Learning and rewards... do you use them and how?

[Yolanda]

Just wondering about rewards and if you use them with your children when it comes to learning, not chores.

 

 

This is something I've chosen not to do for my now (almost) 11 y.o. for various reasons. Well, recently I thought about it and to encourage more self initiated learning, I made some charts for a few subjects and when the rewards would be given. After two days or so, as she was going after the rewards, it just didn't sit right with me. I didn't like it for various reasons. (I'm purposely being vague as i know some people use rewards)

 

So, if you use rewards, could you enlighten me as to the good you see coming from it? Because, if I'm missing something, I want to be open to other opinions on rewards and the good they do.

 

Thanks!

 

Yolanda

[Jyniffrec]

I use rewards for subjects that are very difficult for them to get through. The rewards go away after they have learned about how to slog through it. I will also occasionally use rewards if they are having a very difficult time getting through a particularly challenging lesson. I have one child that isn't motivated by rewards at all, so she doesn't get them. I try to stay flexible and to address various situations appropriately. I will also give my kids challenges that end with a reward (i.e. each child gets to pick out something at Target when they have read their first 100 books). My boy likes the challenge that leads to the reward as much as the reward itself.

[Julie Smith]

The only reward/bribe my kids get is for piano.

 

When you play piano you get some fruit-loops.

 

At first it was a certain amount of playing for each fruit-loop. (ie. for Youngest it was one line of music). Now they just help themselves to a handful or two after practicing.

[IrishMum]

No rewards for school work over here. I do let my kids earn time on video games by doing chores so thats like a reward. I think learning is enough of a reward, but I will occasionally give a reward for a job well, but it's not a given.

[amyrjoy]

We just began a reward system this past week. The kids have taken to it fast and have learned some valuable lessons. I can message you more info privately tomorrow....I'd rather spell it out that way than note on the board. Not for all subjects, but some.

[Farrar]

I don't have a really hard stance on rewards in general, but I have a great dislike for structured rewards like reward charts. I have never seen a situation where they didn't turn into a "grade grubbing" style situation. In the end, I think with most kids, the work to make the reward work is more trouble than it's worth. The exception is that I know some kids who are not neurotypical may need that type of extremely structured, regular feedback in order to make behavior changes. So even though I'm not a huge fan, I've seen them be effective when nothing else was and therefore worth the bother with kids who have challenges to behavior. But for a normal kid to try and motivate them? I think it's a band-aid solution that is a lot of work for the band-aid applier.

 

I think anyone who isn't familiar with Alfie Kohn's thesis and is considering a reward system should read just the intro to Punished By Rewards. If you're not swayed, then reward away. Like I said, we don't have a hard policy against them and I definitely use them occasionally. I like random small rewards and I like celebrations of hard work. But I think it's worth considering the case against them if you haven't.

[Nancy Ann]

When my son was really young I gave rewards for reading books. I was hoping that once he started reading he would really start to love books. I know for me personally, it can take a bit to really get into a book and than I can't put it down. So, I was hoping it will encourage him to keep on reading the book and try other books. But, it didn't work. Rewards just did not motivate him. Fortunately, he is quite obedient and so when I assign him a book for school he will read it.

 

I really don't like using rewards because in general I want my children to do things because it's required, it's good for them, I ask them to etc.... But, there are situations where it could be helpful and with some kids it may be a good thing. I think it's worth a try and if it does not give good results than it's no biggie.

[Kathleen in LV]

You might enjoy this book (I found a copy at my library): http://www.amazon.com/Punished-Rewards-Trouble-Incentive-Praise/dp/0618001816/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1366046142&sr=8-1&keywords=punished+by+rewards

[Yolanda]

Thanks for your input, ladies. Your replies helped me.

 

(Hi Nancy Ann!)

 

I've read Alfie Kohn's book years ago and loved it and that's some of the reason I've not used rewards. The ideas therein really resonated with me. (I've yet to crack open 'Feel-bad Education...and other contrarian essays on children and schooling' lying on my stack of books.)

 

When I look back to when I was 'in the mood' for the reward system, I can see I was in one of those panic stricken cycles that are typical of some h.s. moms. (not my first for sure :) Taking time to talk it over with IRL friends, read a great book of Tammy Takahashi's 'Deschooling Gently', and reading these replies helped me get a grip again. So much better (and less expensive) than a 'paid' ear, IYKWIM

 

So, I so appreciate your thoughts, ladies :seeya:

[GSOchristie]

I, like PP, want Asher to read, because I know the more he reads the better he will get, and the better he gets, the more confident he will feel. So for every 10 books he reads, he gets a personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut :). I upped the requirements (now he has to read Level 2 or 3 books, or the AR equivalent), so it remains a real reward. It worked like a charm, he gets the book first thing in the morning and reads it to me, sometimes he will do 2 a day if he's feeling ambitious ;). We worked all year on Memory of Excellence for CC. Last week they had an award ceremony where he got to stand up front and be recognized and got a medal and a certificate. He has barely taken the medal off since, he is so proud of it.

[Mom-ninja.]

Well, if my kids finish their lessons they are allowed to "play" Khan Academy. If they don't finish then they are not allowed on Khan Academy. So is that a reward for getting lessons done or a punishment for not?

 

I reward myself with secret chocolate in my room to congratulate myself for surviving another day. Does that count?

[PentecostalMom]

Not really a "reward", but my dd loves art so that is her last thing to do each day. She has to get all of her other schoolwork done. It is part of her education so I am not sure I consider it a reward per se.

[T'smom]

I use m&ms and jelly beans with my 5year old who is still laboriously sounding things out. Serious improvement in just a couple weeks. He used to get one per word and now he gets one per sentence. It's already phasing out. So it's not like I'm going to be handing out m&ms when he's reading Moby Dick. For us, this is one way to make it a little less painful. And we are gaining fluency by the day!

 

I haven't tied rewards to my other academic thing. For him, math is enjoyable on it's own. The phonics just needed a bit of sweetening. ( another plus is that I get to eat m&ms during phonics!)