s/o - When did you know you were 'finished' having children if the ability wasn't taken from you

[Garga]

After my first was born, I mean the moment he was born I thought, "I can't wait to have another child!"

 

And the moment after my second was born I thought, "Ok, we're done now."

 

I just knew. No drama. No bad experiences. I just knew.

[Momling]

We wanted two. And we had two.  And they're wonderful kids!

 

I wouldn't mind another, but I'm now 40 and not that into it... and my wife isn't interested in another... so we won't have another.  But I still sometimes get a little broody.  Our solution?  We foster.  Whenever we start feeling like we would like a little one around, we get one.  And then I remember why I don't really want another child!   I think we're ideal foster parents in that we already have our own kids and we don't have that aching desire to keep our foster kids as our own... we just feel like we're helping a child while a family sorts itself out.    Our kids are old enough to help and I'm really quite experienced as a mom so it's good all around.  Plus we love to travel and our foster kids invariably end up going on cool trips and seeing neat things they probably never would have otherwise.

 

Anyway, I feel like we're in a good place.  We're taking the summer off from fostering and we'll re-evaluate in the fall.

[6packofun]

When we were just dating (seriously), we discussed kids and I wanted 4, dh wanted 3.  Of course, those were just random, "sounds nice" numbers!  LOL  (Obviously; we have 6.)  When our 5th child was 5 we starting thinking, are we really done?  I dunno, we just knew our family wasn't "complete" yet.  We got pregnant and had a miscarriage.  Tried again 3 months later and got pregnant with dc #6.  That pregnancy SUCKED.  None of mine have been great and maybe it was the tiredness and bummer way that most of my pregnancies turned out/made me feel that gave us that "COMPLETE!!" feeling.  LOL  But we did truly feel like it was time to stop and I didn't want to be pregnant again much after 35 anyhow.  Dh had lost his job and finances were so tricky, too.  I wanted to move on from the baby phase.  So it all worked out that I needed an emergency c-section which sealed the deal and I had my tubes tied then and there as well!  The relief  I felt was just confirmation of our decision!  :P

[torikei]

When I had 4 teenagers at the same time!! LOL

[ThursdayNext]

I have 3, and we are conservative Christians. (My dad even gave me some quiverful book, but I disagreed with it and gave it back.) Back when we were dating, I thought I wanted a big family, and my husband wanted 2.

But when it got to the reality, I didn't really want a big family, it just sounded good in theory. (Rather like getting dairy goats.) 

 

We knew for sure at least 2, and I felt God had another one for us, so we went for 3. (All planned pregnancies. I get pregnant so easily I can pick the month.)

We did feel we should be open to God's leading, so we prayed about it and weighed pros and cons. 

I have daily debilitating migraines for the first half of pregnancy, and also for several months after weaning. It left me unable to really care for the kids during those times. Also, post-partum depression and suicide runs in my family, and I had depression after my second child. We were both unsure that out parenting abilities would stretch beyond 3. And both my husband and I are introverts. We knew with more kids there would be less alone time, and were concerned that either our or our childrens' needs would go unmet, or that we would be grumpy and irritable.

 

I felt we had do do the best to care for the children we already have, and could not put them through another pregnancy, or be worse parents because we were stretched too thin. After praying about it, we went ahead with the vasectomy. We left the door open thinking about foster care, and possibly adoption.

 

I do miss some aspects of being pregnant. I sort of wish I could give birth again, and breastfeed again. And my daughter and I do wish she had a sister. But I am sure it was the right choice.