music lessons - long term trajectory advice needed

[EmilyGF]

Hi all,

When I started my kids with lessons at age 6-8, I didn't really have any long term plans. I figured they'd stop at some point. I have no desire for them to become musicians and I don't think any of them picture themselves as musicians long term (though ds15 does have three beginning piano students he's taught now for about two years).

Anyways, welcome COVID and money is tight. I've been budgeting and, man, we spend a TON on music. DS15 takes piano, dd13 takes flute, and dd11 takes violin. All practice 45-60 minutes per day without my help or urging. We already dialed ds15 back to 45 minute lessons and dd13 to every other week, hour-long, lessons. DD11 is the most naturally talented of them and her teacher quite demanding. She currently has 60 minute weekly lessons and was in youth orchestra last year, though she chose not to continue this year due to COVID.

How do I dial this back in a way we can afford? What is the off-ramp? Does ds15 go to college and quit piano just cause he goes? He was hoping to accompany the choir at school. In fact, the choir director invited him to do so in a year because he used to practice on the grand in the choir room.

Anyways, advice? How have you handled passionate and dedicated kids when the hobby got too expensive? Also, there is a bit of guilt in this for me. I've known their teachers for 4+ years and I'm sure they are having monetary problems now, too, due to COVID, and I feel awful squeezing them more by dialing back.

Sigh.

Thanks, Emily

[Guest]

Non-music majors can still Participate in music at most schools. There are church orchestras/bands, community orchestras and bands, and similar options. There does not need to ever be an off ramp for playing. Right now, a lot of churches are relying heavily on soloists, both for in person and online services. 

As far as lessons, there aren't many alternatives for kids at an advanced level. It just plain adds up. It isn't uncommon for teens to stop taking lessons and just play for fun, though, especially if they are not planning on majoring in music. 

 

 

 

[mommyoffive]

Good question.   I started my kids in lessons 7 years ago.  Money love it or have a passion.   My will not practice unless I tell them they have to.  I am wanting them to go until graduation of high school with lessons.   But it is costly. 

My kids passion is ballet and it is crazy expensive in the way they are wanting to pursue.   The cost of tuition at one place ( some danced at more than one) is more than our mortgage.   Add in shoes, tights,Leo's, pointe shoes, shows, auditions, intensives, and transportation to their ballet school (1.5 hours each way) 7 days a week and it was insane.  They want to be professional dancers, but with covid things are so muddy.  All the time I would think is this worth the money that we are spending?  But dance is what they love.  It got my 2 older kids  through this pandemic.  It is good for them in so many ways.  So we keep spending on the kids activities even though they add up like crazy.   Who knows where it might lead?  

[Carol in Cal.]

Maybe talk with the teachers about it--I don't know what is considered a terminal amount of instrument lessons, but I'll bet there is something.

[klmama]

Would the other teachers be willing to teach lessons every other week?  That would cut your expenses for those dc in half.  It also would cut the teachers' income from you in half, but they might be willing in order to keep good students.  

 

ETA:  There's not a particular stopping point.  I know an engineer who decided he wanted to become a concert violinist for personal fulfillment.  He already played pretty well, but he found an excellent instructor and really worked at it.  He's amazing now.   Even if you stop lessons now, your dc may choose to pick them back up when they are older and paying the costs themselves.

Edited August 5, 2020 by klmama