy your response (with no name:-) and send it to everyone who sends me one of those emails...with my email in full view! And, if they don't respond, I could send it to their whole list! Carrie:-) Some people take it very well, and some people still get mad. And some people probably don't take the time to read the whole thing. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Apiphobic Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 (edited) My, I'm grumpy today! Edited January 16, 2009 by Apiphobic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christy B Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I'm known among my circle as the catty friend who will reply to your forward with a link to the Snopes article denouncing the "truth" you were so kind to pass along. I have been especially annoyed by FWDs from people I hardly know (i.e. other moms from our HS group). It is SO annoying to 1) assume I am of the same political persuasion that you are (even if I *am*) and 2) assume I'm ignorant enough to FWD on some crazy email about Obama being a Muslim, boycotting McDonalds or Disney because they "love gays" or not buying any gas on a specific day to really stick it to the man. Ugh. This is me. I reply to the email with the appropriate snopes link. If it's someone who has ignored repeated requests to be taken off their "forward list" -- I have been known to "reply to ALL" with the appropriate snopes link. I'm not sure which I hate more, the assumption that I will agree with (or care about) what is written, or the fact that my e-mail address is likely visible to every. single. person. who received the same forward. :cursing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I see these kinds of emails to be another sign of how lonely many people are. In some odd way, they are trying to connect to others. But yes, I find them annoying too. Jenny, I think you hit on the *exact* reason my husband's aunt does it. It's sad, really. Chelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blessedfamily Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I'm sorry to say, when I get this I block the person from sending me emails. To my mind, they have lost email priviledges with me, but are welcome to call if they like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I dont have anyone that sends me stuff that I dont want regularly, but I am on a friend's joke list and political stuff comes with that at times- but I don't mind since we are of similar enough mind that I find them interesting or I delete. My brother asked me to forward the jokes I get and my cousin found out I was doign that and asked for them too! So I get daily jokes and I forward them with discrimination. I send the lovely photo ones to my dad who love nature photography. I send the feelgood spiritual ones to some friends- unless they are guilt tripping me into passing them on to 10 friends, then I dont send them on principle. It's all part of the play of being online and staying connected to people- but I think I would let someone know, or block them, if I was continually receiving stuff that I just didn't resonate with at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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