Sleep Anxiety 9 yr old

[LarlaB]

Eighteen months ago, DS went to a week of summer camp. He had a great time, but developed sleep anxiety upon his return....and had several panic attacks and suddenly could not go to sleep 'by himself'.   I posted about it here- it was quite something.    I used some anxiety naming techniques, calming exercises and deep breathing.  Eventually we got thru it. 

Fast forward to this past August- he started having random episodes where he could not go to sleep.  At the start, he wasn't upset or anxious, but just wasn't tired- and would be wide awake until 1am.  But it then became anxiety about not being able to sleep. Poor dude. We increased his exercise, cleaned up sleep hygiene, started a melatonin/theanine combo quick dissolve pill and I started rubbing his back.  Viola- he was asleep in 5-10 minutes.  

The problem?  I kept on lying down with him and rubbing his back for him to get to sleep....  as long as I do that, he goes to sleep within 5 minutes and has no issues. 

My concern is that I don't want to keep doing this.  Its screwing up my sleep and its really not the best for him.  He has major internal anxiety about not being able to go to sleep on his own.   

Suggestions? 

[MercyA]

A back massager?

A weighted blanket for pressure on his back?

Recorded bedtime stories?

 

Poor kid. I feel for him. 

[City Mouse]

I'm no expert, but I would try to gradually increase the time he is on his own.

 

Either have him spend x amount of minutes by himself before you come in, or sit with him for a set amount of time and leave before he is all the way asleep. Then leave him for a set amount of time and come back in if he is still awake. You could gradually increase your he amount of time he is on his own.

 

One thing I did that I got from a book (wish I could remember the name) was to go through the bedtime routine, then sit in the room in a chair away from the bed without further physical or verbal contact. I would read a book or play solitaire on my phone. The gradually increase the distance of the chair from the bed untill the chair was outside of the room.

 

With my older child, we downplayed the need to actually fall asleep. As long as she was in her bed, and not playing electronics, I did not care when/if she fell asleep. She could read or draw as long as she needed to do so. She also slep with the lights on until she was 12-14.

[mathnerd]

Major sleep anxiety issues for my DS here, since he was a baby - I stay near the bed in a chair until he falls asleep and don't talk or interact. If my DS opens his mouth to chat (which is what he wants to do if he sees me) I get up and leave. So, he has learned to stay quiet and do the breathing and meditating techniques that I ask him to do. We also make his room very dark and we are a quiet household. Now, on most days, it takes him 10 minutes to sleep and on occasion, 40 minutes, but, it is a lot better than seeing him up until midnight.

[helena]

Could you warm up a hot water bottle, pat his back for a bit and leave him to cuddle it till he falls asleep?

I find the hot water bottle very soothing for night time anxiety. It might be a way to slowly cut pat time down.