How do I help dd replace this bad habit with a good one?

[Mrs. A]

Dd1 (age 4.5) has gotten into the habit of talking REALLY LOUD when she has something to say. I remind her over and over (and over and over) again to use an inside voice, and when I can get her to actually stop talking long enough to hear my reminder she immediately tones it down and talks normally. This has been going on for quite a long time now and I am wondering how I can help her break the habit of using the loud voice and replace it with her normal voice without the constant reminding. Is it even possible??? I would really appreciate any ideas or advice.

 

Thank you.

[Robin M]

I have a son with a loud voice as well. I'm constantly reminding him to use his indoor voice or tone it down. It's just how he is. His father too. Part of it is too that they need you to be looking at them when they talk, otherwise they think you aren't listening. So teach her to get your attention first before she begins talking. My son loves to yell at me from another room. I keep telling him unless he can see the whites of my eyes, I can't hear him properly. A whole nother issue. As long as you've had her ears checked and you know everything is normal, then all I can say is patience, mom. Oh and come up with signal for her so she knows she talking too loud. Hand wave or something.

[jeninok]

Have you had her hearing checked?

 

I'm loud, partially it is my hearing, and the rest is that I'm just loud.

 

My DH had significant hearing loss, when we finally started treatment I warned him for weeks that I truly did not mumble or talk softly. He was still a little taken aback.

[Mrs. A]

It hadn't occured to me to have her hearing checked. I will be sure to do that.

I like the idea of having her get my attention first and having a signal so she knows she is being too loud.

[mktkcb]

Maybe start with having her learn to put one hand on your arm and the other over her mouth? That way, she's not talking, and she has a way to gently let you know she has something to say. So, say when she starts talking really loud, don't say anything, just go physically lead her to where you were, place one of her hands on your arm, and place her other hand over her mouth. Something physical to replace the habit with. I have just found that giving my kids something they can DO as opposed to trying to get them to STOP DOING something works better in the long run. ymmv. Once she has done that, you can pause, then, "Did you want to tell me something?" etc etc...

[Barbara H]

I'd also suggest role play or playing with dolls to practice different voices. You can make this silly and fun. Try a whisper voice, high voice, deep voice, whiny voice, loud voice, scary monster voice, etc. This really helps some kids start to notice the differences when they haven't heard them before.

[Katy]

Once you've checked that her hearing is normal, tell her that you will no longer listen to anything that's not an indoor voice when you're indoors. Then when she's loud first respond with, "What was that?" or "Excuse me?" with one eyebrow raised. The first few times you might need to add a "I can't hear you unless you speak at the proper volume." She must repeat in the correct volume for you to respond. Eventually just a raised eyebrow will work.

 

FWIW, this is also how my family teaches "Ma'am," "Sir," "Please," and "Thank you." It should work in less than two weeks.