tmkclscroggins Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 I'm thinking that aliens abducted my 15 yr old daughter and left a monster in her place. She's always been my easy one, always happy, never grumpy or gripey. Since we've started school this fall, she's turned into demon child! I know part of it will be a hormonal issue every month ( is there anything we give give vitamin-wise for this?), but I don't know how to account for the rest of the time! She in a ballet company this year and is dancing over 20 hours a week, 6 days a week. She loves that! She student teaching some of the little ones and is really enjoying this as well. As for school and home.......she does have a heavy load this year and I did this before knowing what kind of hours she would have to dance this year. She's taking APUSH, geometry, biology, german 2, grammar, writing. Several of these are online classes so we can't adjust the schedule but I don't think we need to. If she would act her age, get up on time in the mornings and get busy ( without dawdling!), she would have plenty of time. She doesn't even leave for dance until 2:30 most days. We've dropped literature and latin and will pick those up during the summer. Her room is a pit, her laundry is getting done and she does nothing to help around the house. We are still doing Algebra 1 - we'll be finished in a couple of weeks but I don't know if she really understands any of it. Do we start over completely? I don't know how she's going to get into college. There's no possible way she'll pass either the SAT or ACT math portions. I don't even know if she could pass the community college entrance exam. I teach the same thing to my 8th grader and he's doing fine. She spaces out when I'm explaining the lesson and then the next morning tells me she didn't understand. How on earth do you find consequences for a child like this? I can't take dance because we've already paid thousands of dollars for her to do this. Help! Melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
love2read Posted September 19, 2008 Share Posted September 19, 2008 We've had a similar situation with two girls, both involved in ballet. Is she in a pre-professional school and on pointe? If yes, can she cut back to 16 hours? If she's not on pointe, can she cut back to 12 hours? We survived this with one dd who is now a kind, productive college student and the other dd just got things under control. My impression is that they are tired from school work and dance, stressed from the competition even if it doesn't seem that way, and mad because dance is easier for them than schoolwork. After having identical problems to yours with our oldest dancing dd, we spelled out the rule that school comes first. Period. If dd didn't do well, which in our family is a B+ average with a fairly rigorous curriculum, than the hours at dance get cut back. If the schoolwork doesn't get done, no ballet that day. We had to cut one dds hours down to 10 for one quarter, which meant she couldn't take the pointe class and she missed out on a part in the production. It's hard to do that, but once they realize you are serious, they change. Follow through and make it clear that the time right now is for studying and dance is the fun part that is an earned privilege and not a right. PM me if you want to talk about it more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm Bay Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 I'm thinking that aliens abducted my 15 yr old daughter and left a monster in her place. She's always been my easy one, always happy, never grumpy or gripey. Since we've started school this fall, she's turned into demon child! I know part of it will be a hormonal issue every month ( is there anything we give give vitamin-wise for this?), but I don't know how to account for the rest of the time! As for vitamins, try fish oil. We use Spectrum, and it helps dd a lot, but she takes it daily. She in a ballet company this year and is dancing over 20 hours a week, 6 days a week. She loves that! She student teaching some of the little ones and is really enjoying this as well. How on earth do you find consequences for a child like this? I can't take dance because we've already paid thousands of dollars for her to do this. Help! Melissa How much sleep is she getting? If I don't get enough, I'm a grump. How is her stress level? How much TV is she watching? TV makes my 13 yo cranky, and my 10 yo now turns into a very cranky girl if she watches. If she's dancing that many hours, plus doing school, she really may be too busy & tired to do chores at that age. Cutting back is one idea, but if you've already paid for it and can't get your money back, then that's no good. As for her spacing out, this could be developmental, related to hormones, etc. At about 16 kids start losing extra brain cells, etc. As for Algebra, some people just have a very, very hard time with it. It could also be that she needs to learn it with a different method than your eighth grader does. As for her hours, it's very, very normal for teens to have a different sleeping schedule, so by sleeping in she IS acting her age:001_smile:. ANd all that physical activity means she needs even more sleep. When my 13 yo is swimming most days (on a team) she needs more sleep than if there's a break for a couple of weeks or a month. Perhaps your dd could do some of her school at night after dance, then sleep in more in the morning. Or are her online classes early? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 I threaten my dd 14 to take her Professional Children's Chorus away ,even if we have paid for it, and to tell her music professor why. :) This seems to help for a while. I'm also trying to do a little more with her. I guess we'll all keep trying since they aren'y "cooked" yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 It sounds like she's overscheduled and exhausted, to me- as in, her life is out of balance and its showing up in her behaviour. I would do whatever is needed to bring some balance back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turnin' 360s Posted September 20, 2008 Share Posted September 20, 2008 I don't have a teenager, but I you can never go wrong pray about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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