Want to homeschool but have no support (Australia)

[Guest mandyjay82]

Hi, this is my first post here, I've enjoyed reading the posts and you all seem very supportive, which I guess is what I need right now! I really want to homeschool my three children, but my close family, including my husband, are all against it. What makes it even more frustrating is that none of them have researched homeschooling, and they assume homeschooling is 6 hours sitting at a table all day doing worksheets. Their argument is the kids will resist doing anything and walk all over me. Their other reason is I am due to have child number 4 in a few months, and that I won't have anytime for homeschooling. I want to homeschool, because where we live the public school system is terrible - bullying happens on a daily basis, the schools prefer the sporty kids, and never have any extra academic programs. There are a host of other problems as well. And unfortunately we cannot afford private tuition.

A little about my children - my eldest son is halfway through year 6 and will be in high school next year (we are in Australia). He is a very talented artist, mainly in drawing. He wants to be a game designer and I have enrolled him myself in a game design course at the local college this month. He is almost 13 years old. He is quite unmotivated and dislikes school because it isn't very challenging for him. He is not sporty at all, although he does ten pin bowling two afternoons a week with other boys his age.

My middle child has just turned 10 years old and is in year 4. He has Aspergers Syndrome and is currently mainstream - the school wants him in special ed (I'm guessing for funding) but I refuse as I think he will fall behind and start displaying behaviours some of the other children do. He is also unmotivated and gets bored easily. He loves Lego and making movies/videos. He has also shown an interest in cooking. At school he gets bullied/pushed around on a daiy basis, but because it doesn't seem to affect him much, hubby sees no problem. Also not sporty, but does ten pin bowling as well.

My only daughter is aged 7 and is in year 2. She is in the bottom class for her year. She has a speech delay and has only just begun to read beginner books alone. She loves being read to, tries to read by herself, and she loves writing and drawing, although she can't spell very well. I just feel she could be further along if she had one on one help. She also loves being outdoors, and she does physical culture two nights a week and bowls with her brothers once a week.

Anyway, I'm sorry this has turned into a long post, but does anyone have any suggestions on how I can convince my husband to try homeschooling? How can I prove to him that it would be best for our children? Also, do you think my children will benefit more from being homeschooled? And any other tips or advice?

Thanks for reading, again I apologise for the long post!

[OneStepAtATime]

Welcome!  

 

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time convincing people.  This is honestly a pretty hard road.  You may very well be right, your kids may do much better as homeschoolers.  Your situation is not ideal, though.  You don't have a single family member, including and especially your husband, who supports this idea.  You have two kids that may need specialized instruction, one on one.  You have a child entering High School, which can be challenging in and of itself and the stakes are higher at that point, at least here in the States, since what happens in High School can affect college and job opportunities.  You have a baby on the way.  None of your kids seem academically motivated at this time.  That's a tough scenario.

 

From my own experience and that I have read of others, usually the first year that you take kids out of ps to homeschool is an adjustment period for everyone.  It takes time to get on a good footing, find balance.  Frequently the kids need a "detox" period to adjust to a different way of learning.  Sometimes kids actually fall behind a bit that first year.  They may actually have needed to go back a bit and fill in some gaps but to an outsider it may look like they aren't progressing, they are failing.  If you have family waiting in the wings for you to stumble, constantly second guessing your decisions and doubting the results, possibly turning the kids against the idea before it ever really had a chance to get started, this may be a disaster in the making.

 

Are there any homeschooling groups in your area?  Have you tried to find out?  Done an internet search?  I would start there.  Get to know the homeschooling community.  After that, I would see if there is a homeschooling convention or at least a gathering of homeschoolers that you and your husband could attend.  Ask questions.  Talk to real families that are homeschooling in your area.  That might help your DH see this is not some weirdo fringe thing or whatever it is he is thinking.  

 

Have you read any books?  If you could read some balanced books on Homeschooling and have your husband read them, too, that might help.

 

Hopefully someone else will have better suggestions.    :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:   Good luck mandyjay.

 

[Arcadia]

Add Australia to your thread title. There are a few Australian homeschoolers here who can give you localised advice.

[OneStepAtATime]

Oh, good advice, Arcadia!  

 

mandyjay, edit your original post and add in Australia to the title so that you can get some targeted help.  

 

Good luck and best wishes.

