This might be burnout, or information overload

[yoyoma]

Looking for other BTDT moms. Really wondering if anyone else has had this kind of homeschooling moment, and the steps they took out of it.

 

ALWAYS, this time of year, I'm so excited to think plans, and start thinking about the framework for the next academic year.

 

This year, I am so thoroughly overwhelmed, that for the first time EVER, I'm not enjoying my usual "time to mull"--

 

I really don't think this is burnout...I genuinely WANT to plan...otherwise, I promise to go back and read all the "avoid burnout" threads on the board :-D

 

The necessary background for point of reference: we've always homeschooled, and I have a 15yo just finished first year high school daughter, a 12yo just finished 6th son, and a just-turned 4yo tagalong daughter. We use a very eclectic student-led style that I cover over a framework that resembles a classic and CM education.

 

I *think* that my problem is:

a) I pulled back from online support boards/chats a couple years ago (trying to avoid "comparison burnout), and in doing so have lost touch with all these new curricula, free online classes, and other amazing things that have evolved in the last couple years...and have anxiety that I am not considering the best tools in my planning

 

and bb) have so many accumulated materials now that I'm not sure I even know what I have, or what is best

 

and c) the spectre of college for my dd15 immobilizes my planning as my brain freaks out continually

 

and d) maybe enough "dud plans" by now, that I know that even if I plan something out, we may not use the work, even though I *do* know by now that what didn't work with DC#1, might be perfect for DC#2, so the work is never really "lost"

 

and e) just overwhelmed by it all...I remember when the Rainbow Resource catalog came in the mail, and it didn't cross my mind to use it as a booster seat. There were no google ebooks covering every topic we could desire...let alone the blogs, pinterest...I digress

 

I could wing it....but I'd really rather not. Life is much better for my middle son, when there is a roadmap and plans for him. My eldest thrives on self-study, but she needs proper accountability as well or she spins in place...

 

I'm sure the best advice will be think simply...I'm a fan of mindmaps...and lots and lots of post it notes for tinkering with sequence ideas...but I feel like this is the first time that it is all...too...much...I don't even know where to start anymore.

 

Thanks for anyone who has read this far :-) and has any advice to share.

 

yoyoma

[Mom0012]

I find myself more overwhelmed with planning as my kids get older. For me, I think it is partly information overload, largely because I read too much on these boards. The fact that so little is considered rigorous enough here does not help my confidence and has led to me constantly question myself. Sometimes I feel like half the people on the high school board are former or current college professors with highly gifted children and I just don't fit into that category. I love reading their posts, but much of the time, I leave feeling more discouraged than inspired. I'm sure some of it is just because I am getting burnt out. For me, homeschooling was fun when the kids were little, but now that we're nearing high school, not so much. My dd just hit the age where she's decided she just wants to be done so she can go off and do what she wants, so she's been resisting (guilting) me a little and this is a kid who always loved school. That's been an adjustment. My son has been in that stage for a couple of years, so to see her entering it has been a little bit of a heartbreak.

 

Anyway, hopefully someone else has some good suggestions for you. I'll be listening in. For now, I'm just commiserating.

[Susan of Croton]

Been there and freaked that, as well. My DS14 "solved" the problem of sleepless nights/college credential freakout by announcing he wanted to go to ps at the end of 8th. We enrolled him and he is in the middle of placement testing, etc. It was harder for me than it was for him. After a month of reflection, I have decided to remain headmistress of his EDUCATION even though I have outsourced his CREDENTIALING to the local ps. N.B. the diff. I am still the strategic planner, the big picture person, and the ps is the day-to-day tactician, fighting the smaller battles of lab work, testing, etc. You might say I promoted myself from major to general with creative outsourcing, and, more importantly, MENTAL REFRAMING. Good luck.

[PeterPan]

Hi Yoyoma, welcome back to the boards! :) Yeah, that's pretty much why I read on here, even though I keep having friends warn me about the extreme dangers in getting into a competitive mindset about hs. It's still fun to see the free things and alternate ideas. And yeah, I here you on the pile of things you won't use. But you I don't think it's a sin to own things and not use them. They were options and your kids turned some down. A woman has to turn down some men, so consider this their first lesson in learning how to choose well. :D

 

So I'll ask you a question. Is your dd starting to think about college seriously and do some of this lifting, or is it only you? You said you're student-led, but YOU are the one doing all the stressing right now and not them? Doesn't seem very fair. I've got a kind of unusual student like that (only engages with what she engages with, needs lots of structure), and I finally decided to distinguish my minimum standards from where she could go if she wants to. And I see cut-off lines and forks in the road where SHE decides that. I'm done thinking it's my job to decide that. Or as someone on the boards here put it (sorry I don't remember who to give them credit!), I'm not going to care more about it than they do. Now that has some limits probably, but at a certain point it really has to be them taking ownership of it. You said student-led, so let's see it. Don't take on stress for yourself that should be theirs. At least that's my conclusion. There are a lot of low-key paths in life, and maybe some kids lead perfectly happy lives on those. Not everyone wants a stressed, high AP, super-impact wow kinda life.

