ask a city dweller...

[athomeontheprairie]

alright I love about as far from the city as you can imagine... and I have a question for somebody who lives in the city!

recently we had to travel to the city we stayed with my aunt. it was such a different experience for me and my kids. I couldn't leave kids in the car ( or outside playing) while I unloaded the van. that was the hardest part! carrying the two youngest while they were sleeping up 3 flights of steps and bags of groceries was hard!

how do you get groceries in your house if you have multiple small children? if you don't have a yard, do your kids go outside and play? How, where?

while I was there I took my kids twice to a nearby park. the first time it was only Middle Eastern families, the second time there were only Hispanics. it seemed to me, that certain ethnic groups used to the park at different times by common consensus. Neither I nor my children speak Farsi or Spanish, so we had no one to speak with. if you live in a multi-language communities, how do you communicate?

I have other questions if there are in fact city dwellers that will answer my questions... Tiy

[athomeontheprairie]

where I live in the terminology would be the same. :-) how would you define those terms?

[Amira]

I've lived in lots of different cities, both large and small, in several different countries. We've usually been in apartments.  I agree, it can be hard to live on the 3rd or 4th floor of the building, but you get used to it.  Since we usually haven't had a car in any city, we walk everywhere and shop frequently (usually daily). It's easy to get the groceries in because everyone walks up together, or you could take the baby up first and then come back down for the groceries if you have a lot. It is definitely easier now that my children are older and they don't have to shop with me.    I think frequent use of a car makes city-living harder, not easier. We also make sure to live near a park so it's easy to get outside.

 

I'm usually not looking for people to chat with in a park, but I've always been able to figure out how to communicate when I've needed to.

[athomeontheprairie]

How often do you use the grocery store? Out go out in general? When you go to the park, do you visit with other parents?

most of the friends my kids have are through church. how do you find friends for your children?

where we live I am identified by my family. 90 knows who I am without me telling them. this has drawbacks ( I am NOT judged for who I am but for who my family is. or they are judged by people who know me....) but it also has advantages of having a built-in social system and Friends.

If you live in a place where no one knows anyone else, how do you meet people ( and form connections)?

[athomeontheprairie]

since you don't have a yard how often do you go to the park? do you wish you went more? do your kids?

do you want to send your kids outside to play? or is everyone happy with the current arrangements? you don't leave kids in the car but are they allowed outside unsupervised?

[Starr]

I loved the city with young children. We went to the park almost every day. People were out and about and I was energized by the time I got home for naps. Okay, I often napped too. I had given up the 5 floor walk up by that time. So a good stroller that holds a child and  bags of groceries is a must. Children learn to walk and hold onto a sibling's stoller at a very young age. They don't always want their hand held but they will hold onto the babies stroller and you can grab their hand as you cross a street. I loved the ethnic diversity.

[Julie Smith]

I live in a small city. (Unverisity town, but according to wiki it is a city)

 

I shop at the grocery store in town. You can't take a shopping cart out of the store. The majority of people carry home groceries in bagpacks, rolling carts... 

 

I personally use a 35L bag pack whenever I leave the house. It is something like this: https://www.google.ca/search?q=hiking+backpack&es_sm=93&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=wLdjU_m3BeibygHYwoHQCQ&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ&biw=1129&bih=715#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=ihyhQa_yc532MM%253A%3BmpgvLz01dnb_9M%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.pouted.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2013%252F03%252F59401_422_Internal_Frame_Backpack_Pacific_Blue.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.pouted.com%252Fto-choose-the-best-hiking-backpack-just-follow-these-steps%252F%3B1500%3B1500

 

It can get heavy once you add in library books, groceries, sweaters the kids shed, water bottle, emergency umbrella...

 

If I know I'm going to be getting a lot of stuff my boys can also carry backpacks. But I usually don't have them do this since they prefer to wear a belt with play wooden swords, carry sticks, have a had made bow slung over a shoulder...

 

With my bag I can just walk into the house and drop it on the table. I think the idea of having to load everything from cart to car to house sounds more annoying. 

[AngelaNYC]

Hi!  I live in about the biggest city there is.   :001_smile:   So feel free to ask away.  

