Do you think this should have been handled differently?

[lllll]

.... :)

[kiana]

Along with the other suggestions ... If there's any way she can video the guy's behavior, that might help the authorities understand just how bad it is. Because the guy will probably lie about it when confronted. Maybe she could have a friend video it discretely?

 

Videoing someone without their consent may or may not be illegal, and she should check first.

 

Come to think of it, her campus ought to have a legal services department and also an ombudsman, both of whom would be a good person to consult to find out what to do about this.

[nono]

Someone needs to tell him that if he lays a hand on her or her stuff again, he'll be missing a handle.

 

(Nj answer, but sometimes it needs to be said)

[the4Rs]

 

Edited to add - is her room key on the lanyard, or personal information like address and telephone number?

 

I am also curious about this aspect of it. Usually a lanyard has a student's ID card right? Does this creep now have personal info about your daughter??

[lllll]

..... :)

[Kathryn]

The girl is not a child, and this is not bullying. A college is not a school environment managed by teachers to keep minor students disciplined and safe.

 

A college is a semi-public environment at which adults purchase the service of recieving instruction etc. It is subject to the ordinary laws of ordinary places -- and her teacher has no responsibilites other than to teach (and perhaps manage his own classroom). When a woman is being harassed she needs to take action. She also needs to not leave her belongings in a hallway. I go to a *Seminary* and I wouldn't leave my belongings in unattended in a hallway.

 

What I'm saying is that she needs to stop expecting other people to look out for her and instead manage her own situations. She should do exactly what she would do if someone was acting this way towards her in a park, shopping mall, movie theatre, library or grocery store... Such as: find out if laws have been broken and make approreate reports of inappropreate conduct. Stand up straight and say, "Get lost, or I will have you charged." Move away from him, and *ask* the teacher to tell him to remain away from her.

 

Her passive attiude oozes the kind of high school girly powelessness that's going to get her all the wrong kinds of attention. If I were an undergrad prof, I'd be intentionally refusing to prop up her false view of her own role in the situations that confront her. I might be more clear about what I was trying to accomplish by it, but I'd definitely be ignoring the young man's behaviour unless it actually interfered with my instruction. (I also would never reccomend students leave their belongings unattended and I wouldn't make them wait in line -- that's defintiely poor judgment in the set-up of an exam. I'd just give the students appointment times and expect them to make their own arrangements in every other way.)

 

I agree with all of this except that the teacher still is in a position where s/he should be looking out for students and not allowing such behavior.

[Harriet Vane]

OP--Just curious to know how this has played out. Hope all is well with your dd.

[StephanieZ]

(I didn't read all the follow ups, so forgive me if this is contradicting later info, etc.)

 

I would report the situation to the Campus Police, reporting his as harrassing her, and of theft/vandalism/whatever of her pepper spray. I'd ask for help. If this doesn't fix it right away, I'd also ask for a restraining order.

 

I wouldn't even call it bullying. That is a childish term that partially excusese/minimizes the actions in light of the "childish" act of bullying. I'd use CRIMINAL terms.

 

This is criminal behavior and is completely unacceptable.

[jelbe5]

Have not read all the responses but your dd needs to report everything this bully does here on out. I would consider reporting the instructor as well. The lack of concern for how your dd is being treated is in class is problematic. Instructors who don't take steps will also be held accountable if something really goes south.

[Seasider]

OP--Just curious to know how this has played out. Hope all is well with your dd.

 

 

 

Yes, wondering here, too. Hope you come back to tell us that she finished out the semester without further incident and no damage to her grades.

[SunnyDays]

Wow, I didn't read this until today. I hope the situation is better for your daughter. I would agree with others, in these kinds of circumstances, you go to either the Dean's office, or to the police if you don't get a satisfactory response. Were it my child, I'd be inclined to involve the police up front. And no, this is more than bullying, it's harassment of a grown woman by a grown man... it's criminal and needs to be stopped. I hope your DD is doing okay. :)

[lifesadream83]

I agree with these ladies harassment charges need to be filed. Especially since now he is invading her personal property. Follow up with each subsequent instance all needs to occurr. This is not coming from me as mom either its coming from me as last year and the year prior I was taking college classes on campus prior to us moving (and now they are online) and this is what we were all informed to do in orientation.