Perfectionistic 5yo - any advice

[74Heaven]

Hi my 5yob (last born of 5) is a perfectionist. He likes things just so in terms of order. He ends up frustrated (and not at a shortage for words and adjectives describing) how "bad" his letters look.

 

He is reading well (via 100 EL) and writes letters and notes very often just for fun. Like DAD Gt wl sun. (Dad get well soon) - lots of these little sweet notes.

 

The spelling is atrocious (and age appropriate :) so he is not advanced but he *wants* very much to learn to make his letters and write nicely and is so frustrated by their wavy, shaky quality.

 

Other then constantly encouraging him that the letters look nice and are fine letters, he's just beginning, etc. Any other advice on working with a perfectionist 5yo?

 

Out of 5 kids, he is my first one showing perfectionism. It shows up in other areas but I it is a major obstacle in printing.

 

One other thing, I am *afraid* to just let him make his letters any old way (such as for notes) because 1) we suffer from some terrible penmanship with his older siblings and 2) once he learns something it is difficult to reteach w/o major resistance from this adorable 5yob.

 

He very much wants penmanship instruction - he just makes it miserable because he is so frustrated and almost angry at his output. Any rice, sand, etc. exercises are fine - but he wants to put *pencil to paper*.

 

Thanks for tips - Lisaj

***

[Narrow Gate Academy]

My oldest DD was like this when she first began learning to write. I wrote the letters on the handwriting paper in a wide highlighter. Then she would trace them with a pencil. She would never have traced the little dotted ones in a handwriting book because she would have gotten to upset. Having the wider line gave her more room to wobble without feeling like she was making a mistake. You could do something similar with letter stamps as well. My DS (4) has letter magnets that he stamps on his Fisher Price drawing board and them traces. Again they are wide enough to give him some wobble room so he doesn't get discouraged.

 

HTH

[dcjlkplus3]

I would just keep encouraging him and reminding him that practice is the best way to get the results that he wants. As he can see progress being made in one area, he will be able to transfer it to other areas. (example: 6yo is learning to ride her two-wheeler and when she gets frustrated I can remind her that things take time, last year you were getting frustrated with reading, but now you read by yourself all the time, you'll get this too.)

 

All of my kids like it when I make tracing pages for them. I use the kindergarten paper and dot words they choose, lots of names, phrases like happy birthday and I love you and memory verses. My writing is pretty neat so this works for us. They practice making the letter totally right, so I don't have to worry alot about reteaching. I found that if I scan - not copy - the pages we can do them over and over again (without me having to do the dots everytime). I keep the printed, scanned pages in a small notebook that only has tracing pages in it, so they can do them anytime they want.

[rafiki]

.

[mom31257]

Handwriting is exactly where it started showing up with my own 5 year old 3 weeks ago. He is so quick to put himself down, saying that's "horrible". He also doesn't think he's "good" at art or drawing, so therefore, doesn't like it. He picked up a bunch of colored pencils and threw them across the table when I told him to draw an animal for our history project. That was totally unacceptable, and he did receive punishment for that.

 

I started immediately using an attitude system with him, as well as I've lessened the amount of writing that was involved because there is quite a bit in the Horizons Phonics. I purchased student incentive charts at the Dollar Tree with small smiley face stickers. He gets a smiley face sticker for each subject he does with a good attitude. If he gets all smiley faces that day, he gets to do 30 minutes of Playstation that afternoon. Just find what motivates your child.

 

I really had a serious talk with him about it's his attitude that matters most, and that he doesn't have everything right because no one does everything right. I pointed out that a computer printed the letters he sees and even Mommy can't write that well.

 

It's made a huge difference. Our days are going very well! I realize now other signs have been there all along. He's very frustrated with people not doing things by the rules and quick to point it out. I will say he's very good in math, and I think that this may be part of the territory! I have a math degree as well, and have come a long way on mellowing out about things.

 

I hope this helps!

[Osaubi]

My ds(just turned 6) is the exact same way. We do a lot of school that requires no writing or arts/crafts for the reasons already stated. I got some Kumon books for him last year. Everytime he would start a handwriting page I would remind him it is only practice. I think after a year it has sunk in. A new problem arose when I started him on the Simple Sentences Kumon book. He said he doesnt like to write b/c the letters are to small. After some research on this board we are going to try HWOT this year.