Mom asked if I remembered what I said about being, um, *heavy*

[Aubrey]

when I was *skinny*--:001_unsure:--I don't *remember* saying... or even thinking!...anything...bad.

 

So I brace myself for the slam, figuring whatever it was, I deserve to hear it now that I need to lose $#(! pounds.

 

I said I'd enjoy it. When I was 16 & a size 5, I said that if I was overweight, I'd try to embrace it. Wear fun, flowy clothes & try not to let it get me down.

 

It's harder than I thought it would be, but really? I still think that's good advice. When I feel good about myself, it's easier to eat right & exercise, etc. So I went to the fabric store today & got some patterns for what I thought (back then) would be fun clothes & some clearance fabric, &...I don't know. I feel like patting my 16yo self on the back.

 

And I also feel RELIEVED. Nothing came back to bite me, kwim? :lol:

[Tess in the Burbs]

I had an abnormally flat stomach in the teen years...so after child #1 and I had this 'tire' around my middle I was shocked. I had gained weight earlier due to thyroid disease I didn't know I had but it didn't involve tires! So after child #2 and a second tire joined the first ....I remembered back to being in the mall one time(with my perfectly flat stomach, lol) and seeing middle age women with huge belly's sticking out and I swore I would never have that.

 

so I deserve it I guess.

 

But this is good advice. I finally went and bought some clothes that fit. not the size I could squeeze into. The size that was comfortable and had a little extra breathing room. I bought shirts a size or two larger that didn't cling to me. And I did feel better!!! Don't get too extra big or that can make you look heavier too, but not skin tight is a good way to go. I wish I had the sewing ability to make my own clothes. I have the machine and serger but no sewing aptitude :-(

 

but now I try to make sure my kids understand people are truly all sizes and it's not their fault if it's not a perfect size....I am glad we got past the 3 year old stage of saying people were BIG(meaning tall, lol).

[Chelle in MO]

Good for you, Aubrey! If my mom said that to me, I'd have been thinking, "There's no telling..."

 

What a relief that you were as much of a sweetie back then as you are now!

 

Chelle

[Colleen]

...there are all different kinds of "heavy". I know women who weight way, WAY more than I do and yet I wouldn't for a minute consider them less healthy. I mean, let's see...They get enough rest, as opposed to me. They don't eat any less healthy than I do. And they *do* exercise. Still, they're "heavy" in comparison to me. (And since I'm around 120 lbs, "heavier" doesn't necessarily mean the size of an elephant, kwim?) Their faces are fuller, and in a way, that's kinda nice. I hear comments all the time about how I look sick or anorexic. I'm *never* assumed to be younger than I am. Whereas women with "rounder" faces look, well, softer. They do often look younger, imo.

 

All of which is to say, as long as one is eating well and moving a good deal, that's what counts. Everyone isn't going to be a size 4 and that's okay.:)

[Peela]

I was at the beach this morning (yes, summer here, very hot, yuuummmy) and there were many other people walking there and swimming, because its a stinker of a day. What I notice is that the skinny older women....do look older. Particularly if they are very well tanned, so their skin is leathery. I do agree with Colleen, a bit of fat under the skin is a soft look, especially in an older woman.

We are sooo indocrinated to think we should all be skinny for all of our lives, but we come in all shapes and sizes. A woman who is confident in her skin (as in, comfortable in her body), dresses well for her shape and own unique style, can look beautiful at virtually any size.

But I also compare myself....I have never been skinny and it's hard not to be envious. Nowadays, I see people skinnier than me, and people with more weight, and I figure, thats the way it will always be, no point comparing.

[Melissa in Australia]

I have always liked looking at the paintings by Raphael. they don't have flat stomachs, they have biggish hips, they look more my shape!!

 

MelissaL, who isn't fat but not the supper thin person who I was before I had 5 children.

[Karen sn]

I was at the beach this morning (yes, summer here, very hot, yuuummmy) and there were many other people walking there and swimming, because its a stinker of a day. What I notice is that the skinny older women....do look older. Particularly if they are very well tanned, so their skin is leathery. I do agree with Colleen, a bit of fat under the skin is a soft look, especially in an older woman.

We are sooo indocrinated to think we should all be skinny for all of our lives, but we come in all shapes and sizes. A woman who is confident in her skin (as in, comfortable in her body), dresses well for her shape and own unique style, can look beautiful at virtually any size.

But I also compare myself....I have never been skinny and it's hard not to be envious. Nowadays, I see people skinnier than me, and people with more weight, and I figure, thats the way it will always be, no point comparing.

 

That reminds me of what my sister once told me when I was just starting to run and wanted to do a 5K. She gave me advice to pace myself and remember that there are going to always be people coming in before me....but there will also be people behind me. (I was happy just to finish! and I paced myself with an old man and enjoyed running). Point is - we're in the middle.

 

Hmmm....maybe I should start running again - endorphins rock.

Maybe that's what's missing from my life.

 

Audrey, I want to say this to you - FWIW, I don't think our babies are all that old (mine is 4 mos, I think yours is 5 or 6). AND....my dear boyfriend, for all his faults, amazed me the other day when he said that he loved my soft stomach. We were in bed snuggled up (it was a rare cold morning in Florida - of course the *day* was HOT), but anyway.....he was snuggled up to me with his hand on my belly and that's when he said it. (As opposed to if he had said it while I was looking in the mirror whining about my belly - saying it just because he loves ME). He was actually loving the feel of my soft stomach.

 

We're too hard on ourselves.

I don't think I will ever. again. in. my. natural. life. see size 2 or 4.

But ya know what - when I was that size I got all kinds of rude comments from fat people. And it hurt.

 

We can't be too unrealistic.

And honest to the heavens above, I REALLY feel that in these times it is better to have some extra fat. It will serve us well in the year 2012.

 

Do yourself a favor.

Dig up a picture of your younger, skinnier days. Did you know and feel that skinny, that young? Did you appreciate it? Probably not. Just as you do not appreciated this youth and this healthy body you have now. None of us do really.

 

I look back on 2nd grade pictures and early college pictures - I had NOOOOO IDEA I was that pretty or thin. And I look back 11 years ago to pictures of me with my dd (now 11) and I had no idea I looked that young at 25.

 

Point is this: in 10 years you're gonna look back at this time and think to yourself that you really didn't appreciate how shiny your hair was, how much of it you had, how strong you were, how young your face looked, etc....

 

We're not ever as womyn truly thankful for these bodies. We're in the past looking at how thin we were or in the future hoping we can be thin again. But we're never in the present loving ourselves.

 

I think your attitude is spot on with the flowy fun clothes.

And I must ask - if you don't mind - how tall are you and what do you weigh?

 

I am 5'2" and at last weight (before all the holliday eating) I was 135.

And I am pissed off that they even weighed me and told me - because I thought I was only 120. And what's even funnier is that if I didn't know what I weighed, couldn't look in a mirror at my gut, and didn't have sizes marked in clothing - I would think I was only a few pounds heavier than 110 and a size 5! I FEEL good about my body. I appreciate that it carried this baby, successfully pushed him into this world, has singlehandedly kept him alive for 4 months (exclusively breastfed).

 

All of us womyn better start loving ourselves and accepting ourselves and showing this attitude to our daughters if we ever hope to have them grow up loving their bodies.

 

I once told dd's Montessouri teacher that she better not ever say she's fat again in front of dd because dd looks at her and sees the healthy fit active 50 something woman in front of her and does not see fat at all....and I don't want dd to have eating issues.

 

We need to love our bodies instead of battle them.