Christians who don't go to church: Are you out there? Do you have a story?

[Peek a Boo]

You and I are definitely not alone, however. While reconnecting with former co-workers on Facebook, I was forwarded this new terminology:

"Free Range Believer" "I think that is great term to describe us believers who are no longer a committed part of Sunday morning institutions. We haven’t left Christ. We’ve not lost our passion for the body, but many of us have found it far easier to grow and help others grow without all the overhead, machinery and rituals of organized religion. To some of us it has been a cage that did not promote healthy spiritual growth, but actually stifled it by all the personal expectations and political necessities of an institution. Now, I know not everyone feels that way and many continue to find great life and growth in such places. If it is helping you know God better and live more deeply in him, good on you! But it is also fabulous that others are finding more opportunities for growth in the freedom from some of the restrictive realities of many of those institutions."

 

Sound familiar? I googled it and found a couple neat blogs. Here's one:

http://lifestream.org/LSBL.May01.html

 

So maybe like homeschooling, we won't be counter-cultural for very long?

 

i LOVE it!!!!!! gotta go check this out some more......

[cougarmom4]

I feel saddened to hear of the times some of you have felt badly while attending church. I realize we are all different and have varying viewpoints and experiences, so I offer these comments in kindness.

 

I think it's important to remember that nobody is perfect. Unfortunately, things often happen at all churches--where feelings are hurt or situations are handled inappropriately or someone has a particularly bad attitude.

 

I'm not saying all of that should be ignored, just offering the suggestion that perhaps instead of only looking at what a church can give to us, we might consider what we can give to the church. In my case, I believe with all my heart in the doctrine of my church--and recognize that others who believe are on the same journey I'm on. We believe in Christ and seek to do His will...looking for ways to help & strengthen one another as we face challenges and teach our families. None of us do everything right, but I feel our hearts are in the right place and we are striving to move in the right direction.

 

When we've moved to a new location and begin attending a new congregation of our religion, dh and I agreed that we couldn't just wait for everyone to welcome us and put forth all of the effort--we had to do our part, too. Join the choir, offer to bring dinner to sick member, participate in service projects, invite people over to get to know them, etc. It seems that serving others is what helps us to form those relationships that we are seeking.

 

Now, as I see the original question was about those who choose not to go to church...so I'm not trying to convince you to go. Simply adding another perspective to think about. To those who are seeking...I do believe there is truth out there and that the Lord will answer prayers in your search.

[Retired]

I feel saddened to hear of the times some of you have felt badly while attending church. I realize we are all different and have varying viewpoints and experiences, so I offer these comments in kindness.

 

I think it's important to remember that nobody is perfect. Unfortunately, things often happen at all churches--where feelings are hurt or situations are handled inappropriately or someone has a particularly bad attitude.

 

I'm not saying all of that should be ignored, just offering the suggestion that perhaps instead of only looking at what a church can give to us, we might consider what we can give to the church. In my case, I believe with all my heart in the doctrine of my church--and recognize that others who believe are on the same journey I'm on. We believe in Christ and seek to do His will...looking for ways to help & strengthen one another as we face challenges and teach our families. None of us do everything right, but I feel our hearts are in the right place and we are striving to move in the right direction.

 

When we've moved to a new location and begin attending a new congregation of our religion, DH and I agreed that we couldn't just wait for everyone to welcome us and put forth all of the effort--we had to do our part, too. Join the choir, offer to bring dinner to sick member, participate in service projects, invite people over to get to know them, etc. It seems that serving others is what helps us to form those relationships that we are seeking.

 

Now, as I see the original question was about those who choose not to go to church...so I'm not trying to convince you to go. Simply adding another perspective to think about. To those who are seeking...I do believe there is truth out there and that the Lord will answer prayers in your search.

 

 

The church that left 2 years ago. I had only been attending a year. I was teaching a Sundays school class and a children's church class within 6 week of attending. I am not looking for perfect people. I also tried to reconcile in a biblical way with the screaming women in bible study. I called the pastor. He said that his wife would handle it. The pastors wife then accused me of spreading gossip.

 

I do know after I left the Lord revealed all. I told each of them that the way they treated me would run a non hristian from Christ and a spiritually immature Christian may never return church.

 

I have been slow returning to church but not because I don't' want the fellowship. The Lord has his own plan and timing for my family.

 

My being home and holding family fellowship has open my dh's heart to God. He now the first time in my 18 year marriage actually wants to attend church with me and the children. The whole episode with the church hurt me but through it I grew spiritually and this has help me to me more of a Christian witness to my husband.

 

I use to think that Christian not in church aren't " really good Christians". I am much more spiritual and have a closer relationship with Jesus being on my own for 2 years.

 

Anyway thats been my experience. I do understand were your are coming from.

[elegantlion]

The church that left 2 years ago. I had only been attending a year. I was teaching a Sundays school class and a children's church class within 6 week of attending. I am not looking for perfect people. I also tried to reconcile in a biblical way with the screaming women in bible study. I called the pastor. He said that his wife would handle it. The pastors wife then accused me of spreading gossip.

 

I do know after I left the Lord revealed all. I told each of them that the way they treated me would run a non hristian from Christ and a spiritually immature Christian may never return church.

 

I have been slow returning to church but not because I don't' want the fellowship. The Lord has his own plan and timing for my family.

 

My being home and holding family fellowship has open my dh's heart to God. He now the first time in my 18 year marriage actually wants to attend church with me and the children. The whole episode with the church hurt me but through it I grew spiritually and this has help me to me more of a Christian witness to my husband.

 

I use to think that Christian not in church aren't " really good Christians". I am much more spiritual and have a closer relationship with Jesus being on my own for 2 years.

 

Anyway thats been my experience. I do understand were your are coming from.

 

 

:iagree:I too was teaching at the church I left. There seemed to be little accountable to anyone. Everyone was so busy doing church people seemed to be doing little fellowshipping, even though we tried. Not one person called after we decided to leave, I tried to maintain the friendships I had made but they all fell apart.

 

I don't believe there are any perfect churches and am not looking for that.

 

ETA: Although I realize that some incidents in churches are things that can be overlooked, there are many that are not. I doubt many people would suggest staying in a marriage because of abuse or intentional acts of a divisiveness, I've seen many of those same acts happen in a church setting.

Edited December 23, 2008 by elegantlion

[ElizabethB]

My dh wants a men's church that sees the value and worship in things like rock climbing and sailing and being out in the world God created. Singing a bunch of sappy songs and listening to someone talk for 45 min does not do it for him. Would your dh be up for a worship-filled mountain climb? :001_smile: After all, Paul said to not stop meeting with other believers. He never said where or when we had to meet.

 

I think a lot of the issues people have with church could be solved by leadership that does not tolerate gossip and the other "acceptable" sins allowed to flourish in America's churches. Why can't they just love people and teach the Bible and why is it all so girly? The speaking, the singing the expectations that end up with worn out, disillusioned and bored men, it has been feminized for so long, it is just what we accept church should be. My dh needs adventure. Why can't adventure be found within the body of believers and accepted as worship?

 

Our current church (also the church where we found Christ 11 years ago, we've moved back for a bit) has a yearly men's mountain climbing trip with one of the pastors! Almost every sermon he preaches has something about mountain climbing and 14Kers in it somewhere.

 

We move a lot, it is hard finding a good church. It was nice coming back here where we didn't have to look around to find a good church.