constant. never ending. complaining.

[dm379]

My 7yo dd is driving me completely insane. She really is a good kid. I've never really had any behavior problems except for this one thing. She does nothing but complain about her schoolwork. I took them out of school about 2 months ago and she started from day 1. It's a huge battle to get her to do anything. She complains it is either too easy, too hard, she did that last year, or other kids don't have to do that. She complains about all the work (she'd be done in 90 minutes max if she wouldn't put up a fight). She complains she never sees her friends even though she sees them several hours a day every day. Getting her to write 3 sentences has been a 2 hour fight today. She's in her room crying right now because "it isn't fair she has to do work". I don't know what to do anymore. I'm tired of the battle every single day. Anybody can help?

 

Oh I took them out of ps because there were 9 total reports of knives, choking and fighting in ONE week. This is k-3 graders. Plus they were trying to put her back in 1st grade on age basis alone. Going back is not an option and private school is a no too because we're moving in a few months and I can't afford whole year tuition for 3 months of school.

[Karen in CO]

When you pull kids from ps, it is beneficial to take a break for a few weeks or longer before you start homeschooling. Take a month off from schooling and just read to the kids, play board games, do art, and go on field trips. It will serve a few purposes at the same time. It will get ya'll acquainted with each other again; it will help you to get a feel for what each knows and how they learn; it will reininforce for everyone that home is the important part of homeschooling.

 

Good luck. My 7yo is very chatty (and on bad days, complains very strongly) and takes injustice very hard. She loves her school work now, but it has taken a while for me to learn how to teach her.

[teamturner]

My 7yo dd gives me problems like that sometimes, especially when it comes to writing. Most of the time, I offer to let her do the sentences on the dry erase board and then it goes more smoothly. I'll say something like, "Okay, do you want to write do this assignment on paper or the dry erase board?" Then she feels like she has some input. When she melts down about an assignment, I hold my ground and make her do it before she can do anything else (i.e. no lunch or snack until you've finished this assignment). I'll send her to her room until she's ready to continue. I've had to do that a few times. I've seen that if I let her win a battle she will continue to fight me. If she sees that she's not going to win and fussing, screaming, or crying about it itsn't going to sway me then it's futile to act this way. This dd is also the one who when she was 2 yo had serious temper tantrums. And see this as the same thing only on a 7yo level. She's and tantrums recently over other things too. I've just stayed calm and didn't react but just stayed firm in my decision and let her know that I was in charge and was not going to change my mind. I would love to show her grace and bend my will to hers but at this point she's shown me that I can't. Most of the time, she is very pleasant and agreeable, so loving! And then bam! A switch goes off and she cannot control her anger.

 

I think if you stand firm and give her a lot of praise (maybe even a few rewards) she'll realize that this is how it is and complaining isn't going to change it. It only makes herself miserable. That's my game plan at present.

 

Blessings!

[AnnetteB]

Good advice above :) Spectrum materials are a bit dull IMO. Foresman and McGraw Hill....did the local ps give you their materials? Homeschooling gives you the opportunity to set your own curriculum goals and spice learning up. Dc might not compare so much if you create something entirely different and give your homeschool a name...let them help draw a logo, too. Just looking through the Veritas Press catalog online might give you some excellent ideas to make it all more fun. Good luck with this new adventure!

[LaxMom]

I took them out of school about 2 months ago and she started from day 1...

 

Yeah, what Karen said. The rule of thumb is about a month for each year they've spent in school to "deschool". And what you're describing is a) normal balking that a lot of us go through (thankfully, it seems, in phases) and b) a big part of the classroom culture. Remember, she has been taught (though probably not by you and not intentionally) that learning is a chore. Also remember that when she has been home previously, it was vacation.

 

She needs time to rekindle her interest and stop feeling as if she's on vacation and you're interrupting her "off" time with work.

[Peela]

I found when I started homeschooling my kids didn't respect me, because they had been to school where the institutionalized thinking is simply that mothers are not qualified to teach- you have to go to school to be taught by teachers. It took them ages to realize I was ok at it :) It is still a struggle with one of my kids though, because of his partcular relationship with me and his personality.

 

Be careful not to just try and imitate school at home- enjoy the freedom of homeschooling, and take time to de stress her from school. Both parents and children usually go through a de and reprogamming of what it means to get an education.

Have some fun and build your relationship together.

[MBH]

When you pull kids from ps, it is beneficial to take a break for a few weeks or longer before you start homeschooling. Take a month off from schooling and just read to the kids, play board games, do art, and go on field trips. It will serve a few purposes at the same time. It will get ya'll acquainted with each other again; it will help you to get a feel for what each knows and how they learn; it will reininforce for everyone that home is the important part of homeschooling.

 

 

 

We did take time off and read books for a month before setting up our homeschool schedule. I did this by accident, because I had to wait till the books arrived. So I decided to read to them while we waited for the homeschooling books. To this day they talk about what a wonderful time we had when I read to them. We also enjoy reading the Bible to each other.

 

I hope this helps. Whatever you do, don't give up. This phase shall pass. She is testing your boundries. Let her know who is in charge in subtle ways.

[BusyMum]

It took us four months to really get into the swing of things after pulling mr (then) 6.6 out of school. I didn't back down on requiring a certain standard and amount of work and I praised and rewarded liberally for good behaviour.

 

The last two months have ben fabulous. We have our "I don't want to" moments but he has learned that when I say he has to complete xyz before he has a snack/break/drink etc then I mean it.

 

He has also got used to the groundrules - NO tv, computer or drawing till ALL school work is completed. NO breaks until after maths, handwriting and spelling are completed and only one break is allowed. Weather permitting, break must be taken outside in the fresh air and sunlight. Schoolwork done fast and without complaining is ALWAYS rewarded in some way - praise, having a 'cup of tea' and biscuit with mummy, playing a game together, visiting a friend or going on an excursion.

 

We found in the first months that having a rewards chart for things like attitude, speed, and completion of work was a really beneficial thing for him.