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If you mother was dying...


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This is jumbled, I'm sorry...


I visit my godmother yearly and keep up with email in between. In response to my dates for our spring visit she told me she has an incurable cancer. She said she was penciling in my dates, but maybe they wouldn't work. 


I've gotten close to this woman through our visits over the last 10 years. I go and take 2 of my three dc. She's been a really great influence on my dd. She's helped me piece together some understanding of my parents. We've also gotten to hear some amazing stories about her. It's been great building a relationship with her. I can't really convey what this woman means to me here, but she means a great deal to me and my dd. Despite once a year visits and physical distance (9 hour drive), she's been a real influence. 


So, I'm thinking I want to visit sooner. Visiting for me is hard (my work, dd is in college, ds is in a special education program). I figured out I could come in January. 


But she was so vague in her email. She has three dc. I don't really know them.. I've met them. I went to daycamp 40 years ago with her youngest. Her dc do not live near me or near my godmother. Her oldest has very flexible work and a small apartment across from my godmother's home that she uses when visiting. So, I'm sure the oldest is probably rearranging her work schedule to spend most of her time down there. 


Anyway, I don't want to propose a visit and impose on these people. I also would like to know what the situation really is before I take my kids there. I probably won't take youngest. 


I don't have the contact info of my godmother's dc. I did find the youngest on facebook and sent her a message to email me with information so she would know who I was. However, since we are not friends on fb I don't think she will see the message. I can find a business phone number too, but it's just a general number not hers. 


What do you think I should do? should I try to contact her dc and ask them if I can come and how their mother is doing?


ETA If your mother was sick, would you be upset at me tracking you down to ask about visiting etc?







Edited by Diana P.
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When my FIL was sick, people came to see him who were not family.  It was heart-warming and GOOD!  You'll be a cheer to her.  


If she is not pursuing treatment, then she'll probably feel better now, rather than later.  I would just move it up and go as you normally would.  I don't think you have to ask permission from the dc, not if she's still well enough that she's living as she has in the past.  It would be a normal visit, just a little sooner.  


I would definitely move it up.  It's only good.  Things happen, sometimes unexpectedly.  Live with no regrets.  Go visit.  :)

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