Kids, jobs, and expenses?

[BlsdMama]

I'm not sure this goes here, lol.  

 

So, last year, we wanted DD to JUST focus on school, so we asked her not to work.

It worked well.

This summer she worked field work, saved up, bought a car for cash.  She has no payments whatsoever.

The scholarships & grants that she has received covers her tuition, her books, her gas, her parking pass.

 

She's decided to work this year - very part-time, about 15 hours/week.  She makes approximately $400/month plus she eats for free at work on days she works.

 

So.........

 

The question around here is what is appropriate for her to purchase?

 

I have no problem paying her cell bill, it's an additional $10 on account.  She covers her gas.  She eats breakfast and supper at home.  Currently we buy clothing basics, new shoes for the beginning of school year, her winter coat, jackets, etc.  She buys anything she wants for fun clothes or is in the mood for...

 

We were thinking we'd pay half of her insurance and she pays half.  ($25/mo for her.)

That's normal and reasonable, right?

 

This kiddo is a saver.  The only thing she splurges on is books occasionally.  We are thinking of requesting she start a separate savings account for any car repairs, new tires, etc.  

 

Any other "new adult" suggestions?

[Tenaj]

Sounds like a plan!  We've decided that as long as we can we will cover gas and insurance for our college students so we are still paying for our dd's.  Our son got married in the spring and so is on his own on that kind of stuff.  They paid for their own car maintenance and repairs as necessary.  They were always able to do that from what they were earning so it hasn't been an issue of them asking us for help.  They paid for their own cell phones.

 

My oldest dd buys her own clothes unless I see something on a good sale that I think she'll like, then I pick it up for her for fun.  She buys her own toiletries and school supplies.  Sometimes it's frustrating for me because she won't let me buy anything for her.  The other day, she rode along with me to the grocery store because she needed some things so I was able to sneak her stuff through with my order while she was bagging for me in the self-checkout.  Hee-hee.  She glared at me all the way home.  It's fun to buy for them when they don't aren't expecting it or don't want you to!  

 

So far, we've had kids who assume most of the monetary responsibility as soon as they can so we haven't had the issue of trying to wean them from us buying things.  We've been happy to help with the gas and insurance just so they can save a bit but that's just been our own system so far.  Once my younger kids start getting licenses and cars it may be a different story.  Since they are so close in age, if they all start buying cars at about the same time, paying for all the insurance and gas may be cost prohibitive at that point.  We'll see.

 

 

[Pegasus]

The question around here is what is appropriate for her to purchase?

 

 

This is a great question and, of course, the answer is "it depends."  There is no blanket appropriateness, IMHO. Each family must make their own decisions.

 

As long as it is within our family budget AND the student is making adequate progress in their studies, I plan to continue covering the basics and have the student cover any wanted extras.  So, I'll buy groceries and the student can pack lunch or use their own money to buy lunch. 

 

My answer is still hypothetical though, since DD is still job searching. 

[Lolly]

I would keep up with everything we have covered before and allow her to use "her" money as she sees fit. Barring extenuating circumstances, I would feel like I was penalizing her for working otherwise. Hopefully, she will be sticking it into savings to make a nest egg for when she strikes out on her own. Lots of unanticipated expenses when that happens!

[Mom22ns]

I would keep up with everything we have covered before and allow her to use "her" money as she sees fit. Barring extenuating circumstances, I would feel like I was penalizing her for working otherwise. Hopefully, she will be sticking it into savings to make a nest egg for when she strikes out on her own. Lots of unanticipated expenses when that happens!

 

This is my thought exactly. Why work if mom and dad will pay the bills if I don't and I have to pay them if I do? Instead of transferring bills to her, I'd leave her money for discretionary spending. I might not offer to buy clothes anymore assuming she will buy them as she needs them. In general, I would let her take on her expenses as she sees fit - unless you need her to do otherwise.

 

I agree there is no right answer to this. Giving her more financial responsibility is good. You're going to have to find what you're comfortable with and hopefully she will be comfortable with it as well.

[BlsdMama]

It's really odd to me that adult children might not be motivated to work if they are taking on expenses. Wouldn't that be a character flaw? We really would view it as such.... the unwillingness to take responsibility for one's expenses and to work to do so. I'd find it alarming if this wthat their attitude of entitlement. I don't mean to offend Antoine and I'm wondering if a lot of parents really are seeseeing this attitude attitudin your youth?

 

We're just trying to figure out what a reasonable introduction is into balancing earnings, expenses, a budget, and getting them practice at this budgeting and balance between free will spending is.

 

For example, they had to purchase a car in their bbudget. They both worked all summer to do so. They choose to pay cash and not have a car payment. But we had to talk about how it would be necessary to start putting aside money for fix and replace costs out of earnings. They are paying part of their insurance because we want them to feel how their good grades and driving impacts their insurance.

 

So I guess I'm wondering what else people have their kids pay our not pay and how it adds to intentionally raising thoughtful adults who plan and intentionally act rather than spend time, money, etc.

 

 

I think I didn't think through the original post clearly enough. :D

[Teachin'Mine]

People have shared with you what they do.  It's just different from what you plan to do.  ;)  Do what's right for your family.  Personally, I would include the student in the conversation to get their thoughts.  Just as there's merit in spending to help out family, there's also merit in saving.

[creekland]

My guys pay for all their fun stuff and basic needs out of their college work money (movies, dinners, trips, soap, deodorant, etc).  Most of their summer work money goes toward their portion of college tuition, etc.

 

We pay for cell phones, travel to and from college, extra clothes for their wardrobe when they are shopping at home, car insurance, healthshare, most gas when at home, college textbooks, and our share of their college bill overall.

 

When oldest got married he took on all of his expenses without any issues.  He wanted to at that point.

 

I have no problem continuing to pay for what we do until mine are totally out and on their own.  College years are sort of tween years.

[Lolly]

It's really odd to me that adult children might not be motivated to work if they are taking on expenses. Wouldn't that be a character flaw? We really would view it as such.... the unwillingness to take responsibility for one's expenses and to work to do so. I'd find it alarming if this wthat their attitude of entitlement. I don't mean to offend Antoine and I'm wondering if a lot of parents really are seeseeing this attitude attitudin your youth?

 

We're just trying to figure out what a reasonable introduction is into balancing earnings, expenses, a budget, and getting them practice at this budgeting and balance between free will spending is.

 

For example, they had to purchase a car in their bbudget. They both worked all summer to do so. They choose to pay cash and not have a car payment. But we had to talk about how it would be necessary to start putting aside money for fix and replace costs out of earnings. They are paying part of their insurance because we want them to feel how their good grades and driving impacts their insurance.

 

So I guess I'm wondering what else people have their kids pay our not pay and how it adds to intentionally raising thoughtful adults who plan and intentionally act rather than spend time, money, etc.

 

 

I think I didn't think through the original post clearly enough. :D

 

You have multiple children. Would you feel okay about paying for child1's car insurance because they don't have a job, while child2 spends almost their entire paycheck to cover theirs? Now, if child1 decides they want a cell phone which you don't provide for all of your kids, I would have no problem with them paying it (as in I would not offer to pay it for them). I just prefer to keep things fairly even where my kids are concerned. If my family policy is for kids to purchase a car on their own, that is fair. If I suddenly decide to buy one for kid3, I would feel guilty. (in our home, we provide $X toward a car purchase, they provide any additional required for whichever car they decide to purchase.) That doesn't meant ther everything is always equal, I don't keep a ledger or anything, but we try to keep our policies pretty routine as far aw what we provide and don't provide.