Bar Mitzvah - what to take / what to wear?

[Joker]

Dd's been invited and will be attending one later this month.

 

What should she wear? There is the ceremony with a reception immediately following.

 

What should she give as a gift?

 

Anything else she should be aware of?

 

 

[starwarsmomma]

HI!!!
 

We are not jewish but went to our first ever bar mitzvah ever last weekend!

 

First, you need to call the synagog. I have read that some require a shawl (no idea what it's called) for girls/women.  The one we went to did not for the women, but the males all wore the circle hat things (no idea what that's called, sorry!!!)  They handed them out at the door for anyone needing any-- they looked like baseballs!  So cute!  

 

The one WE went to teen girls were wearing dresses (like church dresses, no sundresses, no sleeveless dresses).  Women wore dressses or pretty blouse and slacks.

Young boys wore dress up button shirt, khaki's, older boys wore ties, dress pants, nice shoes.  Men wore suits.  (hubby didn't wear his suit jacket but did to the shirt and tie and fit in just fine...)

 

It was awesome!  We had a blast.

 

As far as gift-- every single person we saw gave a gift of a card with cash, check or gift card inside.  We did a visa gift card inside a congratulations card for $20 (recommended to me by the gal at the synagog that I called!  LOL)  Good luck trying to find a bar mitzvah card!  IT's hard to find!  LOL

 

If there's a reception afterwards, it will be food she's mostly familiar with.  Only a few things stumped my kids.  LOL

Many will have a DJ and activities planned, so have her bring shoes she can dance in.  :D

 

She will have a blast!  :D

 

 

[Joker]

Thanks for the information!

 

On the invitation is actually doesn't list a synagogue. This one is taking place at a local country club. She has the impression that she is supposed to dress much fancier than she does for church, so I may just have to make a few calls. Maybe the dress is different due to the venue?

 

I was thinking cash or gift card after looking around online.

[Starr]

I would ask her friend what the girls are wearing. Often they wear party dresses. Cash or gift cards make nice gifts. 

[bettyandbob]

My dd went to bar mitzvah a couple of years ago. She wore something that would fit the category "nice church dress". We tried looking for something in juniors, but everything in the junior department was too low cut on top or too short for the skirt. We got a dress in the misses section of Kohls that was sleeveless, came to her knees and a boat neckline. She wore a sweater with it at the synagogue to cover her shoulders. 

 

She got her friend some anime dvds by Myazaki. This is a shared interest of these girls so it made sense. I've attended other Bar Mitzvahs and simply given money. 

[whitestavern]

We recently went to one.  It is very much like a wedding, with younger girls :)  The one we went to was quite dressy, and my research prior to led me to believe that most are dressy.  We are friends with the girl's dad, who told us no sleeveless dresses.  We spent weeks trying to find something appropriate (difficult believe it or not) only to find the mother and daughter in sleeveless!  You might send her with a sweater just in case.

 

I think most people give cash, and multiples of $18 is somewhat traditional.  Just a heads up that the ceremony may be long (ours was 2+ hours) but it is also very interesting.  We really enjoyed it.