Bad Mommy Alert: My poor baby

[Elm in NJ]

One of my 7 year old twins jumped off the swing about 3 weeks ago and hurt himself. He cried for a few seconds, then he was back up. The hand was a bit swollen, so I thought it was just a slight sprain. The next 2 days most of the swelling was gone, he was a bit sore but by day 4 , there was only a bit of swelling and soreness. Ice compresses wasn't bringing that swelling down, so I decided we would go to the pediatric orthopedic doctor. Took him in, turned out the bone was broken, but it had started healing but wasn't setting properly. His arm is now in a cast, he goes back in 2 weeks, if it is still not healing properly, they will have to operate to break the bone, set it properly and put it back in a cast.

 

I feel so bad for him. I feel like a child abuser. I thought broken bones were supposed to be painful. He was on the trampoline the same day this happened. I really didn't think anything was seriously wrong. I have 4 boys and they are always getting hurt. You can tell the serious ones from the ones that are not serious. I'll practically live in the Emergency Room if I went there for everything.

 

Elmeryl

[Chris in VA]

Oh, I'm right there with you. I won the Mommy of the Year Award about 7 years ago, when ds broke his wrist and dd broke her leg (both were fractures) in the same week--and we didn't discover it for about a week in ds' case and about 3 days in dd's! Both healed fine--but boy, was I embarrassed and worried that my parenting skills were nil.

[NevadaRabbit]

Took him in, turned out the bone was broken, but it had started healing but wasn't setting properly. His arm is now in a cast, he goes back in 2 weeks, if it is still not healing properly, they will have to operate to break the bone, set it properly and put it back in a cast.

 

I feel so bad for him. I feel like a child abuser. I thought broken bones were supposed to be painful. He was on the trampoline the same day this happened. I really didn't think anything was seriously wrong. I have 4 boys and they are always getting hurt. You can tell the serious ones from the ones that are not serious. I'll practically live in the Emergency Room if I went there for everything.

 

Elmeryl

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Aw, Elmeryl - try not to dwell on it. Surely if it HAD been painful you would have recognized it and gotten immediate attention. We do the best we can do. I have missed ear infections, dropped one baby on a concrete garage floor, let the other one roll off the bed, good heavens. I still cringe at the thought, but thank God for His protection and for good doctors. I hope your little one's fracture heals soon and that your heart heals as well.

[dirty ethel rackham]

My mom did the same. She waited 3 days before taking me in for a "sprained" arm. Since our family had so much "experience" with broken bones (27 fractures among 6 kids), she didn't think it was broken. Then she made me lie that it happened the night before because the insurance would only cover ER visits within 24 hours of an incident.

 

Added: So, no, it doesn't make you a bad mom :)

[Veronica in VA]

Don't feel too bad. At 10 my ds jumped in the pool and came home crying. As this was my "tough" kid, I did take him to the ER. The doctor spent 20 minutes quizzing him on how exactly he got hurt - I think she was convinced that he was abused based on the questions, then told me it was just a bad tendon, and he didn't need an x-ray. I actually asked again for an xray and she said he didn't need one. Two days later we were back and it turned out he had a broken collarbone.

 

I know doctors have to make sure a child isn't being abused (I do social work myself) but she still should have xrayed him. I did complain to the hospital about her.

 

Veronica

[jacqui in mo]

This happens to adults too. My neighbor, big burly strong guy, broke his wrist and didn't realize it until at least a week later. It just didn't hurt that badly to him.

[Mamasteff]

I agree with jacqui - I broke my wrist and didn't know it for two weeks - it was sore but not awful, until one morning I couldn't move and started going into shock.

 

He'll be fine, and what fun stories to tell around the Thanksgiving table!! It will get better. But if you want, I'll order you a "Mom of the Year" Award and you can wear it with pride (I have so many around here for all the things I have done... oh wait, is that UPS outside delivering me ANOTHER one for yelling at my 2 year old before 9 a.m.?? Sorry, gotta run....)

[katalaska]

My dh fell off a rock while we were hiking this summer. He is a former varsity basketball player so he's had tons of sprained ankles (and we have a closet full of splints, braces, and AirCasts to go with them). It looked horrible to me but I don't have a lot of personal experience with sprains, broken bones, or anything like that. He decided it was just a really bad sprain.

 

We came home, he iced it, elevated it, splinted it, etc. He took ibuprofen for the swelling. He went to work as usual the next day.

 

FIVE WEEKS later he mentions it is still painful (and it is still swollen). He finally goes to have it x-rayed. It was broken IN THREE PLACES!

 

(FWIW, I told him he needed to go the ER because it looked so awful when he originally injured it. But he's a grownup and wouldn't listen. He told me if it didn't feel any better by Monday he would go to the orthopedist who treated his wrist fracture two years ago. But he didn't).

 

Now he tells me that he should have just gone to the ER in the first place, because by the time (five weeks after the injury) he finally got it looked at it would have almost been healed. Instead, he had to wear a boot and then graduate to an AirCast (a nicer one than we have in the closet). He's still wearing it.

 

I share my story because sometimes even "adults who should know better" don't realize they've broken their own bones!!!:glare:

[Heather in the Kootenays]

My sister fell off her trike and complained about a sore arm for several days. Finally, the nurse, my mother and the doctor, my father, decided she should get an X - ray just to convince her she was fine. They sent me (at age 10) to the hospital just down the road. Lillian, at that point, couldn't even remember which arm hurt so they X-rayed both. Well, one was broken.

 

Fast foward more years than I care to admit. Ds (then 11) fell and complained about his arm for several days. We finally took him and in and sure enough - it was broken.

 

I figure if my parents with all their medical training could be forgiven for making that mistake, well so could I. And you.

 

But I felt terrible anyway. :grouphug:

[Mrs Mungo]

My husband had to have his arm re-broken once when he was little and it wasn't setting properly. That can happen even when it's put in a cast right away.

 

As an adult, he once fell playing racquetball and thought he pulled a muscle. He finished the game, played two more games (winning all of them), and ran 5 miles the next morning before deciding he'd better go to the doctor and yep, it was broken.

 

It can happen to anyone.