fidgeting - when is it too much?

[blondeviolin]

My son is a young five. He's got quite the fidgeting going on. He does not participate in any form of story time willingly. He is fine when he is actually the reader or whatever, but any time he is required to listen to a story, he gets really annoyed...even if there are pictures. If I give him something to fiddle with while I am reading, he becomes so encompassed in doing that that he is not capable of telling me what happened in the story.

 

He does enjoy non-fiction books. He also likes history once he gets past the idea that I am reading him a story. He is capable of pulling out the important facts and details.

 

He's a very active boy who does a lot of bike-riding, swimming, running, jumping, and a ton of outside play.

 

He has been a handful in his church class (with his agemates who are also all boys) because he's been hard to pull into the lesson because he's busy being silly or the class clown.

 

It also might be pertinent that he has been tested gifted. In his church class, I believe part of his issue is that the lesson is geared toward the other boys in the class and so he gets bored easily. BUT, any time he deems the class/lesson/story boring, he becomes a huge distraction. He is a fast processor and retains facts/stories/ideas quickly when he cares to.

 

Is this age? Should I look into some testing like ADD or SPD issues? (FWIW, he has cousins that have SPD, but ADD does not run in the family.) Or do I assume that when he is bored, he will act out? (And if so, how do you deal with such behavior? Not everything can be tailored to him.)

[FairProspects]

I think he would get along great with my youngest who just turned 6 today!

 

Nothing is sounding red flags to me for about SPD in your post (no experience with ADD). An SPD kid will be crashing into people and walls without knowing why, or melting down over water on their face, or freaking out about touching glue. Most of what is written in your post sounds like run-of-the-mill active boy to me.

 

With my youngest, we do try to avoid situations that are not accepting of active boys. Library story time was a terrible fit for us and I just gave it up. For situations like church, we work hard on laying out expectations ahead of time, getting out some of the activity (I've even had mine running laps in the church parking lot out of the way between services), and rewarding like crazy for good behavior. I know some of the bad behavior is b/c mine are bored also, but we have had many a discussion about that not being an excuse to act out or be rude. Some of life is boring and waiting, and they will have to learn to keep their thoughts and hands to themselves in those situations. But, I do try to avoid structured classes whenever possible. They are just not a good fit for my active, creative, curious, on-the-go boys!

 

Now forts, flashlight tag, nature hikes, ramps, racers, and rockets - we do those really well. :D

[blondeviolin]

I think he would get along great with my youngest who just turned 6 today!

 

Nothing is sounding red flags to me for about SPD in your post (no experience with ADD). An SPD kid will be crashing into people and walls without knowing why, or melting down over water on their face, or freaking out about touching glue. Most of what is written in your post sounds like run-of-the-mill active boy to me.

 

With my youngest, we do try to avoid situations that are not accepting of active boys. Library story time was a terrible fit for us and I just gave it up. For situations like church, we work hard on laying out expectations ahead of time, getting out some of the activity (I've even had mine running laps in the church parking lot out of the way between services), and rewarding like crazy for good behavior. I know some of the bad behavior is b/c mine are bored also, but we have had many a discussion about that not being an excuse to act out or be rude. Some of life is boring and waiting, and they will have to learn to keep their thoughts and hands to themselves in those situations. But, I do try to avoid structured classes whenever possible. They are just not a good fit for my active, creative, curious, on-the-go boys!

 

Now forts, flashlight tag, nature hikes, ramps, racers, and rockets - we do those really well. :D

 

I can't tell you how comforting this is to hear!

 

I KNOW that he's active and I KNOW that he's bored at times. I also know that his church class issues come from it being a class of 5/6 5yo boys.

 

I feel like I'm stabbing myself repeatedly when I just ask him to listen to a story for a FEW MINUTES!

 

I know he CAN focus because when its time to do science or anything that he deems interesting, he does fine.

