how do you challenge a child -- sorry to be so basic

[momma aimee]

my 2nd grade son is 7 and almost 8 -- he is 2e and we don't have a good DX but it is something like GAD/ ADD and OCD -- he is rather emotional (better on medication)

 

he has tested, 2x, as gifted.  his IQ is not super high, but it is within the gifted range

 

he is working on grade level in everything  he is compliant (mostly) and does his work.  

 

he however never seems to excel and he never seems to spreed though it and he never asks to do more.

 

he still makes many number (but not letters) backwards and his handwriting is HORRIBLE.

 

he is not a strong read, though he does seem to be getting better, finally.

 

i am not seeing ANY "giftedness".

 

Am I not challenging him enough, what does that even mean?

 

should i be pushing more?

 

HELP

 

 

 

[Dmmetler]

One thing about 2e issues (and I say this from the perspective of being a 2e adult now)-a LOT of energy and effort can be spent in compensating. If the focus is too much on "You're so gifted, you should do better" while negating that it takes a lot more effort to perform up to grade level, it can really, really do a number on your self esteem and emotional state. A big bolt out of the blue was when I went through testing again, as a graduate student, and found out that I was clinically LD in multiple areas-but that it had never been diagnosed because, due to my strengths, I'd been able to compensate well enough to stay on grade level. IOW, I wasn't underachieving-I was OVERACHIEVING even more in my weak areas than in my strong ones-it's just that no one recognized it because they looked at the full scale number, not those subscores.

 

What I'd suggest is to unschool after your core. That is, do the regular grade level stuff, and then do all the enriching, strewing, and extra stuff after that point. When he finds something that really catches his focus, that's when you'll probably see where the gifted e comes into play. It may be 100% non-academic. It may be something academic, but not necessarily something you'd expect. But it's there.

 

 

[kbutton]

One thing about 2e issues (and I say this from the perspective of being a 2e adult now)-a LOT of energy and effort can be spent in compensating. If the focus is too much on "You're so gifted, you should do better" while negating that it takes a lot more effort to perform up to grade level, it can really, really do a number on your self esteem and emotional state. A big bolt out of the blue was when I went through testing again, as a graduate student, and found out that I was clinically LD in multiple areas-but that it had never been diagnosed because, due to my strengths, I'd been able to compensate well enough to stay on grade level. IOW, I wasn't underachieving-I was OVERACHIEVING even more in my weak areas than in my strong ones-it's just that no one recognized it because they looked at the full scale number, not those subscores.

 

What I'd suggest is to unschool after your core. That is, do the regular grade level stuff, and then do all the enriching, strewing, and extra stuff after that point. When he finds something that really catches his focus, that's when you'll probably see where the gifted e comes into play. It may be 100% non-academic. It may be something academic, but not necessarily something you'd expect. But it's there.

 

I have a 9 y.o. gifted Aspie, and I agree with this poster. My son tests within the moderately gifted range. Our psychologist thinks his IQ is actually higher (so he functions lower than his IQ because of his exceptionalities). Based on the others in the extended family, he certainly could have a higher IQ. I mention this only because the PP talked about how important it is to distinguish among performance, ability, and disabilities, and those are certainly three different levels for my son.

 

Also, with the issues you listed in your signature, you might be dealing with Asperger's as an overall diagnosis, or you might not realize how extensively non-verbal learning disorder (NLD) is affecting your child (the OCD, GAD, etc. may be NLD characteristics; they are definitely possible symptoms of Asperger's). I am told that NLD can co-exist with Asperger's (or one can be mistaken for another, depending on the point of view and expertise of the evaluator). The checklists for both are very similar. I do know that NLD can affect reading comprehension, and Asperger's can also make it harder to see a character's POV or make inferences in reading. Both NLD and Asperger's can affect motor control or cause dysgraphia (NLD folks supposedly have more extensive issues with motor skills than most Aspies). I know someone who probably has NLD, so I've looked into it, but I am def. more familiar with the Asperger's stuff. My Aspie looked oppositional and a bit OCD (controlling out of a need for stability more than in a compulsive way) when he was younger. If he is stressed, his anxiety manifests as control, opposition, and sensory stuff. He was not diagnosed with Asperger's until a couple of months ago. In his case, his giftedness masked his problems quite well most of the time. His signs of giftedness were more in his personal characteristics. Academically, he did well, and he sought more information on things that interested him. He did not seek out more academic work, and he is painfully slow at working, but he performed near the top of his class (when he was in school) grade-wise. In fact, one of his teachers accused me of being the problem because she managed his quirks pretty well, so he didn't fall apart until he got home. You might benefit from listening to the podcasts or archived broadcasts from the Bright Not Broken folks. It's a radio show for 2e kids on the Coffee Klatch network. http://talkingspecialneeds.com/talking-parenting I have found it to be really helpful. There are other special needs shows on the same network that may have segments you'd find helpful. I know one of the shows (not sure which one) has dealt with NLD for certain, and the woman that was interviewed has a blog about NLD. The Gifted Homeschoolers Forum also has some great 2e resources. http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/resources/twice-exceptional/

[JennW in SoCal]

One thing about 2e issues (and I say this from the perspective of being a 2e adult now)-a LOT of energy and effort can be spent in compensating. If the focus is too much on "You're so gifted, you should do better" while negating that it takes a lot more effort to perform up to grade level, it can really, really do a number on your self esteem and emotional state. A big bolt out of the blue was when I went through testing again, as a graduate student, and found out that I was clinically LD in multiple areas-but that it had never been diagnosed because, due to my strengths, I'd been able to compensate well enough to stay on grade level. IOW, I wasn't underachieving-I was OVERACHIEVING even more in my weak areas than in my strong ones-it's just that no one recognized it because they looked at the full scale number, not those subscores.