[Guest mandyjay82]

Thanks for the suggestion about changing the thread title!

 

I'm just really frustrated with my family's opinion at the moment. To be honest, the things my children have learnt is due to exploring during their own free time. I put my eldest son and youngest daughters drawings into our local show this year and they both received an award, my eldest son has made three games already just by reading and learning online. I can understand my husband saying that he thinks they will walk all over me, but of course I would have rules/some restrictions in place. I just want to see my children excel at being well rounded individuals, not just cruise through life, if that makes sense? I just know they are capable of so much more. Also, it makes me so upset when I hear my son is being bullied, he might not be phased by it now, but what happens when it does start to affect him?

[OneStepAtATime]

Thanks for the suggestion about changing the thread title!

 

I'm just really frustrated with my family's opinion at the moment. To be honest, the things my children have learnt is due to exploring during their own free time. I put my eldest son and youngest daughters drawings into our local show this year and they both received an award, my eldest son has made three games already just by reading and learning online. I can understand my husband saying that he thinks they will walk all over me, but of course I would have rules/some restrictions in place. I just want to see my children excel at being well rounded individuals, not just cruise through life, if that makes sense? I just know they are capable of so much more. Also, it makes me so upset when I hear my son is being bullied, he might not be phased by it now, but what happens when it does start to affect him?

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

That's hard.  Honestly, my husband was not on board at first, either.  In fact, there are still times when he questions our choice, even three years out.  Not really for the academics but because our social butterfly son has more limited access to other kids now.  

 

What convinced my DH (dear husband) to even try homeschooling was taking him to a homeschooling convention and our son having an unexpectedly BAD 2nd grade year.  We pulled him mid-year and three years later he still carries emotional scars, poor kid.  While I wish with all my heart that 2nd grade had not been so awful, it DID push DH to realize we had to do SOMETHING and do it right away.  Homeschooling really seemed our only option.

 

I will say that we take this one year at a time.  The whole family decides if it is still working before tackling things again the next year.  That has helped DH to feel like he is part of this decision and I'm not railroading him with it.  One thing I learned, though, was that I could NOT use him as my shoulder to cry on when we had a tough day or my sounding board for brainstorming how to get through a tough area during that first and second year.  Not at all.  Every time I did, he got stressed and worried and wanted to put the kids back in school right away.

[kolamum]

I'm really sorry you're not getting the support you need, that stinks. Have you looked at the Australian Homeschool Forums {Aussiehomeschool.com.au} you may be able to find some support groups in your area & people who can help provide you with information that might be informative to your family.

[Flowergirl159]

Hey, just wanted to say hi. We are in Australia too :)

 

Hope you can the support and answers that you need :)

[IsabelC]

Whereabouts in Australia are you located? There are a few of us on here so there might even be someone close to you.

Have you connected with locally based home ed organisations, either irl or online? There are home ed support groups in every state and territory. Also a few facebook groups, forums and such for Aussie home edders (you can probably find these with a simple search, but let me know if you need any links).

From the brief information you have offered here, it does sound like home education could be a good choice for your family. I have similar aged kids with some of the same issues, and it is certainly working better for us than school did. Regarding your family, it is very common for people around would be home schooling mums to be doubtful, or even outright against the idea. I would suggest that you work on your husband first, and try to get in touch with some new home schooling friends to give you more support. (If your husband is the father of your kids, then he is the only person you really need to convince anyway. If not, you are probably best to get state-specific advice on your rights as custodial parent if the other parent/s might object.) As a rule, grandparents and other relatives who are concerned about kids being pulled out of school do tend to become more accepting over time when they see children happily learning outside of the school system.

[LMD]

Hello and welcome from another Aussie homeschooler! I have 4 kids aged 10, 7,4 & 1. My only daughter is my oldest, they have never been to school (and can pass for normal! ;) ).

 

Where abouts in Aus are you? You might be surprised at the amount of homeschoolers around you, if there's a good group with lots of social opportunities, would that help get your husband on board? Honestly that bit worries me, it can be very hard work to homeschool, and if other family is against you you'll likely need his support... Why does he think they'll walk all over you? Is that his only worry?

If you could show him a well researched plan for one of your kids, something he can respect and your child will find (mostly) exciting, maybe he can get a tangible glimpse of why it might work well...