Now what? please advise!

[tmkclscroggins]

What do you do with a child who has no knowledge of things that seem to be very common? This child, until recently, couldn't get himself from our house to Walmart ( it's only 2 miles and we go there all the time!). He also didn't know that Chicago was in Illinois. This child is 14 years old! He breezes through math - he's in 8th grade and we're doing Geometry with no problem! I'm just very concerned over his lack of knowledge of very basic things! The things that everyone seems to know with having been taught. I've always wondered if there was some type of learning issue but I'm not sure how to find out. We had him tested for dyslexia and he doesn't have it. He can't spell and he still has problems reading. He has a very hard time with writing.....putting thoughts into words. He's the sweetest thing but I'm very worried. How on earth is he going to get into college? He tests at a 4th grade level on spelling. I know he wants to be successful in life. He likes working with his hands and he really likes science but Biology is definitely kicking his rear end this year! It's the vocabulary! In some aspects, he's got the brain power to go far but on the other hand, he's very behind.

 

What do I do and where do we go from here?

 

thanks,

Melissa

[MBH]

Dear Melissa,

 

Do not worry about your son. Chances are great that he does not care about those things. They are not a priority to him.

 

What is important to him? Does he learn quickly the details to a project or subject that is dear to him?

 

I find that my dc learns very quickly the things that are important to him/her, and yet drags his/her feet in a subject where I think he/she should be putting more effort.

 

Biology is a horse of a different color in its own. We have all been given certian gift/gifts by the Lord. Some are predestined to become biologists, and/or doctors. I wasn't. There is no way I can memorize those words in biology. I was given a different gift.

 

Yet, I know it is good to study biology and try very hard to learn what is presented in the book. I have one child who has to go over the biology material four (4) times in writing and orally before he/she can get it (this presents a problem because we don't have a lot of time). I have another one who spits out the answer without reading the related material in the biology textbook.

 

One of the beauties of homeschooling is that we can help our children identify their gifts and interests by allowing them to experiment with different subjects and ideas.

 

BTW, the first day I went to a new highschool, I got lost walking home and I was 16. However, that experience didn't make me think I am slow or need to be treated differently. I went on to major in Information Systems in college and did quite well.

[shell in SC]

Just wait till they're old enough to drive and are chauffering you everywhere. DD used to ask me how to get to church. . .it would drive me CRAZY!!!!

[Cedarmom]

On biology: my son has an excellent memory but he stuggled in biology. There was a bunch of memory. I had to help him, and really teach him how to memorize.

[lionfamily1999]

This child, until recently, couldn't get himself from our house to Walmart ( it's only 2 miles and we go there all the time!). He also didn't know that Chicago was in Illinois.

LOL, okay, unless I drive somewhere, I will not remember how to get there. I was a dispatcher/dispatch supervisor for UPS for two years. It's not that I lacked knowledge, it's that when someone else drives I rarely bother with following our route. As for the Chicago/Illinois thing... is that where you live? Otherwise, it may be "common knowledge" for some, but that does not mean (by any stretch of the imagination) that everyone knows that. And remember that people learn most of these tidbits by common interactions. Reading a newspaper, book, magazine, watching t.v., staring in boredom at a doctor's bulletin board. He's retaining information, it's just not the things that YOU retain.... Does that make sense?

[PrairieAir]

The reading and spelling problems make me wonder if he has a vision problem. Dyslexia is not the only vision (and really it's in the brain rather than the eyes themselves from what I understand) problem though it is better known than some others.

 

My 14yods had problems learning to read and with spelling. We took him to a regular optometrist at the end of his kindergarten year and he tested better than perfect for vision. The optometrist thought I was being ridiculous for being concerned about his reading, but I had already taught two children to read and knew something wasn't right. I didn't know where else to look. Toward the end of his second grade year (and after a lot of frustration for both of us) I saw an ad in our local homeschool magazine discussing vision problems which can affect learning and offering a free exam. We found out ds had a convergence deficiency. Though his vision was very good for most things, his eye muscles were having trouble pulling in and focusing together on words on a page. He was having blurred and double vision that were giving him headaches and making his eyes hurt, but because he had always experienced this with reading, he thought it was normal. He went through vision therapy and quickly began to catch up in reading. This year (9th grade) he tested at above 12th grade level in reading. His eyes still get tired occasionally, but he can read anything. His spelling is still a little behind, but he is improving every day the more he reads and becomes used to seeing words correctly. I would suggest you have your ds tested by a developmental optometrist or someone who does vision therapy.