 

Yeah, the RR catalog is totally booster material, lol. I thought they stopped sending them? Now they'll send you a pdf. Their website is enough better that you don't need the print version anyway. Just get off their mailing list entirely.

 

Now for something more practical. On the burnout, we did a huge project this spring, burnt out, and actually we took off completely a couple months. Well if reading about the Tudors (David Loades) and writing LotR fan fiction in your spare time is taking off, lol. But yeah, we took off. Sometimes it's GOOD to do that, and maybe your burnout is partly just a sign it's time? Maybe a longish break will help you recover?

 

Thing two, I find it absolutely impossible to make tight, custom plans that actually get implemented when I make them *9 months* in advance. The dc changes. So if you're trying to do that, that might be why they don't get done. So take off 2 entire months, spend the month of August investigating and rounding up, ramp up at the end, and get going in September. Don't even plan this summer. It's for the birds and you can't plan that far in advance, not with a dc who changes so radically over a course of months, not when it actually matters to you if the dc is engaged or not.

 

Thing three. Maybe your plans need to be a bit different? Maybe more of a syllabus or a time log with expectations? Or maybe you're already doing that?

 

Don't spend time reading old threads about burnout, lol. Go camping 8 times, and you'll feel much better. :)

[yoyoma]

I find myself more overwhelmed with planning as my kids get older. For me, I think it is partly information overload, largely because I read too much on these boards. The fact that so little is considered rigorous enough here does not help my confidence and has led to me constantly question myself. Sometimes I feel like half the people on the high school board are former or current college professors with highly gifted children and I just don't fit into that category. I love reading their posts, but much of the time, I leave feeling more discouraged than inspired. I'm sure some of it is just because I am getting burnt out. For me, homeschooling was fun when the kids were little, but now that we're nearing high school, not so much. My dd just hit the age where she's decided she just wants to be done so she can go off and do what she wants, so she's been resisting (guilting) me a little and this is a kid who always loved school. That's been an adjustment. My son has been in that stage for a couple of years, so to see her entering it has been a little bit of a heartbreak.

 

Anyway, hopefully someone else has some good suggestions for you. I'll be listening in. For now, I'm just commiserating.

 

 

Pastel, the commiserating was like a beacon of light to me. Thanks. Maybe I really am just missing a little connection with other homeschoolers, and when I got back online to dip my toe in I got overwhelmed by all the things.

 

Thank you for replying--sounds like our heads have been in the same space at times.

 

Been there and freaked that, as well. My DS14 "solved" the problem of sleepless nights/college credential freakout by announcing he wanted to go to ps at the end of 8th. We enrolled him and he is in the middle of placement testing, etc. It was harder for me than it was for him. After a month of reflection, I have decided to remain headmistress of his EDUCATION even though I have outsourced his CREDENTIALING to the local ps. N.B. the diff. I am still the strategic planner, the big picture person, and the ps is the day-to-day tactician, fighting the smaller battles of lab work, testing, etc. You might say I promoted myself from major to general with creative outsourcing, and, more importantly, MENTAL REFRAMING. Good luck.

 

 

Susan, I totally respect this decision for you and your son--and love your handling of the transition! Mental reframing, indeed. What a great expression. I have clipped your post to remind myself if we did find ourselves matriculating, how I would wish to reframe it for myself, as well. Thanks for sharing that.

