Do you consider homeschooling your 'job'?

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

We will just have to agree to disagree but please refrain from insulting me and others who believe that what we do is of the highest value.

 

I am not saying there is not value in staying at home. What I am saying is that a working mom is just as good of a mother, and in some cases can be better. There are positives and negatives that go along with EITHER choice and it is our job, no matter what our choice, to work hard to accentuate the positives and minimize the negatives.

 

It's sexism itself coming from women in the year 2008 is ridiculous and has no value.

[swellmomma]

So you are equating SAHM with helicopter parent and basing all of this stuff on the word of one psychologist? Obviously we come at this from vastly different points of view. I am one of those rebels who doesn't much care what the "experts", who don't know my kids, say. We will just have to agree to disagree but please refrain from insulting me and others who believe that what we do is of the highest value.

 

You can teach independence without leaving them alone. I recently started teaching an extra 10 yo. My 2 yo is more independent than this kid and she has been away from me for 2 days in her whole life. Independence is highly valued in our home and I am glad I am here to teach it to my children, and any others who hang out for extended periods of time!

 

:iagree:

 

I think some people assume since their child is "perfect" that they have all the answers and only their way is right. We highly value independence in my home as well, that doesn't mean I have to be selfish and show them the world revolves me rather than them either. My world does revolve around them as it should since They are the reason I am who I am and do what I do. I am not a helicopter parent, my son who I was told to institutionalize( by numerous shrinks) is excelling in life, my daughter who I was told (by shrinks) would most likely end up in prison is turning out to be absolutely amazing, because I have returned home to them and made my world revolve around them. I used to work fulltime outside of the home, my kids went to daycare (sometimes with me sometimes without), and then public school. In those situations they were lost causes according to the "experts". While we use a shrink she knows I have fired every other one in the city as I do not put much stock in what they have to say about my kids, because I have proven them all wrong by returning home, and showing my kids that being home with your kids, focusing your energy on them and yes letting your world revolve around them is the best decision a mother(or father) can make. I would much rather be a helicopter parent than a neglectful one, that let the words of some "expert" dictate how I parent.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

So you are equating SAHM with helicopter parent and basing all of this stuff on the word of one psychologist?

 

No, there is a lot of information out there about the harm that can come from a parent being over invested in a child, placing too much control of the life of a child, and not having an identity outside the home.

[Paula in MS]

I find it interesting that someone can equate being sexist with SAHMs. How is it sexist when a woman is doing exactly what she wants to do? Shouldn't we want that for all women, especially our daughters? If a woman wants to have a life that revolves around her home and children, she should be able to. If she wants a career, she should have that. I have a master's degree but I choose to stay home. I gave up a very good career to stay home because I wanted to be with my daughter. How is that sexist?

 

Paula

[Guest janainaz]

No, there is a lot of information out there about the harm that can come from a parent being over invested in a child, placing too much control of the life of a child, and not having an identity outside the home.

 

There might be a lot of "information", but this does not mean that the information is valid.

 

It never serves a child well to have a parent who is spread to thin.

 

I worked up until the day my son was born and my "career" did not give me my identity.

 

My dh and I are raising our boys to become men and it is a full-time job. They will not enter the world still attached to my apron strings because I know the damage it causes and because I love them. But, while they are young, I'm going to nurture and love the heck out of them and I'm going to value my time AND have quality AND quantity. I don't have to choose. I have both.

 

You only get so much time to have impact in the lives of your children before you are sending them off. I'm going to invest my whole being into my kids and I will not have anyone tell me that I'm damaging my boys by making them a priority. When they are out of the house being husbands and fathers - I will rest in the knowledge that I gave my motherhood everything I had and I will never regret that.

 

Women have important roles in the home and society has it all backwards. By the way, I am a helicopter parent. Proudly. I want to know where my boys are going, what they are doing and who they are with. I have to get to know people very very well before I will allow my kids to be out-of-my sight. It is my responsibility to protect them and keep them safe, to teach them right from wrong and love them. I will do so until they are ready to fly on their own!

[Jill]

phwew. of course I can't read thru all posts...

Yes, It's one of the many jobs I have. My two major jobs are Mom and Teacher. Both are very consuming. I am also a duck rancher. (hee hee, 21 ducks...) I aspire to be an orchard keeper and also a decent wise-woman/herbologist some day. - Jill

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I find it interesting that someone can equate being sexist with SAHMs. How is it sexist when a woman is doing exactly what she wants to do? Shouldn't we want that for all women, especially our daughters? If a woman wants to have a life that revolves around her home and children, she should be able to. If she wants a career, she should have that. I have a master's degree but I choose to stay home. I gave up a very good career to stay home because I wanted to be with my daughter. How is that sexist?

 

Paula

 

That is a very admirable attitude. I feel exactly as you do. I also gave up a career to stay at home. It's a choice I think is a wonderful thing for our family, and I'm glad it works so well for other families too. Where the sexism comes in is when other women make judgment calls about working mothers in general. It's one thing to say that working or staying at home is a good choice for you. It's another thing altogether to say it is the only right choice. That flies in the face of everything women have done so that my daughter can have more choices than women who came before her.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

There might be a lot of "information", but this does not mean that the information is valid.

 

Pretty much most of mainstream psychology agrees that parents micromanaging the lives of children and tying up their own identities around other people (also known as co-dependence) are not healthy things. Please know I am not implying that all SAH parents are going to fit this description, most don't. Just like most working mothers are great mothers, while a few can not manage work and family well.

[Jenny in Florida]

Homeschooling is my job. As I think someone else said, if I weren't teaching at home, we'd have to pay someone else to do it. (For a variety of reasons, public school would not be an option for either of our children.) We've more than once sat down and run the numbers and figured out that it is more cost-efficient to have me home than to have me working and then pay tuition for the kids.

[FlockOfSillies]

So you are disagreeing with something you don't understand?

 

Oh, honestly, of all the times to take someone's words at their most wooden and literal level. The PP isn't living in a cave where everyone's living La Vida Donna Reed. :glare: