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LadyT

Guilty Feeling

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Hello! 

 

We have three little girls and I started homeschooling the oldest for Kindergarten this year.  We decided to place the the 3 yr old in a preschool for three days a week so I could focus on school with the oldest on those days.  As the holidays approach, the 3 yr. old is having school programs and parties and I feel incredibly guilty for keeping the 5 yr. old home.  She wants so much to be a part of the fun. We just moved to a small community and there is no local home school groups.  We have talked with her to see if she would rather go to school or stay and do school with Mommy and she wants to continue home school. She is learning and doing well, but I feel like I am failing her on the socialization/fun aspect.  Has anyone else faced this?  I feel so bad.

 

Thanks!!

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It is hard to compete with parties. Just remember that preschool vs homeschool isn't the best comparison.

 

We always take the month of December to do a fun unit study/advent program. This year our focus is shepherds. They will be making needle-felted wool crafts, writing about their experience meeting with a dog trainer who specializes in sheep-dog trials, doing a Bible study on why God chose shepherds as the first people to learn of the birth of Jesus, and studying the current and historic conflict between nomadic shepherds and agrarians.

 

The kids look forward to "Christmas school" all year, and are forever suggesting topic ideas. We always spend more time in museums, volunteerig, and doing crafts than during our normal school routine. We invite friends to join us as often as possible. Their favorite part though, is that we always throw a relaxed movie night party that ties in with our theme. (Really relaxed - friends are only allowed to bring leftovers or boxed treats, and everyone is encouraged to wear sweats and tee-shirts)

 

Find something that you can look forward to, and neither of you will feel left out of the holiday fun.

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That is hard. I know with the two of my girls who are about those ages (6 and 4), the older one wants to do whatever the younger one is doing, even if she DOES have fun stuff of her own. So if I sign them both up for music classes, the older one thinks her sister's class looks more fun and complains about it, and so forth. I don't know if that's comforting at all, or the idea that the things my children end up remembering and loving most seem to be the parties and traditions we create as a family-- and that could be guilt-inducing if you're like me and those things don't come naturally to you-- but things like baking cookies, having daily dance parties, decorating for the holidays...all the kinds of things that would make your 3 year old come home from preschool and complain "why didn't you wait for meeeeee?"

 

I'm sorry about the socialization problem, because that sounds a lot harder to tackle than the fun problem. Are there any local activities your daughter could participate in-- Girl Scouts or choir or sports?-- as she gets older than would allow her to interact with kids more often? It is important, and the nice thing about getting that socialization in is that sometimes your own child will behave poorly afterward and pick up bad habits (and language) that cause you lose that "I wish she were around her peers more often!" feeling.

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We do an activity advent calendar for Christmas.  I think last year (or the year before?) we did an alphabetical one, so on day 1 we did an Angel theme, day 2 Birds and Bells...and so on.  It was something for my home-based kid to look forward to each day.  My schooled child joined in on the weekends, but this was something special that was just us.

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Hello! 

 

We have three little girls and I started homeschooling the oldest for Kindergarten this year.  We decided to place the the 3 yr old in a preschool for three days a week so I could focus on school with the oldest on those days.  As the holidays approach, the 3 yr. old is having school programs and parties and I feel incredibly guilty for keeping the 5 yr. old home.  She wants so much to be a part of the fun. We just moved to a small community and there is no local home school groups.  We have talked with her to see if she would rather go to school or stay and do school with Mommy and she wants to continue home school. She is learning and doing well, but I feel like I am failing her on the socialization/fun aspect.  Has anyone else faced this?  I feel so bad.

 

Thanks!!

 

I have two in public school and one homeschooled so I feel this pinch somtimes too.  We do have co-ops in our area but the first year my son wasn't ready for that so we didn't have co-op parties to substitute.  I always tried to do something special for my home-schooled son (a field trip or special activitiy at home...or even taking him out for ice cream) when the other kids were having class parties.  For Valentines I talked with all his friends moms, grandparents, aunts, and asked them to mail him Valentines (because I knew my other sons would be coming home with bagfulls), and had him send Valentines to them too.  We did special Valentines related lessons with cool science stuff...and even went off plan and tested whether candy hearts burn (they do, and they fizz/melt when they burn...that was quite exciting).  My son didn't even care about missing the school parties that time.    Other times I would just remind my son about the cool things he gets to do that his brothers don't (and yeah, I have to remind my public school kids that too...it's a two way street.  My homeschool child misses out on some things, but so do they.) 

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Another thing...maybe you could volunteer at some of your preschoolers school parties (but ask first if you could take your older, homeschool child with you). 

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I think of the big picture...the things I have heard that is going on in public school (my sister is a K teacher) just makes me feel so much better in my decision!  Sure there are times they "miss out" on those type of things but I think they get over it.  :)  Look for local activities in the area, story time (library), play groups, (there might not be coops but hey you might could start one!  :-)  I would continue to look out for things that you might have just missed.  Good luck!  Hugs, we've all been there one time or another!  ;)

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