Gross topic but need input

[Guest SarahGsMom]

TMI warning....This is my first time posting on this board. I have been reading posts a lot and finally took the time to register. I can relate to many of your experiences. I have an eight year old daughter that has GAD, APD, dyslexia, and SPD. She exhibits many traits on the autism spectrum but we have been told by a developmental pediatrician and a neuro psychiatrist that she is not on the spectrum but just quirky. We home school and she is thriving. She was in several preschools and half a year of kindergarten before we starting home schooling. She has always suffered from bouts of constipation, but it has improved with being home for school. I took her to the doctor recently since she was soiling her underwear frequently and he said to put her on miralax daily. In the past six months her bathroom trips have been messy and she ends up smelling like poop if she doesn't wipe properly. Her stools are fine it's just a motor planning issue I'm sure. I have told her to call me to help wipe if she needs it, but I do encourage her at eight years old to try to handle it. I've found out recently that her hands had poop after bathroom visits and that she was putting her finger in to help with the constipation. I explained that this is not okay if she needs help she needs to ask. We shouldn't do that because poop can have germs etc.... I noticed she did it again today...I'm frustrated and my talking about the situation progressed into her throwing water on herself...this is typical dramatic behavior and locking herself in the bathroom then her room to punish herself. I did not punish the behavior only discussed it. Any thoughts??

[herekittykitty]

To me it sounds like there are 2 issues - the constipation, and then the wiping/hygiene.

 

How much Mirilax is she on and do you think the constipation is under control? I have a 5yo who is not special needs with learning, but has struggled with constipation. It took quite awhile to get the right Mirilax dose. In the beginning she needed 1 cap/day which we did in the form of a 1/2 cap in the a.m. and a 1/2 cap in the p.m. We also discovered that 1/2 cap/day by itself was not enough. She is now on 3/4 cap/day. If you think she is still constipated I think you might need to tinker with the dose.

 

In terms of the hygiene, both of my kids (8 and 5) still occasionally need help wiping. I would just really validate her feelings of it being hard for her to manage this and clearly she really wants to work on it. What does she say if you gently ask her what she needs from you with this? I think you need to find a way to still help her with wiping if possible.

 

One other thing to consider - I have read stories of people on the spectrum having trouble with Mirilax. I do not have any personal experience with this but came across the info. when I was researching it for my daughter. She is NT so I was fine with her taking it, but the info. I came across indicated that many parents with spectrum or quirky kids noticed behavioral changes on it and believe it was being absorbed into the system, maybe due to leaky gut syndrome. There is a yahoo group for this issue.

 

Good luck and sorry you are going through this. Poop issues are no fun.

[dbmamaz]

My teen used to put his fingers in to get it out, and wipe it on the wall. his older sister hasnt gotten over the trauma yet.

 

For us i think it turned out to be food intolerance. When he was young, he was constipated, and when he got older, it turned in to diarrhea. When we got him off gluten and dairy, it all went away.

 

It sounds like a lot of work, but a 2 week trial could be enough to see if it makes a difference. a month is better. and also watch to see if it helps with some of her other quirkiness.

 

other than that, i'd say you need to check up on her after every bathroom visit, make sure she washed her hands (with a nail brush if need be) and make her take a shower if she isnt getting herself clean. and replace panties if they are soiled. Things that seem obvious to us, sometimes we have to train them the hard way.

[PeterPan]

In our house constipation is from low tone and eating a lot of white flour, so I definitely 2nd the suggestion to see if you can find the cause. As far as the hygiene, have you looked in the paper section for the wet wipes specifically made for bathroom time? http://www.amazon.com/Wet-Ones-Flushables-Personal-Cleansing/dp/B00006RZAS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1346614589&sr=8-2&keywords=wet+wipes+bathroom

[staysee34]

Constipation has never been an issue here. However, hygiene has always been an issue. When DD10 was a toddler she used to "finger paint" every morning. We tried everything we could to make it so she couldn't get to her diaper but she outsmarted us every time...Grrrr!! Anyway, I second the suggestion for flushable wipes. They are definitely a panty saver around here. Also, I put a big note right above the hand soap on the bathroom sink that said "Remember to use me when you are finished." It helped.

[NittanyJen]

Ask about Colace if the Miralax isn't helping.

 

It is a distressing problem for her as well as for you.

[IsabelC]

I can sympathize, as I have a child older than yours who is not completely toilet independent and clean. Are you seeing a continence specialist? They might be more helpful than the pediatrician.

 

For the practical issues, I think it's just a matter of patience and perseverance. I don't help my child with wiping - I decided I'd had enough when he was about 7. But I check him after every bathroom visit and keep sending him back to the toilet if he doesn't look clean. We have flushable wet wipes to make it easier. If I've sent him back three or four times and he's still not clean, I'll ask him to take a shower. Once he's properly wiped, I check his hands and make sure he's used the nail brush as well as warm water and soap.

 

Show and tell your child very explicitly how to do all of it. If she's on the spectrum - or even toward the spectrum - she may need precise instructions broken down into small parts. I have a seven step hand washing system that I remind the kids of regularly, because some kids will just wet their hands a bit and then wipe the soap/water on the hand towel if you don't show them how to wash properly. Same with butt wiping - we don't think about it much, but it's actually quite an involved skill to wipe an irregular surface that is hard for kids to reach and that they can't see :lol:

Edited September 4, 2012 by Hotdrink

[NotSoObvious]

We have very similar children.

 

Mirilax made her ADHD and sensory issues worse. I started doing my research and was shocked at what I found. We are usually pro-medication and don't have any issues with medical interventions, but I'd encourage you to read up on Mirilax given to chidlren.

 

When my dd was in kindergarten, I caught her doing something unbelievable with the poop. I won't immortalize it here.

 

We talked about how to use the bathroom and made a chart that she could follow step by step, down to how many pieces of toilet paper. I thought it was a stupid suggestion since it had nothing to do with what I had caught her doing, but it worked. It worked really well.

 

Have you given her an anema? That should help get her started. We also have assigned potty times during the day. She takes her book and just sits on the toilet with her feet on a stool. She never "has to" go, but low and behold she always does.

 

Good luck. It's an awful problem.

[Ottakee]

Lots of good ideas here.

 

The stool for the feet really helps. Hard to poop when your feet are dangling.

 

Check with the doctor about an x-ray or other test to make SURE she is really cleaned out. You can still be constipated and pooping daily.

 

A diet change might help--eliminating wheat, dairy, or other possible causes.

 

The flushable wipes are WONDERFUL. We never flushed them as we are on a septic system but they are helpful for keeping clean.