 

alright I love about as far from the city as you can imagine... and I have a question for somebody who lives in the city!
recently we had to travel to the city we stayed with my aunt. it was such a different experience for me and my kids. I couldn't leave kids in the car ( or outside playing) while I unloaded the van. that was the hardest part! carrying the two youngest while they were sleeping up 3 flights of steps and bags of groceries was hard!
how do you get groceries in your house if you have multiple small children? if you don't have a yard, do your kids go outside and play? How, where?
while I was there I took my kids twice to a nearby park. the first time it was only Middle Eastern families, the second time there were only Hispanics. it seemed to me, that certain ethnic groups used to the park at different times by common consensus. Neither I nor my children speak Farsi or Spanish, so we had no one to speak with. if you live in a multi-language communities, how do you communicate?
I have other questions if there are in fact city dwellers that will answer my questions... Tiy

 

Grocery shopping was usually done sans kids.  If the kids came, then dh had to be home to bring in the groceries.  I would usually do small trips, though.  We have a supermarket 2 blocks away that I could walk the baby carriage to and throw at least 3 bags of groceries under the carriage to walk home.  When the kids are older and can walk, we walk together pushing a small shopping cart that folds, like THIS one.  

I do have a backyard, but I grew up without one.  I was outside playing constantly.  It was awesome having tons of kids right on my block.  We played hopscotch, box ball, running bases, Charlie's Angels, stickball, skelly, and manhunt.  My kids also always had kids on the block to play with.  Manhunt was still always popular - as was many of the games I played as a kid.  

There have been many times at the park where many of the other parents (and sometimes kids) didn't speak English.  It never stopped my kids from making friends and playing with them all day anyway.  It is interesting now that I look back on that.  I spent my park time watching my kid closely and/or reading - so if other parents didn't speak English, it really didn't matter to me.  But, I somehow still made parent-friends at the park, too, lol.

 

How often do you use the grocery store? Out go out in general? When you go to the park, do you visit with other parents?
most of the friends my kids have are through church. how do you find friends for your children?
where we live I am identified by my family. 90 knows who I am without me telling them. this has drawbacks ( I am NOT judged for who I am but for who my family is. or they are judged by people who know me....) but it also has advantages of having a built-in social system and Friends.
If you live in a place where no one knows anyone else, how do you meet people ( and form connections)?

I was out every day with the kids.  I still try and get out as much as I can with ds even though he's a teen now.  We are able to walk EVERYWHERE.  Everything we frequent is right in walking distance.  Supermarkets, bodegas, libraries, car repair shop, tailor, playgrounds, etc. Anything else is within 15 minutes away by car.  Manhattan and Queens have endless places to go - especially with kids.  And we have always been a part of at least 5 very active homeschool groups that do tons of field trips, classes, and other activities together.  Extra-curriculars abound here.  My kids have done dance, little league, football, basketball, scouts, aikido, shotokan karate, MMA, gymnastics, show choirs, and drama groups.  

I can honestly say that people just don't judge you here.  We live among every nationality, religion, and culture imaginable - and in very close proximity to each other - so there's no room for much intolerance and judgement (yeah there are some who ruin it for everyone else, but not many). 

 

since you don't have a yard how often do you go to the park? do you wish you went more? do your kids?
do you want to send your kids outside to play? or is everyone happy with the current arrangements? you don't leave kids in the car but are they allowed outside unsupervised?

 

Well even with my small backyard, I took the kids to the park several times a week.  There are about 6 great playgrounds we would frequent.  They had friends at all of them.  City kids are outside playing all the time.  The block is the main hub.  

I would never think to leave my kids unattended in the car. This is very different from sending them outside to play.  Playing outside by the house unsupervised (but checking in every so often) is fine.  Leaving kids in a car is not only illegal here, why would anybody do that?

We are so happy with this arrangement.  I would never live anywhere else.  We have the best of all worlds here and my kids have the best experiences.  

[Amira]

How often do you use the grocery store? Out go out in general? When you go to the park, do you visit with other parents?

most of the friends my kids have are through church. how do you find friends for your children?

where we live I am identified by my family. 90 knows who I am without me telling them. this has drawbacks ( I am NOT judged for who I am but for who my family is. or they are judged by people who know me....) but it also has advantages of having a built-in social system and Friends.

If you live in a place where no one knows anyone else, how do you meet people ( and form connections)?

 

 

since you don't have a yard how often do you go to the park? do you wish you went more? do your kids?

do you want to send your kids outside to play? or is everyone happy with the current arrangements? you don't leave kids in the car but are they allowed outside unsupervised?

 

I go shopping on foot almost every day, but almost never to the grocery store.  In most cities I've lived in I do go out a few times a year (everyone 2-3 months) with a car and stock up on some bulk things.  It's easy to keep up with the dairy, meat, and produce on a daily basis.  If I don't have a car at all, I just make do.  I have a great rolling cart that can hold a lot of things and the street markets I shop at have most everything I need.  There's also a little store a few blocks away with things like oil and milk.

 

We have a park across the street and my youngest son is there almost every day with his friends.  We take the older boys to other outdoor things around town about once a week since they're too old for the park. Sometimes I go to the park with ds so I can chat with other parents there, but that's not very often.  

 

We meet people at church, in our neighborhood, through dh's employment, and other ways.  It's usually easy to meet people if you want to.