skimomma Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 I am surprised no one has started one of these yet this year. We have a handful of family friends each year that has a graduate. We go to the open houses with a nice card. These people are typically in the $50 check category. That is our gift level for "we know the family but are not super close" graduates. And we tend to only give this is we get an open house invitation and/or graduation announcement, regardless of whether we go or not. This year we have two new situations and need some advice on gifts. Situation 1. Graduate is a close friend of our dd's. We are closer with the family in general than grads of yore. Family is significantly financially better off than we are and graduate has a full athletic scholarship to the school she will be attending. We were invited to the open house but will be out of town so cannot attend. If we got the typical check route, how much? We are open to other ideas. I'd say we are on the line of knowing her well enough to think up anything with personal meaning. So either money or a practical going-to-college gift. Situation 2. Graduate is dd's long-time boyfriend. We know the parents and we socialize occasionally but are not super close. He is not having any sort of party, did not send out announcements, and in fact is not even participating in the school graduation ceremony. Family is also significantly financially better off than we are, graduate has a substantial scholarship, and graduate is living at home so will not need any sort of household/dorm items. Obviously dd is very close to graduate but cannot think of anything with personal meaning or even practical use that would make sense for us (the parents.....dd is on her own!) to gift. The closest we have come is a gift card to the campus bookstore. Again, how much is appropriate? I don't want to be cheap but also have to be reasonable. I am not even sure a gift is appropriate if there is no announcement or open house. Help! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 1. In the first category I still think 50.00 is a very generous gift, and I live in a high COL area....and money would be excellent choice. 2. In the second category I feel like money would be odd, since he's your dd's boyfriend, isn't having a party, and didn't send announcements...so I think in that case a nice hoodie from the college and a nice water bottle from the college he would be attending would be highly appreciated. It's one of those things he wouldn't necessarily buy for himself but will really appreciate. Keep in mind I am not MIss Manners so I could be off, but that's how I see things 🙂 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourisenough Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 My DD got a neat gift last year from a family for whom she had babysat for years: gift cards to a few non-chain/independent places in the city where she was going to be attending college (1,000 miles from home). It took some leg work on the giver’s part and showed she really put some thought into it. One was a local breakfast spot, a juice place, an independent bookstore, and one was a famous/local pizza place. That might be a fun, appropriate gift for your situation #1 above. I agree with Calming Tea on situation #2 above. And I do consider myself to be Miss Manners in the gift-giving department, anyway! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 (edited) I would give $35 to #1, $50 to #2. That would fit our area anyway. We have years where we go to lots of open houses (typical in our community -- everyone gives open houses) even for kids we barely know. For those we generally give $15. Nothing more would be expected. Probably a lot depends on your particular area, but in any event, $50 would be my limit for either, and would be considered very appropriate here. On second thought, a gift to #2 might be more appropriate. Even a gift certificate to something? (I'd still set the limit at $50.) Edited May 7, 2019 by J-rap 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted May 7, 2019 Author Share Posted May 7, 2019 Thanks for the replies so far. I know this varies so much by region. $50 seems like a lot to me too but is the minimum, it seems, in my community. Or at least in the circle we run in. I would say $100 is more standard for the situations I am describing, but that has simply been outside of our budget. I agree it would just be strange to give the boyfriend money. That seems so impersonal. And no announcement/party makes it even more odd. But also seems strange to do nothing as he has been a big part of dd's life, therefore ours as well, for over two years. I like the college sweatshirt idea. The only concern is that he is like my dd in being extremely picky about how clothing fits. Even with her help there is a good chance we would pick something he won't end up wearing. I also like the collection of gift cards to local places. That is something I think he would really like. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted May 7, 2019 Share Posted May 7, 2019 We've given our sons' girlfriends cash for graduations but did it in a fun way. We taped up singles end-to-end and rolled them up and put them in a tissue box with the top one sticking out a bit so the recipient would pull on it and would just keep pulling out a long roll of money. They seemed to enjoy that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimomma Posted May 7, 2019 Author Share Posted May 7, 2019 1 hour ago, Kassia said: We've given our sons' girlfriends cash for graduations but did it in a fun way. We taped up singles end-to-end and rolled them up and put them in a tissue box with the top one sticking out a bit so the recipient would pull on it and would just keep pulling out a long roll of money. They seemed to enjoy that. That is really cute! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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