 

What I'd suggest is to unschool after your core. That is, do the regular grade level stuff, and then do all the enriching, strewing, and extra stuff after that point. When he finds something that really catches his focus, that's when you'll probably see where the gifted e comes into play. It may be 100% non-academic. It may be something academic, but not necessarily something you'd expect. But it's there.

 

A very hearty   :iagree:   with all of this.  It describes my oldest exactly.

 

Some kids like this excel when learning is NOT confined to typical worksheets or book work.  Instead of expecting your ds to learn using traditional curriculum, perhaps it would be better to provide him with a rich variety of experiences. Allow him to instead do projects, to watch documentaries, to get out of the house and learn through visiting museums or plays or demonstrations.   He will absorb much more than you expect and will connect ideas and information in the most unexpected ways.  You will not get the typical output in the form of nice work sheets and narrations, but he will give you glimpses of his thinking in the offhand comments he makes.  Trust me.  He will come up with comments and nuggets of knowledge that will blow your socks off!  He WILL be learning.  And you will be feeding and nurturing his gifted soul.

 

Think of your school time as being the time you work each day on skills.  Math, reading, writing -- copywork or narrations, some spelling and grammar.  Keep it short but be consistent.  Then spend the rest of the day reading aloud, playing games, letting him explore or create.  

 

This is basically how we did school all the way until graduation.  Building skills bit by bit, then having afternoons free for exploring interests.  My ds did find his passion early on, and we sought out as many opportunities as possible for him to pursue it in depth.  It is not an academic topic, but he is brilliant at it -- his mentors and teachers recognize the giftedness.  The LDs are still there, but he has a "toolbox" for dealing with them, and since he loves the career he has chosen, and is so darn good at it, the LDs are really a non-issue now.

[momma aimee]

I have a 9 y.o. gifted Aspie, and I agree with this poster. My son tests within the moderately gifted range. Our psychologist thinks his IQ is actually higher (so he functions lower than his IQ because of his exceptionalities). Based on the others in the extended family, he certainly could have a higher IQ. I mention this only because the PP talked about how important it is to distinguish among performance, ability, and disabilities, and those are certainly three different levels for my son.

 

Also, with the issues you listed in your signature, you might be dealing with Asperger's as an overall diagnosis, or you might not realize how extensively non-verbal learning disorder (NLD) is affecting your child (the OCD, GAD, etc. may be NLD characteristics; they are definitely possible symptoms of Asperger's). I am told that NLD can co-exist with Asperger's (or one can be mistaken for another, depending on the point of view and expertise of the evaluator). The checklists for both are very similar. I do know that NLD can affect reading comprehension, and Asperger's can also make it harder to see a character's POV or make inferences in reading. Both NLD and Asperger's can affect motor control or cause dysgraphia (NLD folks supposedly have more extensive issues with motor skills than most Aspies). I know someone who probably has NLD, so I've looked into it, but I am def. more familiar with the Asperger's stuff. My Aspie looked oppositional and a bit OCD (controlling out of a need for stability more than in a compulsive way) when he was younger. If he is stressed, his anxiety manifests as control, opposition, and sensory stuff. He was not diagnosed with Asperger's until a couple of months ago. In his case, his giftedness masked his problems quite well most of the time. His signs of giftedness were more in his personal characteristics. Academically, he did well, and he sought more information on things that interested him. He did not seek out more academic work, and he is painfully slow at working, but he performed near the top of his class (when he was in school) grade-wise. In fact, one of his teachers accused me of being the problem because she managed his quirks pretty well, so he didn't fall apart until he got home. You might benefit from listening to the podcasts or archived broadcasts from the Bright Not Broken folks. It's a radio show for 2e kids on the Coffee Klatch network. http://talkingspecialneeds.com/talking-parenting I have found it to be really helpful. There are other special needs shows on the same network that may have segments you'd find helpful. I know one of the shows (not sure which one) has dealt with NLD for certain, and the woman that was interviewed has a blog about NLD. The Gifted Homeschoolers Forum also has some great 2e resources. http://giftedhomeschoolers.org/resources/twice-exceptional/

 

thanks

 

i am starting to see that he maybe "over achieving" to do as well as he is doing.

[MomatHWTK]

My 2e has severe difficulty with normal output measures.  Working a page of math problems is a nightmare for him, even though he "gets" math.  I give him mental exercise by using Coursera and other video based input.  We don't do the exercises that go along with the Coursera courses, but we watch the videos together. 

 

It is reassuring to me to see just how much of a college lecture he understands.  Plus, it is very good for his brain to have the level of input he needs without getting bogged down in reading and writing.