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Dc driving...HOW did you let them go out on their own???

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Ds has had his learners for a few years now.

Even though ds has been driving with me for a while, he doesn't seem to be ready to be on his own. He still makes dumb(couldn't think of a better word!) driving mistakes. He doesn't use common sense!!!! I would assume he would know most of the things he is making mistakes at, but he still does them. I don't have to correct him much, but it seems the things that I am correcting him on, he should know better and they are very dangerous mistakes! Dh thinks he is ready even though, dh has only ridden with ds 2 or 3 times since he has gotten his learners!!

I have ds drive us everywhere we go, so he will have the experience behind the wheel. We have not let him drive down town(we just don't go)...I don't even like driving down town, but I think it would be a good experience for ds. Dh says we had to learn when we moved here, but I think we were more mature than ds is now. Even though ds has more driving experience in the city than we ever did.


How in the world do you let your kids drive on their own??? I am going to be a nervous wreck, when ds does it, which will be in the next few months!!

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I'm guessing you meant to say ds has had his learner's for a few months, not a few years?


If so, I'm in the same boat with you. My oldest ds JUST got his learner's permit. We're working our way out from the sidestreets. He's got a long way to go yet. I'm trying to get at least 30 minutes a day in with him and am trying to vary our routes so he runs into as many situations as possible. So far we have not let him drive on any road faster than 40 mph and I find myself avoiding left turns, but that will come. Right?????


Where's Shanmar? Her daughter just got a real license and she doesn't have white hair.

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...I understand what you're feeling (I think), even though my ds seems to be an excellent driver. It's still hard to let go.

{sigh} I hate to give this advice, but I can only think of two options I might take if I were in your place.

1.) Have him take an additional course of behind-the-wheel training, and make sure the $ for the class comes out of his pocket.

2.)(this is the hard one...)I think if it's been a couple of years, then you've probably done all that you can do, and you might need to just let him go. It's possible that what looks like awful driving to mom, might look fine to the rest of the world. I'm a perfectionist, and I have to really guard against pestering my ds for perfection in his driving. If you're a Christian, this might be the time to tell yourself, "I've done what I can with this", and then turn it over to the Lord in prayer. Obviously, if you truly believe his driving is so bad that he's putting others in drastic and dramatic danger, you will have to intervene and insist on no license. Maybe you could have a few other responsible drivers take him out and give you their honest critique?


(who's going to have 5 new drivers within the next 6 years! :eek:)

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It's one of the hardest things I've ever done...watching my dd drive off on her own the first time and wondering if she could possibly be really ready.


At some point, you just have to let them go. HOWEVER, my 17 yr old ds does not have his license and won't until he can pay for the extra insurance. He's not ready yet anyway, but he's well aware that his operator's isn't in the near future.

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We can not and will not pay for a car..he has to pay for it himself and the insurance and until he does, he isn't able to get his license! NO KIDDING!!

Insurance on him will run us $2500 a year and I would be left car-less..NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!


Gotcha - our sons will also be paying for their own insurance and cars.


If you've put in a few years, I'd drop it. Put the whole thing on him. Maybe that will light a fire under him?

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My son starts drivers ed next week and it is very scary to think about. I think its really the first thing that my son will do that I don't have some level of control over. When they drive off that first time all on their own I think is a point where we lose a part of them to themselves.......its a big step.........for them...........and for us

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Ok your post made me laugh. YOu sound just like me. DS had his permit for a couple of year and got his license about 8 mos ago. It was very hard for me when he first started going out on his own. I knew that he knew what to do and the boy drives like an old man, so slow. Now that said the inevitable does happen and this morning I got the call that a girl had run a stop sign and nailed him. They are both fine and I await the verdict on my van. But the reason I say this is not to scare you but to say I thought my son made stupid driving mistakes and the whole bit but when driving on their own they do better. Also the police told me not for son's quick thinking to try to turn instead of slamming on his brakes (which I would have done) he saved the girl from serious injury. I think boys often seem out to lunch on things and like they don't have common sense but when we let them grow up and try that they do surprise us.

Good luck


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