Speaking of Respect: What about Kids and Adults

[Karenciavo]

My children call adults "Mr., Mrs. Miss, Dr., etc." I really do not pay attention to what other people do, it doesn't affect me one way or the other.

[~Kirsten~]

Wow, this has been a really fascinating discussion! Thank you all!

 

We've taught our girls, thus far, to go with Mr./Miss First Name. I still haven't decided if Maryland is "Southern" or not, but we did it in Ohio as well, a decidedly non-Southern locale. :D We went with the first name approach because many of our friends have difficult last names and because that's what our closest friends did. I am not comfortable with the Aunt/Uncle designation outside of actual family, but I would do that if that was the overwhelming preference. For us, there needs to be a designation of some sort for adults. I view it as a facet of being polite, and it's non-negotiable. Saying please and thank you are not optional; neither is the way you (a child) addresses an adult. I'm all about removing options for my kids, I guess. :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm more comfortable with Miss because it avoids the Mrs./Ms. debate. I personally prefer NOT to be called Mrs. I don't ever, ever correct people on that, but it grates me. I don't know why. It's probably completely silly, in fact, because I'm so happy to be my husband's wife and to have his last name as my own. But...please don't call me Mrs. :001_huh:

 

So, for us, Miss just glosses over that whole issue. That's probably not terribly polite in and of itself, huh?

 

But Amy (Miss Amy?), thank you so much for your thoughts on the issue. I've got a lot to ponder. I'll be curious to see what others have to say here.

 

ETA: I forgot to mention that my girls are some of the only ones I know here in MD who use a designation for adults. I'm either just Kirsten to them, or I'm "so-and-so's Mommy," which actually annoys me even more than being called by just my first name and almost as much as being Mrs. anything.

[Peek a Boo]

This is a pet peeve of mine. The purpose of manners and respect is to make the *other* person feel more comfortable. So I have my children call other adults what those other adults wish to be called. If it's Mrs. Last Name fine. If it's Miss First Name (which is most common around here), fine. If it's First Name, fine.

 

I personally do not like to be called Mrs. Last Name and it really irks me when someone says that their child must call me that. How is it showing respect to call someone something they do not wish to be called?

 

More important to me than the title is the tone and attitude that they use when they address other people.

 

 

:iagree:

 

ABSOLUTELY!

 

they are to start w/ Mr. Last Name and stick with that unless directed otherwise. i prefer to be called Amy. not Ms/Miss/Mrs. Amy, just Amy :D

 

but I also don't think taking a hat off your own head shows someone ELSE respect either..... i prefer my boys to keep their hats on so they don't LOSE them.

 

"Boy-- is your head cold?"

 

"No sir, I'm just keeping my hat on my head so my hands are free and ready to help others instead of holding a HAT."

 

[Guest]

Oh my. This has been an interesting and enlightening thread. I can't say that I feel much more clarity than when I posted!!!! :lol::lol::lol: Thank you all for your input, though - lots of food for thought!

[GailV]

I like Mrs. Last Name. Dh prefers Mr. First Name.

 

We introduce other adults to our kids as Mr./Mrs. Last Name, and go with that until told otherwise.

 

Once upon a time I read a wonderful anecdote about a dad who preferred to be Mr. Last Name. When his kids' friends wanted to call him by his first name he told them that once they turned 18 they were welcome to come on over to his house, call him by his first name, and have a beer (drinking age was 18). And a lot of kids took him up on this rite of passage. I thought that was a way cool attitude, and apparently so did the kids.

[dawn of ns]

It's almost always first names around here. I think I mihgt actually like last names but it's not the cultural norm here so I'm not going to push it. Besides, the kids are generally pretty good about respecting me.

[Carrie12345]

My mother insisted we call all adults Mr. & Mrs. Lastname... even when the adult in question would protest. It was extremely awkward for me!

 

I introduce people to my children as Mr. or Mrs. Lastname, and let the adult take it from there.

 

Having worked in preschools and being a GS leader, I became comfortable with being Miss Carrie (as dreadful a name as that is.)

 

There are very few kids around here who automatically use Mr. or Mrs., which I do prefer. Unfortunately, they tend to use ds's last name, which is not mine. I've learned to respond to just about anything, so long as it's polite.