 

Hi Yoyoma, welcome back to the boards! :) Yeah, that's pretty much why I read on here, even though I keep having friends warn me about the extreme dangers in getting into a competitive mindset about hs. It's still fun to see the free things and alternate ideas. And yeah, I here you on the pile of things you won't use. But you I don't think it's a sin to own things and not use them. They were options and your kids turned some down. A woman has to turn down some men, so consider this their first lesson in learning how to choose well. :D

 

So I'll ask you a question. Is your dd starting to think about college seriously and do some of this lifting, or is it only you? You said you're student-led, but YOU are the one doing all the stressing right now and not them? Doesn't seem very fair. I've got a kind of unusual student like that (only engages with what she engages with, needs lots of structure), and I finally decided to distinguish my minimum standards from where she could go if she wants to. And I see cut-off lines and forks in the road where SHE decides that. I'm done thinking it's my job to decide that. Or as someone on the boards here put it (sorry I don't remember who to give them credit!), I'm not going to care more about it than they do. Now that has some limits probably, but at a certain point it really has to be them taking ownership of it. You said student-led, so let's see it. Don't take on stress for yourself that should be theirs. At least that's my conclusion. There are a lot of low-key paths in life, and maybe some kids lead perfectly happy lives on those. Not everyone wants a stressed, high AP, super-impact wow kinda life.

 

Yeah, the RR catalog is totally booster material, lol. I thought they stopped sending them? Now they'll send you a pdf. Their website is enough better that you don't need the print version anyway. Just get off their mailing list entirely.

 

Now for something more practical. On the burnout, we did a huge project this spring, burnt out, and actually we took off completely a couple months. Well if reading about the Tudors (David Loades) and writing LotR fan fiction in your spare time is taking off, lol. But yeah, we took off. Sometimes it's GOOD to do that, and maybe your burnout is partly just a sign it's time? Maybe a longish break will help you recover?

 

Thing two, I find it absolutely impossible to make tight, custom plans that actually get implemented when I make them *9 months* in advance. The dc changes. So if you're trying to do that, that might be why they don't get done. So take off 2 entire months, spend the month of August investigating and rounding up, ramp up at the end, and get going in September. Don't even plan this summer. It's for the birds and you can't plan that far in advance, not with a dc who changes so radically over a course of months, not when it actually matters to you if the dc is engaged or not.

 

Thing three. Maybe your plans need to be a bit different? Maybe more of a syllabus or a time log with expectations? Or maybe you're already doing that?

 

Don't spend time reading old threads about burnout, lol. Go camping 8 times, and you'll feel much better. :)

 

 

first bold: Loved this comparison for curricula. Thanks, OhElizabeth, for a good chuckle.

 

second bold: A very valid question. I don't think I'm doing all the heavy lifting. She has definite goals and is helping map out her progression to those goals. I have outsourced the transcript and application process, and so she will be directly involved with the crafting of that plan with those people. At least that has eased some of the burden of worry (it was also at DH's insistence when we decided to homeschool through high school). It is still in my court to get there though, and DD helps a lot, but depends on me to know what will get her to her goals.

 

third bold: This is a possibility, but this was not a troublesome semester...in fact, except for studying for an sat subject test, we have taken off most of May...that's why I'm having trouble figuring out where my head is. Re: lesson planning in advance, this is absolutely solid advice. I agree wholly, and you are right to bring it up. I'm struggling with even the loose plans though...and as I'm typing it out, I'm thinking maybe part of my brain freeze is also still the transition to high school, with narrowing interests down from everything we want to taste on the menu, to just a few dishes...but still not wanting to leave anything out.

 

fourth bold: THIS. My plans need to be a bit different.

 

This is where I am. Not sure how to proceed from that...I guess more mulling on "how to plan" than I'm used to. I'd like a plan to go forward like, week one: cruise blogs and boards for what is current curricula and college application-wise, week two: organize clippings and bookmarks, week three: narrow down subject choices and organize resources on those subjects, week four: order specifics as needed (or enroll).......just babbling--not thinking hard about this, but that's maybe what I need to do for the first time is have a gameplan for sifting information for planning before planning (boy that gets a bad writing award LOL)

 

last bold:

A great idea, and totally made me smile. Thanks.

[PeterPan]

This is where I am. Not sure how to proceed from that...I guess more mulling on "how to plan" than I'm used to. I'd like a plan to go forward like, week one: cruise blogs and boards for what is current curricula and college application-wise, week two: organize clippings and bookmarks, week three: narrow down subject choices and organize resources on those subjects, week four: order specifics as needed (or enroll).......just babbling--not thinking hard about this, but that's maybe what I need to do for the first time is have a gameplan for sifting information for planning before planning (boy that gets a bad writing award LOL)

 

last bold:

A great idea, and totally made me smile. Thanks. You're welcome. :)

 

Wow, that's very sequential! Me, I have a spiral bound notebook and lots of loose paper. When I research online, it all goes onto loose paper and popped into a folder. Then in my notebook I hash everything out for each subject. Hmm, I sort of just let things appear, then I dump them into my notebook to get them off my brain. Once the ideas are in my notebook, I can stop thinking about them. We can change what's on the paper, but at least I'm not thinking about it anymore.

