Rebel Yell Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I need a link/article about purity/modesty/ATI stuff in a nutshell, please. I've been all over Recovering Grace and a few others, but I keep finding WAAAAY too long or too detailed stories, mostly personal accounts. I just need something that sums it up for people who are unfamiliar with the whole situation. I was having an emotional day at the end of a very bad week and I kinda lost my mind over the phone regarding a packing list for a youth group event. I warned the pastor I was upset about other (unrelated) things and was not good at hiding it. Our conversation went fine. I was just a little looney... it had to do with swimsuits- only the girls were given 'rules' for them- such as one piece, t-shirts to be worn over tankinis or 2-pieces. So in theory, a boy could wear a tiny Speedo or a tight Jammer-style racing suit. I KNEW (and told the pastor this) that I did not believe his intention was to shame the girls for being female-shaped, but I did tell him that due to our past history of churches and homeschol groups/family friends who do over-emphasize the 'modesty' issue to the point of belittling the girls who were 'wicked' enough to develop a female shape, that I was just having a hard time deciding which suit to send for my daughters- one of whom could be the poster child for "Baby Got Back" and the other- "DD" stands for more than "Dear Daughter." It was not his intention to "hide" the girls, and I feel terrible that he felt bad about it. I did tell him that any "normal" person would read the packing list and assume he meant "No string bikinis, and bring a T-shirt so you don't get sun-burned." I just want to send him a link so he can read up a bit and have a better idea where we're coming from. I call our new church our "recovery program." So blessed! And I saw photos- the trip is TODAY- the kids look like they're having a great time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa R. Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 If it helps at all, even public schools have dress codes. Without some guidelines in place, there are always a few kids who will wear something that would make the most liberal among us blush. Some kids like the shock or attention. Thus, it's just easier to have some rules in place. So, while I also have a heightened sense of purity/slut shaming tactics, I've also been around enough young people to see why there are some guidelines in place. If that was the only rule like that on the list, I'd let it go. However, if the list is longer or adds the admonishment, "we must protect the boys' eyes" or something even remotely similar, well, then, we have a problem. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acorn Posted June 19, 2015 Share Posted June 19, 2015 I hope they are having a good day. I see no reason for a tshirt over a tankini or bikini. I would have called too. If it really was sun protection related it would have been suggested for all swimmers. Signed, A long waisted shape who has never had a one piece suit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 If it helps at all, even public schools have dress codes. Without some guidelines in place, there are always a few kids who will wear something that would make the most liberal among us blush. Some kids like the shock or attention. Thus, it's just easier to have some rules in place. So, while I also have a heightened sense of purity/slut shaming tactics, I've also been around enough young people to see why there are some guidelines in place. If that was the only rule like that on the list, I'd let it go. However, if the list is longer or adds the admonishment, "we must protect the boys' eyes" or something even remotely similar, well, then, we have a problem. :001_smile: not being snotty, but no, it isn't helpful... I need a link! I understand why there are dress codes, and honestly, I don't even care how restrictive or exact the dress codes are. I *do* care that they are often only aimed at girls, and that was what I actually started off the conversation with. I called the pastor because oddly enough, DD HAS a one-piece suit that actually shows off her curves like crazy, including cleavage. Her two-piece suit is surf-shorts and a zip-up top that completely covers her chest, but shows about two inches of skin where a belt would rest. This is the top, which due to her size/height actually comes lower toward her waist than the model. http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=478186012&vid=1&locale=en_US&kwid=1&sem=false&sdkw=womens-zip-front-swim-tanks-P478186&sdReferer=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.oldnavy.com%2Fproducts%2Fwomens-swimwear.jsp Plus she wears a bikini top under it for support. So her two-piece actually covers more than her one-piece. It would seem crazy to me to cover the two-piece but not the one-piece. (actually, crazy to cover either...) I am hoping to find a link that sums up the "protect the boy's eyes" thing because the pastor was unaware of how big a deal it is to some people, and I didn't want to take up his time trying to explain it poorly while I was upset. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 I hope they are having a good day. I see no reason for a tshirt over a tankini or bikini. I would have called too. If it really was sun protection related it would have been suggested for all swimmers. Signed, A long waisted shape who has never had a one piece suit. Ah yes... I am long waisted too. It makes up for my short stubby legs. :glare: Yes- I also mentioned that having a girl with curves cover up with a baggy t-shirt actually draws more attention to her- as in, "what kind of skimpy suit was she trying to get away with?" And also, if the group was truly concerned with protecting the boys from seeing female-shaped humans, they would not be at a public place where you cannot control what other people are wearing. They had a great time and are on their way home now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 I'll find some options. Here's one: http://www.convergentbooks.com/why-modesty-is-wrong/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Another: http://fiddlrts.blogspot.com/2014/05/modesty-culture-part-2-how-modesty.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted June 20, 2015 Author Share Posted June 20, 2015 I'll find some options. Here's one: http://www.convergentbooks.com/why-modesty-is-wrong/ Another: http://fiddlrts.blogspot.com/2014/05/modesty-culture-part-2-how-modesty.html THANK YOU!!!!!!!! That is exactly what I was looking for! Esp. the secodn one. I knew I read them recently, but couldn;t remember how I found the articles in that series. Rambling around the interwebz trying to find what I needed was just making me too depressed over the whole thing. :thumbup1: Thanks again! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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