Why are we doing this again? Panicking...

[justkeepswimming]

I know it's not February, but I am looking at my dd's high school years and feeling like an enormous ticking time-bomb is the elephant in the room. :bored:

 

In our state, once you homeschool for 9th grade, you are pretty much set for the long haul. DD and I discussed this at length and decided to troop onward. We're here - in March - near the end of her 9th grade year. Things have gone well. We've established that she loves science and math, art and music and wants to take as many classes with those topics as possible.

 

Those topics are, of course, my weak spots.

 

So, here I sit, looking at online classes and advanced placement options and I am overwhelmed and sincerely panicked. I am half-tempted to go to the high school tomorrow and see if we can enroll her for the last 2+ months of school to finish out 9th grade so she can make SURE this is what she wants to do!!

 

Looking at the school websites, they offer Advanced Placement Enviro Science (free!), band classes (free!), Advanced Math classes with instructors who could thoroughly answer any upcoming questions she may have (she never has questions for me, but we're coming up to the point in math where I never went, so anything beyond this point is going to be beyond me), art classes (free!), science clubs, foreign languages (free!), swim team (not free, but - it's available!!).

 

With me staying home, we don't have the disposable income to outsource ALL of her interests, but I am not feeling all that up to the task of adequately meeting her needs now that her true interests have taken hold. She is such a bright girl, so self-confident, hard-working, and self-motivated... but I worry that *I* am holding her back. Chemistry is next year. She will *love* Chemistry. But, I am not confident about my ability to teach it to the level that she (as a STEM sort of kid) will need.

 

This is a different panic than I felt before 9th grade started. This year has gone well so far, but I'm looking ahead and seeing the giant dollar signs in front of me, and am feeling extremely unsure right now.

 

We don't homeschool for religious reasons. We homeschool for educational quality, But, now that she's in high school... her "learning habits" are established - she loves to learn. Part of me thinks that our journey was, perhaps, to establish THAT in her personality, and that maybe now I should set her free to USE that in the presence of people who have already been there, done that, and can help nudge her along in the right direction without all this self-doubt her mother has at this point.

 

I'm truly surprised that I am feeling like this at this point. We love being together. But... I'm scared.

 

(I still have 2 more kids at home - one will be in 8th grade next year so this same decision is looming. But the 2nd child, I am nearly positive, will stay at home. She is surrounded by a ton of friends her age, and she is not quite as academically motivated as her sister. The third kid, though, is just like his oldest sister...)

 

Gah - help! Is this normal panic, or what? Our local school district is meh, but it still seems to offer so many more opportunities than I can offer her. :sad: I'd only consider if they will let her transfer to another high school (not the one we're assigned to). Maybe I need to see if that's even a possibility first.

[kewb]

Being in the same boat as you, I think this is normal panic.

[Susie in CA]

I do think it is normal panic.

 

My oldest will be in 9th grade this fall. I am going through the same feelings. Most of all I am realizing how expensive all the 'cool' things are. Of course, I don't work so I don't have the money to pay for a whole bunch of these extra-curricular activities. I go back and forth between sending him to school so that he will get lots of activities and getting a job so I can pay for them. I don't like either idea. Even his regular 'classes' will start to cost a lot more money, though, some will be free.

 

I am with you. However, ultimately I still think staying home and learning things our way is the best way. So, we will continue and I will continue to feel anxious about it. But I will also know that it is the right choice for us. Most of the time in life the right choice in not the easiest.

[SkateLeft]

I know this probably isn't going to help much, but I went through that state of panic periodically every single year. As the previous poster said, it's totally normal.

 

My daughter is very STEM oriented. She's off to study chemical engineering in the fall with a hefty scholarship. I outsourced the courses I didn't feel comfortable designing or teaching, or used instructional materials that provided plenty of support (Chalkdust for math). It's not cost effective to outsource everything, so really focus on the areas that you feel you can't learn alongside her. My biggest expenses were in science and math, but there are more free and low cost options out there now than there were even a couple of years ago!

 

In 11th and 12th grade, she started dual enrollment at a local college. We're fortunate enough to live in a state that pays for academically qualified high school students to take dual enrollment classes.

 

I think it's important to realize that you don't have to know everything in order to help your daughter through those courses. It sounds like your daughter is motivated and self-disciplined and this is especially true in that case! In fact, it can be more helpful to a kid to have a parent say, "I don't know this, but I'm willing to learn along with you" or "I'm willing to help you find resources to learn it." My daughter feels ownership of her education, because she knew that we were a team. As we progressed, I became less of a teacher and more a facilitator.