 

You know when I read that paragraph, my crazy brain was hoping you were saying you were taking a CRUISE to go planning. Cuz I'm pretty sure a CRUISE would help us all! You invite us along and we'll all "plan" hahaha... :hurray: :hurray: :hurray:

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Have you tried searching some of the "what are you doing for grade x?" threads?

 

That might be a great source of inspiriation.

 

For my oldest we have also searched a bunch of colleges she is interested in to find out their expectations. They we built a chart of 6-8 courses a year and filled in general ideas (ie blocks for math, English, foreign language, etc.) and then started getting as specific as we could.

 

Or at least that is how we started in order to avoid the deer in the headlights effect.

 

Hang in there--my kids are about the same ages as yours and that is one crazy spread to deal with!

[yoyoma]

Have you tried searching some of the "what are you doing for grade x?" threads?

 

That might be a great source of inspiriation.

 

For my oldest we have also searched a bunch of colleges she is interested in to find out their expectations. They we built a chart of 6-8 courses a year and filled in general ideas (ie blocks for math, English, foreign language, etc.) and then started getting as specific as we could.

 

Or at least that is how we started in order to avoid the deer in the headlights effect.

 

Hang in there--my kids are about the same ages as yours and that is one crazy spread to deal with!

 

 

 

You guys are really helping me think this through...thanks for that.

 

I do have the general blocks worked out...I used the UCalif admissions minimums as our minimums, and are working around that framework...it is the specifics bugging my eyes out.

 

So in thinking in the conversations in my heads with you ladies (thanks again!) I think I have stumbled across what my main paralyzing point is...........

 

DD has outgrown me.

 

I am now out of my depth. No wonder I don't know where to start.

 

I started with full confidence that my education and background could get us through high school, but that was when we were using TOG, and felt confident in my liberal arts to get her where she wanted to go. I was really enjoying the planning and collecting, and discussions.

 

After all my careful TOG planning, she very clearly pointed out what I had been too obtuse to recognize....

 

she is a math and science kid.

 

Why was she spending so much time at history and literature when we had been doing it *all along.* (her emphasis)

 

I realized if I kept going, she was going to resent assignments, so we waaayyyyy backed down on the history/english/literature, and she happily ensconced herself in her math and science books. She agreed to finish a world history course on her own and take the sat subject test so that we could put history to rest for her (we plan to do the same for us history this next year, but I want to see the subject test results first).

 

That leaves me planning her math and science but still needing to round out her english/writing skills with her "buy in." It could be time to outsource, but my gut says, not yet.

 

Wow. Okay, self-realization moment there. That's what's happened. I sat down to start mulling and planning like I do every year, but had to research and plan science and math, and then found out about coursera, and then went OMG what else have I missed! And started panicking, and reading threads about all sorts of other new things that I was blissfully unaware of, because I was happy on my own TOG-concentrated trail....and got absolutely overloaded.... I recently stumbled on Aops math (she is thrilled), she started looking at the coursera classes, and was like "Oh, I wish I'd known about this one! And look they don't have that one anymore!" and I'm like eeegads, I have to LEARN THE ENTIRE INTERNET! :svengo:

 

Well, I feel like I've been in a therapy session and had a breakthrough.

 

Thanks, all...I need to reframe my thoughts, and I will also as suggested (bold) read some what are you doing for x threads...

 

Climbing off the roof........ ;)

yoyoma

[Mountainmama]

when that happens to me, I pull out all of our resources and weed through them. I save only what I know we will use for sure within 3 years (which is easy now that I am down to 1 tenth grader). Then, I decide what are the absolutely most important of all subjects - not according to what is "required". I then plan a block schedule M-F (not a daily but a very general one that only lists time allotted per day and subject and spines). I remind myself that my son will be primarily teaching himself and that I should therefore not take this scheduling to seriously. And then .... I PANIC! At that point, I am left with no choice but to set it all aside for awhile, knowing that when I do come back to it, I will take my handy dandy planner and (with something good for me and good tasting as an incentive/snack) I will plan day by day only one subject for 1 term, and I will allow only the predetermined allotted time for that subject. Usually, once I have 1 subject detailed in the planner, the rest comes easy - and by the end of the summer I usually have the entire year charted. Never fails though (even after 28 years!) that as the academic year comes to an end, I am once again racking my brain, weeding, and panicking. Ah, who am I kidding - I LOVE the cycle of curriculum craze.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

All I can add is don't be afraid to outsource-be that open courseware, dual enrollment, one of the many online class offerings out there, tutoring, co-ops, syllabi submitted by our fellow board members, etc. I've made heavy use in the last year of the teacher guides and the internet companions to our science and math text books to support me. Occasionally I need to remind myself that help and outsourcing are just fine and that there isn't some homeschooling rule book or overlord who will punish me for getting help or finding experts to guide my kids when they grow beyond my abilities.

