Getting them to hear you!

[lizbusby]

My 4.5 yo DS has had this problem since he was a toddler: he seems to just not hear us when he's concentrating on something. This is somewhat understandable, since he's a very driven, focused kid who get absorbed in what he's doing. However when it takes 10 times of saying his name (or actually having to come over and touch his face) to get his attention, it's really harming our ability to function as a family (and my ability to keep my temper). Also, it makes me wonder if he really can't hear me or if he's using it as an excuse to avoid what I'm asking him to do. It's so hard to tell!

 

Any hints or tips? It seems like this might be a common problem with gifted kids . . . or is it just me? 

[Uff Da!]

We dealt with stealth ear infections last year and Dd became more distractable once tubes were put in. Perhaps get his ears checked just to be sure.

[SanDiegoMom]

My 7 year old son is just like this. He is a deep thinker, and a daydreamer. But his sister is much more in the here and now and never misses anything. This also means that she is always aware when walking in crowded places and never bumps into anyone, while he is all over the place because he is thinking and dreaming. We just accommodate, he never means to be disrespectful, and it does appear that he is gifted in math and logic, while her strengths are physical (dance) and music.

[AK_Mom4]

Well, my super-focused kid actually has a hearing loss that we didn't know about until he was struggling in grade school.  It's just in certain ranges, so a hearing test would be a good idea anyway.

 

But all my kids are like this to some degree - able to hyper-focus on something and tune out everything else - and so am I.  You just get in the habit of walking over to where they are and touching their shoulder when you need their attention.  My older kids say it comes in really handy in noisy college dorms - they put on their headphones and focus on what they are working on.

[bakpak]

Explore the option of auditory processing disorder as well. Try to get his attention when all is quiet versus when other noise is happening in the room. If he hears you only when the room is quiet, this common, but often undiagnosed, issue could be the problem.

[Tracy]

I think it is very normal to expect to have to make physical contact with a 4yo before he will pay attention.  I wouldn't get upset with a child not listening unless I had done that first.