tld Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 The standards DS6 sets for himself are simply unreasonably high. It seems that every time he gets something wrong it's the end of the world for him. I've talked talked talked talked talked to him about how normal it is to get things wrong on assignments and how we wouldn't even be doing the book if he got everything right all the time. But all the talk and assurances of loving him the same when he gets things wrong is of no avail. He also cries really easily about these things, so if anything has any suggestions for dealing with a sensitive child who sets way to high of standards for himself, it would be welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 It is not about being Type A. It is about perfectionism. I have a type A and a type B boy and both are perfectionist. My type A perfectionist is hyper sensitive and at 9 he still cries over stuff like that. He has spots in the house where he can go and cry and calm down. He used to cry for more than an hour, now it is more like 5~10 mind. There is no fast remedy, it takes time and maturity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarynB Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I agree with Arcadia. This book on perfectionism, plus gaining some maturity, helped my DS. Your son is young but maybe you could read it with/to him. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1575422344?cache=fd965bf8664a6c8dbbc25c59bfe3f6d8&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70#ref=mp_s_a_1_8&qid=1392944815&sr=8-8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Elle Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 My type A child is my dd11. She is not a perfectionist but is highly motivated to get done whatever is before her. She is very driven and competitive. She has a very hard time being told that something she has done is wrong even if it is something she has not put a lot of effort into. She likes to be in control. I'd like to say that her breakdowns have gotten better but hormones are coming into play now. Being a type B person, it is hard for me to relate to her breakdowns. She says she feels like everything and everyone is against her. I try to make a point that I am not against her and am trying to understand but I do not coddle her. She has a tendency for the dramatic so I simply and calmly let her know that if she needs to cry and let it out, she can do that in her room, but the rest of the family will carry on. In times of non-conflict, because she is so driven to succeed, we talk about tools she can use to help. We talk about attitude a lot too and how a good attitude can help her get far but a bad attitude only hurts her. It doesn't matter how driven or smart she is, a bad attitude will set her up for failure. I also give her as much control as reasonable over her life. I do see her trying to approve but this whole hormone, puberty thing is not helping. She tends only to overreact during certain times of the month. But she comes and apologizes now after she breaks down and admits she overreacted. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it excites me. I believe she has great things ahead of her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Well I just had a round of tears myself because I missed a point on my COLLEGE English assignment. It was one point, but the assignment was worth only 4, so my average was 75%, and the teacher even made positive comments on my writing, it was that missing one point. So I'm not sure if I'll be helpful. :lol: However, at age 6 I might talk through his line of thinking instead of pointing out the black and white of right and wrong, if that makes sense. For instance, if he says 2 and 2 are 5, ask how he arrived at that conclusion. Instead of saying he's wrong, allow him to show you, use manipulatives and give him time to process. When he puts 2 M&Ms (or whatever you use) with another 2 M&Ms and he sees it is four, then he has owned the process and no one told him he was wrong. It's subtle, it's almost the abruptness from thinking you know something and then BAM! you're wrong. For a sensitive person, I think in homeschooling it can appear doubly painful because it's your parent telling you that you're wrong. Also, at 6, I wouldn't do grades, I wouldn't correct papers in red ink, I would talk through anything that needs correction. Sensitive perfections can be led to be less dramatic :svengo: , but every time someone outright tells us we're wrong it feels like this... :smash: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelmama1209 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 following. i have 2 of these. :{ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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