 

Vision may not be the problem. I'm sure there are other possibilities to investigate. It may be nothing, too. I've known some people who are absolutely brilliant in one or two things, but who seem clueless about very practical things that most of us take for granted. They aren't autistic savants or anything, they just think differently or have their minds on other things. I think sometimes we are too concerned about everyone being normal and thinking/seeing/acting similarly. Perhaps your son has a special way of thinking that will enable him to do things or see solutions others can't. Of course he still needs to be able to function well in areas in which he may not be so profficient or naturally inclined. I would encourage him in his strengths and interests while working with him in the areas where he is weak.

 

I've noticed that my middle two kids are a little clueless about directions. They aren't driving (or at least not much) yet so they don't pay attention to where they are as other people are driving them places. My 16yodd is even a little lost in our very small town of less than 2,000 people! I know that a big part of this is that they aren't interested unless they are the ones behind the wheel. I've worked with all the kids since they were little on knowing where they live (we did move 3 years ago) and where other things are in relationship to our house because I think that's important for even small children to know in case they are ever lost. For some reason the middle two are just so much less interested in this than the other two who are very good with directions. They have to be pushed to think about it. It's my job to get them to practice being aware of where they are and finding their way before they ever really need it.

 

Oldest ds is a born writer, but my younger three have all had problems figuring out how to put thoughts on paper. It's overwhelming to them, and I admit that I have a little bit of trouble teaching writing to someone who is that overwhelmed by it. It's simple in my mind. Think. Write. I'm not good at walking someone through the initial process, but I can show them how to improve what they've written once they have that rough draft on paper. The best solution may be to find someone who has had that kind of difficulty with writing to help teach ds or find a course that walks him through baby step by baby step.

 

One thing I noticed about my 14yods with writing is that he is not short on ideas! He is very creative, very artistic, always thinking, always asking questions. I think sometimes he gets a sort of log jam of ideas in his head and he isn't sure where to start or how to sort them all out. It isn't that he doesn't know what to write, it's that he's can't write fast enough to keep up with his thoughts and he hasn't completely learned how to slow those thoughts down and keep them going at a manageable rate. Many times when he seems spacey or clueless about more practical things it's because his mind is very busy working out ideas. He is learning to harness that brain of his and make it work the way he wants. It requires a lot of practice and discipline, though. If you can recognize the signs when your son's brain is starting to stray off task or if you can see a direction in which he needs to steer it, you can help remind him gently and show him how to train his own brain to go where he wants it to. I hope that makes sense to you.

 

You said biology is a problem this year because of vocabulary. Is it just written vocabulary or is he having trouble with identifying vocabulary words when spoken as well? Have you tried working with flashcards? Using pictures or experiences to tie the vocabulary words into? If he does well learning with his hands, are there tricks you can use to help him learn? If you find something that works, remember to teach him to use those tricks to help himself learn. Some people need a picture to associate with a new idea, some people use mnemonic devices, some need to associate ideas with actions to get them. Each of us learns and thinks differently. The human brain is such an amazing thing! Help your son find how his brain works and teach him to use the methods that will work best for him.

[tmkclscroggins]

Thanks for those uplifitng replies! It helps to know that other people have concerns and that I'm not CRAZY!!!!!

 

 

 

melissa:lol:

[AnnetteB]

Maybe a few lessons in observation techniques? Can he draw a map of the house, a map of the neighborhood, a map of the country? Does he help with household chores like cooking and repair? Folding and returning laundry to their proper places? I think that kids get drawn into computer games and other realities to the point that they are out of touch with the real world. They don't see the connectedness in it all.

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

really destined to be a physics professor. However, he can' t keep track of time or dates. 90% of the time he doesn't know what day of the week it is. Even if you tell him it's Monday, the next day he doesn't seem to recall that it was Monday yesterday, therefore it's Tuesday.

 

He remembers all his favorite magic tricks, magicians, and science fact, but the days of the week just won't stick in his brain!

 

K

[Peela]

My ds13 is similar, but he does have learning difficulties. He doesn't know the states or capitals of Australia (and theres no where near as many as in the U.S!). He doesn't even know his months of the year very well- the order they are in, anyway. He has an excellent vocabulary though.

I think it just takes some kids longer to come out of that bubble of childhood, into the bigger world. Until they do, they don't notice a lot of stuff. It has to relate to them personally. Once there is a personal incentive to register things, it should take root.

My other child is not like that though. However one of the guys in her Scout patrol....man, he drives me crazy, his brain just doesn't work. So something can be organised with him, and he just won't register. Like when he asked me for a lift to a Scout camp, and I turned up- having gone well out of my way to get him- and he had organised a lift with someone else already- hed forgotten if I was coming or not. It's like he is completely stupid, but I dont think he is- I think it could be partly puberty, actually. Its like there just isnt enough energy to go into clear thinking, and growing into a man, at the same time.