Pamela H in Texas Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Kat, I *think* that we have six months, that if they can't do it within six months, she gets shipped back to Texas. And of course, I will BEG the worker to please give my baby back if that is the case. I do have a slight concern. Usually, when a child is given to kin or fictive kin, it is during the time the family is working services, so the parents still have rights. That is not the case here. So with them being the ones with custody, maybe that isn't what would happen. Of course, I will be sure to let them know that if they decide she would be better with us, we will do whatever it takes to bring her home. I just gotta figure out how to say that without invoking....well, seriously, how would YOU take that? Though they were unable to see how this was a bad idea despite everyone else I talk to seeing it, I'm hoping they will be strong enough to give her up if they see this was a bad idea. At the same time, more than ANYTHING, I want them to succeed. I know that sounds weird because we want her so bad. But it is bad enough she is going to have THIS change. She doesn't need two huge changes. I couldn't prevent this one, but I'm hoping they can prevent the next. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 As for quitting fostering.... This is the only time we've disagreed with the real plan. With each child, it has been REALLY hard to send them home or send them on. But usually, I agree with the plan which makes it easier. I tell myself that is how it is supposed to be. This time was different because Monkey's lawyer didn't originally agree with the plan and gave me false hope, even legal advice (though part of that was to speak to our own lawyer). I simply cannot believe that anyone thinks this is a good idea NOW. Was it 14+ months ago when they needed a placement for her (kin she was with couldn't keep her)? Yes. Was it when I first got her? Yes. But 11 months later? uh, no! But it was like once they decided this was what was going to happen, it didn't matter what was best for Monkey anymore :( ETA: I never really got back to quitting or continuing fostering. I simply don't know. Obviously this doesn't mean I don't want to help kids or add to our family. However, do I really want to be party to hurting children which I've seen the system do over and over? At the same time, though the system is doing that, there needs to be someone there daily countering that hurt with love. But on a more personal note? How? Put another baby in her bed? with her toys? She isn't replaceable! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebeccaS Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 :( Your last post has really resonated with me. You know I'm about to head into the same situation. I was told we should have some news by week's end-this is the longest week of my life. Every time we go through this, I say this will be the last time. I take a break for a few months and then do it again. We still want to add to our family, but it just doesn't seem to be God's will right now. I get so frustrated with the system that does not take into account the children's best interests even though that's what they claim they are doing. We had a newborn-straight from the hospital. Had her 6 months when they filed for PC. She had 3 sibs we were unable to take, so they found a family to take all 4 kids-the 3 sibs had so many issues. The social worker said it would never work, to let the baby stay with us. Nope. No dice. Moved our baby. Two months after they moved her, the family bailed and they moved the kids again. The worker TOLD them it was a bad idea to move the baby. I still miss the girl to this day. I still get teary eyed when I think of her. She'd be 3 now. I didn't have the heart to ask if the next family adopted the kids. I was afraid it would break my heart. Was it really in her best interest to take her from everything she knew to place her with siblings she'd only met a handful of times? To take her from a stable home only to move her again 2 months later? /sigh/ I really despair for the foster system sometimes. I will keep you all in my prayers. God bless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that this isn't working the way you had hoped and that this will mean yet another transition for your foster daughter. I also completely understand that once a child grabs ahold of your heart there is always a piece of them still there. Prayers for peace, strength, courage, and healing through your grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 I'm so sorry Pamela. Sometimes all we can do is keep breathing and try to remember that God knows the beginning and the end. ((Hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.