Spin off- which year was better...how do we measure experience

[sassenach]

I heard a podcast that talked about a study that measured how someone perceives how painful something is. This was for medical procedures but I think it can apply to life's pain. The findings were that it's an average of the overall pain of the procedure AND the pain at the end. The length of the procedure didn't seem to matter. So if it took a little longer but ended at a lesser pain point, the overall perception would be that it was a less painful experience than something that was shorter but ended painfully.

I just thought of this when comparing 2020 and 2021. Overall, I think my daily stress/pain in 2020 was much higher than 2021. However, 2021 ended very rough for us and I can see how it's spoiled my perception of the whole year.

What about you guys? Does this ring true for you?

[prairiewindmomma]

I journal and do monthly recaps, so I think I have evaluation points along the way where I am assessing how things are going. I think I experience time differently as a result. I can look back and say, “Summer wasn’t so bad, but man my mood dips in mid-December every year and doesn’t come back until mid-March.” (That’s true, and why I use a therapy lamp.) Journaling year after year has led to some self-awareness I think I otherwise wouldn’t have.

[sassenach]

6 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

I journal and do monthly recaps, so I think I have evaluation points along the way where I am assessing how things are going. I think I experience time differently as a result. I can look back and say, “Summer wasn’t so bad, but man my mood dips in mid-December every year and doesn’t come back until mid-March.” (That’s true, and why I use a therapy lamp.) Journaling year after year has led to some self-awareness I think I otherwise wouldn’t have.

Journaling is the best habit that I've never managed to develop. My dh is great at it and I see the fruit. I've tried so many times. I like the idea of at least doing a monthly review. Maybe I'll try that. 

[DreamerGirl]

I look back at my journals.

My biggest tell is my reading and gratitude journal.

I have reading journals that go back years. Nothing fancy, just a grocery store notebook. But a pattern that is repeated is in the reading material I choose. 

When I am in the midst of great change or mournful, I tend to read comfort books from my childhood, re-read a lot, books in my mother tongue and Hind and a lot of poetry. I tend to listen to a lot of instrumental music. I cook a lot and make a lot of flatbreads as it involves a lot of kneading.

The last time I had this pattern was when my baby passed.

The first time was when I moved here which is strange because I was so exhilarated with new experiences, yet I missed my family. 

This year, starting in April to August I was in that pattern. I have started reading new books now, stopped making lots of flat bread, but still listen to instrumental music. 

My gratitude journal was usually updated when things are good, I tend to be grateful for the highs, not the mundane and I did not do it every day. This two year period, I learned to see the little things and be grateful.

I also consistently write choose joy vs the words being about something joyful even in the ordinary.

2020 did not have a lot of choosing joy while 2021 had. 

On the basis of experiences alone, objectively 2021 was far better but instead it was apparently a tougher year because of how I felt. 

 

[prairiewindmomma]

For sure.  I read a LOT of books this year.  I collected nail polish and lipstick and painted (all interactions with the interplay of color).  I definitely have self-care patterns of behaviors that increase when I'm stressed out. So, I was very stressed out this year.  This year kind of fit into a loose quote from the Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban, "...you're gonna suffer but you're going to be happy about it"