[Nan in Mass]

I continually panicked over my STEM student, but we sent oldest to public high school after homeschooling middle school and I didn't want to do that again, so we did community college instead. He probably would have gotten a better science education at our very good public school (judging by his cousin, who is taking AP classes). But... this is going to have to be good enough. I was grateful that I had the resources to be able to outsource lots of things. Our state doesn't pay for community college, although mine did get a few scholarships.

 

Is it possible for your daughter to do some things at the high school? I could have sent mine there for AP classes and band, if I had wanted to. I think I would try to make a list of some of the extras - math competitions, science fairs, science competitions, robotics, music lessons, community orchestra, historical re-enactment fife and drum band, high school band, youtube how-to art videos, art competitions, AP classes, AoPS classes, fun science textbooks (like The Illustrated Guide to Home Chemistry Experiments), volunteer opportunities at the science museum or wildlife sanctuary, internships, community college classes, etc., and then try to get some idea of how much each would cost. Then I'd show the list to my daughter and ask her to pick one or two expensive ones and a bunch of inexpensive ones and see if the end result would be satisfactory.

 

Nan

[hsbeth]

 

 

In our state, once you homeschool for 9th grade, you are pretty much set for the long haul. DD and I discussed this at length and decided to troop onward.

 

First of all, I remember feeling this same panic. Honestly, it hasn't let up and my oldest is now a junior. We went through the same process of discussion with our older two during the summer after 8th grade and together decided to stay the course. It's been difficult, but worth it.

 

May I ask what state your are in? Our local schools don't accept home school credits for transfer either which means you are essentially committed for four years, but we've found a way around that by using an accredited umbrella program. That gave me tremendous peace of mind personally. I no longer fear what would happen if circumstances led to the decision to enroll in school during these high school years. I think of it as an insurance policy of sorts and its been worth the small hassles and bit of extra paperwork for us.

 

We've also made extensive use of dual-enrollment and plan to continue. The reality of the high school years for us is that I slowly phase out of teaching. We make use of co-ops and online courses as needed (there are inexpensive solutions out there) in 9 and 10th. Beginning in 11th we make use of dual-enrollment. I'm more of a guidance counselor than true teacher these days.

[Lori D.]

Yes, panic is normal! I spent all of older DS's 9th grade year like this: :willy_nilly:

 

But the farther you go into homeschooling high school, the more confident you'll be. What ESPECIALLY helped ME was to:

 

1. Set a few overall goals to accomplish (high school is your last window of opportunity, and time is limited, so pick the top 3 things you really want to accomplish and focus on those).

 

2. And make a high school plan (what credits you plan to cover, and when/how) -- but be flexible to meet changing needs and interests). Once I had my one-page plan and "mission statement" of overall goals, I could keep referring back to it throughout high school. Takes a LOT of the stress out.

 

 

And to encourage you:

 

- You have already cleared the hugest hurdle!

9th grade has gone well. DD loves to learn. You love being together. Goodness! You can't ask for a better situation for homeschooling than that!

 

- You can still change your mind!

Even for the senior year! And it will be okay! If homeschooling high school seems to not be working, then check out the local public, charter, and private schools. And yes, you will feel much calmer once you know what your options are -- if transferring to another district is possible, etc.

 

- You still have options!

Even if a brick-and-morter high school is an "all or nothing" situation in your area.

* DVD lecture course and pay for a grading service

* local tutor

* homeschool co-op class

* dual enrollment classes at the local community college or university

* online classes (specific classes from The Potter School, Derek Owens, Laurel Tree, etc.)

* distance high school (such as Amerischool)

 

- Take advantage of the opportunities around you

Cherry pick! Let DD explore interests. Many public high schools allow homeschoolers to join their extracurriculars: band/orchestra, sports, after-school clubs. But if they don't allow homeschoolers, then...

 

- Get involved in community opportunities of interest:

* youth theater

* junior strings/orchestra

* speech/debate team (there are homeschool ones!)

* 4-H (it's not just about farm animals!)

* mock legislative/judicial group (model UN, Youth & Gov't, Junior State of America,

* junior military cadet group (Civil Air Patrol, Sea Cadets, Junior ROTC)

* parks and rec class of interest (pottery, jewelry-making...)

* participate in NaNoWrMo

* do an unusual activity NOT available at the school: horseback riding, martial arts, fencing class

* book club

 

Check out these past thread for ideas of opportunities:

Extracurricular activities for high school

What extracurricular activities for high school?

Finding extra-curricular

 

- Worried about the cost?

*many organizations offer scholarships or partial scholarships

* ask if a grandparent would sponsor one of DD's interests and get regular updates from DD

* have DD do fundraising (how do you think all those school clubs raise THEIR money?!!) -- it's a great way to learn even more leadership skills

* work exchange not many activities have this option, but ask -- do stable work in exchange for horseback riding/lessons; clean the gym/studio in exchange for fencing or martial arts lessons, etc.

