Update on me

[Night Elf]

So tomorrow I'm discharging from my ED treatment program and moving into the next phase. I've been in treatment 5.5 months so I'm scared to be discharged. I have an aftercare dietitian and therapist and like them both very much. We're all working together and I like the treatment plan they have put together for me. Well, mostly like. I'm still not fond of the hard work it takes to recover. I'm working on a couple of things right now that are unpleasant but necessary. I've been told if things don't go well, I can always go back into program. My problem is I've been willful and resistant to treatment simply because it is hard work and falling back into my ED is easier. My program therapist kept telling me that there is nothing easy about an ED and I know she's right. So anyway, here I am. I choose recovery every day but I told all my clinicians it feels like some days I'm yelling 'YES' and doing what I need to do include following my meal plan, and then there are days where I'm just whispering 'yes' and struggle with following my meal plan or working on the things I'm supposed to be working on. I do not yet see a light at the end of the tunnel. They all assure me I've made a great amount of progress but I can only see the things with which I'm still struggling. So I need at attitude adjustment. I'm working on that. That's all.

[mommyoffive]

Thanks for checking in.  That is great that you are moving on to the next phase.   I am proud of you.  I am sending hugs and lots of good thoughts to you.

[PrincessMommy]

Thanks for the update.  Hugs... change is so hard.  Its also so easy to talk about change but the actual doing part is an uphill battle.  Be proud of your mini steps.  

[Lawyer&Mom]

Some days we *all* just whisper “yes.”  Keep up the good work.  You are doing a great job.