 

 

 

 

On the ADD front, I looked at a checklist of ADD and this is what I found:

 

Symptoms of inattention in children:

Doesn’t pay attention to details

Makes careless mistakes

Has trouble staying focused; is easily distracted

Appears not to listen when spoken to

Has difficulty remembering things and following instructions

Has trouble staying organized, planning ahead, and finishing projects

Gets bored with a task before it’s completed

Frequently loses or misplaces homework, books, toys, or other items

 

The only one that fits here is appearing not to listen. But I'm pretty sure that's intentional as he told me a few days ago, "Smetimes I hear you and pretend I didn't." Lol

 

Symptoms of hyperactivity in children:

 

Constantly fidgets and squirms

Often leaves his or her seat in situations where sitting quietly is expected

Moves around constantly, often runs or climbs inappropriately

Talks excessively

Has difficulty playing quietly or relaxing

Is always “on the go,” as if driven by a motor

May have a quick temper or a “short fuse”

 

Like I mentioned, he is fidgety, definitely!

He can have a short fuse but nothing else really fits...

 

Symptoms of impulsivity in children:

Acts without thinking

Blurts out answers in class without waiting to be called on or hear the whole question

Can’t wait for his or her turn in line or in games

Says the wrong thing at the wrong time

Often interrupts others

Intrudes on other people’s conversations or games

Inability to keep powerful emotions in check, resulting in angry outbursts or temper tantrums

Guesses, rather than taking time to solve a problem

 

He does act without thinking, but he waits in line and takes turns fine. He doesn't interrupt any more than any of my other kids. He is an extraordinary problem-solver.

 

I'm still :bigear: if others wanna respond. :D

 

I bought The Way of Boys, so I'm hoping it'll be a good read for me. He goes through spurts like this that drive me crazy. I'm also hoping the book will have some ideas or techniques for parents.

[kiwik]

Sorry to hijack your thread but is spd sensory processing disorder? I have a five year old son who I describe as co-ordinated but uncontrolled. He has good hand-eye co-ordination but trips over his own feet, crashes into things etc constantly. He also needs lots of physical affection, cannot keep his hands to himself (things not people) and doesn't have very clear ideas of personal boundaries. I really don't think it is bad behavoir on his part but my family don't really beleive that. Can anyone help?

Edited November 13, 2012 by kiwik
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[brownie]

Try doing in audio books in the car where he can't leave, he can't fidget much, and if he does, you don't have to watch him because your eyes are on the road :) I think listening to read alouds is partly a learned skill. Audio books for us are like popping in pacifiers with babies now...it;s amazing how quiet my 3 boys get! DS3 was the hard one...he used to cry for music when I put on a story and complain and carry on. Now he begs for the stories just like the older 2.

[blondeviolin]

Try doing in audio books in the car where he can't leave, he can't fidget much, and if he does, you don't have to watch him because your eyes are on the road :) I think listening to read alouds is partly a learned skill. Audio books for us are like popping in pacifiers with babies now...it;s amazing how quiet my 3 boys get! DS3 was the hard one...he used to cry for music when I put on a story and complain and carry on. Now he begs for the stories just like the older 2.

 

We get a lot of complaining about audio books from him. :glare: He only loved one (Pippi Longstocking :confused:), but now our CD player is broken. Too many coins shoved in there.:lol:

[Embassy]

My 8 year old can be highly distractable. At your son's age he had extreme difficulty listening to a book read aloud. Pictures really helped him and we took baby steps towards less and less pictures until he was able to listen to a chapter book read aloud. He still retains better when he reads aloud. Giving him something to fiddle with during a read aloud is disastrous. He goes off into his imagination which is so much more interesting than any book. He would also fit into the class clown role.

 

My son is a PG VSL. I don't think he has trouble in his church class because they are quite active and another little boy in that class is more distractable than he is.

 

Some things are boredom, but truth be told he find his imagination or the world around him so much more interesting than the task at hand. Now, if he is self-directed in his studies his attention and focus are amazing.