* encourage DD to work and earn the money for her interest (babysitting, yardwork, dog-walking/litter clean up, work in a church daycare or mom's morning out, make and sell jewelry, tutor younger homeschool students...)

 

- Research just ONE thing at a time.

Take the things that have to be accomplished in high school in STRIDE. Sounds like you are trying to research and decide about TOO MANY things all at once and it is freaking you out. This month, choose ONE topic; set all others aside; research it; come to a decision (if that is appropriate at this time); set it aside; RELAX. When NEXT month rolls around, pick a different topic to research; rinse; repeat.

 

So, for example, for this month, make it your goal to research what your options about public high schools are. Over the course of next week, sit down and write out all your questions, all the things you want to know about:

- how to enroll your child

- is it possible to pick the school

- what does the school require from you if you were to enroll your child (transcripts? course descriptions?)

- does your student have to test to prove credits or do they make the student start from scratch

- what are their policies for allowing homeschoolers to take just 1-2 classes

- what are their policies for homeschoolers to participate in: sports, after-school clubs....

- how do you go about taking an AP test at the school

- can your student take just the AP class and test

 

Then start doing some online searches to find answers. Then when you've learned all you can online, go down to the high school, ask to make an appointment with the administrator who would be able to work with you in answering your questions. Sometimes seeing the school's attitude toward you (positive or negative) will really help you decide whether b&m school really is going to be a possibility -- or not. If they are welcoming and inclusive -- great! And if not, then you can cross that off your list and move on to start researching other options. You may find this "high school time table" helpful for realizing what things can be shelved for awhile, and which are more needed to be dealt with in 9th/10th grades.

 

 

Welcome to high school -- the REAL difficulty is not so much "can I do it" -- but rather, "there are SO many options -- how do I choose?!" :laugh: BEST of luck, and remember to relax and enjoy your high school adventure -- how exciting! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[justkeepswimming]

Well, you all talked me off the ledge. :willy_nilly: DH too, once I unloaded all my thoughts on him on his lunch break that day. lol!! Poor dh...

 

It's just hard to see so much potential in her - and not feel utterly responsible for every little thing. If she achieves her goals - that's all her hard work and effort. But, if she misses the boat ... well... I feel like that's on me. All of these dates and minute details for college prep, scholarships, camps, opportunities - those are not my strong points either. I want to hire someone to keep ME on track!! lol

 

 

---

 

edited to add: In our area, there is 0% possibility of participating in any high school activities or classes. We can register to take tests (PSAT, ACT, AP, etc) but that's it. Signing dd up at this point in the school year would result in her having to take summer school classes to gain credits for the classes she's taken all year unless she takes THEIR subject test and scores above 90% on it. :/ Not likely going to happen considering she's used different textbooks than their tests are geared for. So - knowing that made the decision a ton easier.

[Gwen in VA]

If it helps, my youngest of four is a junior. My first three are doing really well, so I should be very comfortable with #4, right? No!

 

I still get the "what am I doing?" jitters! I think they are a result of caring ENORMOUSLY about the results!

 

Relax, enjoy the journey, and realize that jitters are just part of caring.....

[Nan in Mass]

I keep wanting to tell you that you are panicking because you are a sensible person who can see that homeschooling high school is a totally horrifying amount of responibility. But then I don't because it wouldn't be very helpful. But I decided to post because you probably already know that if you keep thinking, "I must be crazy even to be considering this." The answer to that is that really, when it comes down to it, it isn't any more horriying than the responsibility one takes on when one carries one's infant out of the hospital or any more horrifying than the amount of power a stay-at-home mother has over a toddler. All parents have the ability to do great damage. Anybody that doesn't panic from time to time over that must be made of much sterner stuff than I am lol.

 

Nan

[Lori D.]

I keep wanting to tell you that you are panicking because you are a sensible person who can see that homeschooling high school is a totally horrifying amount of responibility.

 

 

 

:smilielol5:

[justkeepswimming]

I keep wanting to tell you that you are panicking because you are a sensible person who can see that homeschooling high school is a totally horrifying amount of responibility.

 

*snort* :001_tt2: So glad you posted this after I'd calmed down a bit. ROFLOL It might've been enough to send me off the edge. :willy_nilly: :rofl: Oddly enough, it really is comforting to know that others who take this seriously are or have been just as panicked as I feel. If it's normal, then I know dd & I can deal with it. And if I screw anything major up, hopefully dd will always know my heart was in the right place...

[Susan of Croton]

Justkeepswimming, I'll panic with you about high school! You'd be panicking anyway if you quit hsing, so you may as well stay at your wheel... just a few more years, the best ones, really, as they blossom into adults and then are gone into their own lives. Then you look back with pride!