[yoyoma]

when that happens to me, I pull out all of our resources and weed through them. I save only what I know we will use for sure within 3 years (which is easy now that I am down to 1 tenth grader). Then, I decide what are the absolutely most important of all subjects - not according to what is "required". I then plan a block schedule M-F (not a daily but a very general one that only lists time allotted per day and subject and spines). I remind myself that my son will be primarily teaching himself and that I should therefore not take this scheduling to seriously. And then .... I PANIC! At that point, I am left with no choice but to set it all aside for awhile, knowing that when I do come back to it, I will take my handy dandy planner and (with something good for me and good tasting as an incentive/snack) I will plan day by day only one subject for 1 term, and I will allow only the predetermined allotted time for that subject. Usually, once I have 1 subject detailed in the planner, the rest comes easy - and by the end of the summer I usually have the entire year charted. Never fails though (even after 28 years!) that as the academic year comes to an end, I am once again racking my brain, weeding, and panicking. Ah, who am I kidding - I LOVE the cycle of curriculum craze.

 

Bold one: Brilliant! Hmmmm, wonder if I could pitch my huge tent in the backyard, put all my books and things in it, sort through my resources AND camp at the same time? I wonder if they would miss me? :laugh:

 

Bold two: This reminds me of when mine were younger, and I planned a "flow" for the day, rather than certain times. Makes sense to be flexible with the older ones as well.

 

Bold three: Bwhwahahahaha. Thank you ladies for making me feel less crazy. I can only imagine this gets harder each year (high school, I mean), not easier. If I'm ready for the looney bin now, I don't have much hope.

 

Thank you for the voice of experience and reason. I have found some more threads on the board (particularly the chemistry thread) that are calming my fears...I am NOT reinventing the wheel....others HAVE successfully trodden this path....and I CAN DO THIS. (There, was that convincing? I tried... :rolleyes: )

[yoyoma]

All I can add is don't be afraid to outsource-be that open courseware, dual enrollment, one of the many online class offerings out there, tutoring, co-ops, syllabi submitted by our fellow board members, etc. I've made heavy use in the last year of the teacher guides and the internet companions to our science and math text books to support me. Occasionally I need to remind myself that help and outsourcing are just fine and that there isn't some homeschooling rule book or overlord who will punish me for getting help or finding experts to guide my kids when they grow beyond my abilities.

 

 

I believe you are dead on here. My hesitation to outsource is to be tied to other's timetables. We have a weird ebb and flow with our schooling (very intensely for a month or two, then huge breaks) due to dd's dancing. Perhaps that just takes more research on my part to find an outsource possibility that would work with. Thanks for mentioning it.

[Susan of Croton]

Dear Yoyoma, you stated that you feel paralyzed with the gnawing fear that your dc has "outgrown" you, and is turning out to be STEM oriented rather than humanities oriented, which is your strength. This is a temporary feeling which will pass once you get your internet "sealegs" again. Good luck! Of course, your DC is really just coming of age intellectually, and all of the liberal arts foundation and solid grounding is now in place. You have in a sense, "done your job" providing a humanizing, ethical, and historical framework for a young person who is (perhaps) rushing toward a STEM field in our technocratic society. DC would probably never have gotten that foundation in any other way. GOOD JOB! :hurray: Technical training without ethics, history, and an appreciation of humanity through art, literature, etc. arguably leads to an amoral result. I thank you personally, for the enriching gift you give us all by presenting our world with a well-rounded future adult! Never doubt for a minute your contribution and your own inherent value-addedness here. Cast away forever the word "outgrown" for that applies to clothing, not good ideas coming from good people.

[yoyoma]

I think this is the most validating thing anyone has ever said to me. It was like the perfect performance review right when you are ready to quit.

 

Everyone should hear this said personally if they are teaching high schoolers whether they be homeschoolers, afterschoolers, outsourcing, insourcing, or just trying to better the character of the next generation.

 

Thank you, Sarah, for sharing these thoughts...you have righted my boat, and put wind in my sails.

 

:grouphug: Group hug for all moms.